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Thread: Fierce at 50, When You Are 20 Or 30

  1. #21
    Senior Member Geila's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tybee View Post
    My list would be very pragmatic, about things like get professional licensure in something, start your own business, try to avoid having a child until you can support yourself and your child in a lifestyle you would like, believe in yourself, avoid getting married if you can. Enjoy yourself! Oh, and save 20% of every penny you earn.

    That is the kind of advice 20-30 year old me needed. I was great at the makeup, sunscreen, clothing, diet, etc. Just couldn't get the hang of the important stuff, the stuff that I wish I knew now at 61!
    Interesting. I was forced to be responsible at a very young age by life circumstances. I was working full-time by 16 while still in high school and supporting myself by 18. For several years I worked 2 jobs. And at 25, I took on a house mortgage on a fixer-upper. Maybe that's why I'm glad to remember that in those times of hard work, and sometimes overwhelming responsibility, I still had fun.

    And I can see why your own advice would be different.

  2. #22
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    My list would be very pragmatic, about things like get professional licensure in something, start your own business, try to avoid having a child until you can support yourself and your child in a lifestyle you would like, believe in yourself, avoid getting married if you can. Enjoy yourself! Oh, and save 20% of every penny you earn.

    That is the kind of advice 20-30 year old me needed. I was great at the makeup, sunscreen, clothing, diet, etc. Just couldn't get the hang of the important stuff, the stuff that I wish I knew now at 61!
    yea mine would be much about what I really do value such as knowledge and wisdom (and the latter is for age afterall), but pragmatically it would be stuff like: don't get involved with abusive men (mostly just verbal in my case mind you), that trust that even though many men are jerks there are a few good men out there, and the rest aren't worth one's time. And yes do things good for career, etc., of course.
    If you want something to get done, ask a busy person. If you want them to have a nervous breakdown that is.

  3. #23
    Moderator Float On's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Geila View Post
    Interesting. I was forced to be responsible at a very young age by life circumstances. I was working full-time by 16 while still in high school and supporting myself by 18. For several years I worked 2 jobs. And at 25, I took on a house mortgage on a fixer-upper. Maybe that's why I'm glad to remember that in those times of hard work, and sometimes overwhelming responsibility, I still had fun.
    Wow. I admire you greatly. So many teens these days feel entitled and if things don't go right they just give up. You were a fighter and had determination to make something of yourself.
    Float On: My "Happy Place" is on my little kayak in the coves of Table Rock Lake.

  4. #24
    Senior Member Geila's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Float On View Post
    Wow. I admire you greatly. So many teens these days feel entitled and if things don't go right they just give up. You were a fighter and had determination to make something of yourself.
    You are so kind and sweet! You made me tear up. I'm going to begin the productive part of my day and take your lovely words with me.

  5. #25
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    I observe my 34 yo DD's lifestyle and am in many ways, envious. She has a solid career, house and husband she loves. Also has lots of fun, friends and new experiences as a requirement. I think she is a lot more fearless than I was at that age. I sense that she has also inherited my practical side which will emerge as she ages. 50 was just a number to me since I didn't feel or look any different than 40. Dealing with the hormonal changes was a huge drag at 50-55 but once beyond all that, 60+ is by far the most content I've been in life. High heels and such hold absolutely no interest for me, then or now.

  6. #26
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    I did not mind aging until 55. That is when I noticed real changes that I did not like. Then I had a few friends die and felt lucky. I went through a 5 year period where I had a love affair with fashion but I as unhappy at the time and it went away as soon as I divorced DH # 2.

  7. #27
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    Geila, your story is amazing. YOu are one tough woman. A great example of taking charge instead of feeling sorry for yourself.

  8. #28
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    I don't see how advice that women should focus on things that are likely to provide more contentment long term rather than agonizing over aging is anything but positive. But ok fine women, accept your value as being primarily in how you look and above all how you look to men (and in stuff you can buy!) as if that ever lead anywhere good. The other stuff I don't care, I have been eating healthy since 20 something and I'm sure that is true of many women. And diet or don't diet, but the problem with dieting is probably that many people try what are frankly to them unsustainable diets physically (body can't take super low calories for instance) or diet at times in life when they aren't strong psychologically - one or the other or both - and that's hard.
    If you want something to get done, ask a busy person. If you want them to have a nervous breakdown that is.

  9. #29
    Senior Member rosarugosa's Avatar
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    I do remember my younger self clearly enough to know that if I reached back in time and gave her good advice, she probably would not take it!

  10. #30
    Senior Member JaneV2.0's Avatar
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    I love fashion like I love certain kinds of art, but being a slave to fashion is a fool's game. Developing a personal style is something else, and I expect that's pretty satisfying. (Unfortunately, my personal style is "utilitarian.") I have a long list of caveats for my younger self--pay attention to your education, don't sleepwalk through it, go abroad and stay there for long enough to decide whether you want to come back, stretch yourself...I wouldn't bother with advice on wearing heels, but I might advise my younger self to avoid excessive carbs and be wary of advice of the "everyone knows" variety. I'm solidly with ANM where it comes to thinking like a feminist and (mostly) avoiding the trap of obsessing about looks and aging, though when the reality (not the perception) of aging hits, it can be brutal.

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