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Thread: not comparing, okay comparing

  1. #1
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    not comparing, okay comparing

    I just got the schedule of our training for all staff the next 2 days. I was contacted yesterday about sharing an hour long spot with another person about literacy programs since someone heard I had good literacy programming, It will be very brief of course but I appreciate being asked to share. I had told the organizer several weeks ago that I was willing to help with anything for the training days even though I would be on vacation before, he could count on using me.

    So I just looked over the schedule and I am having crappy sour grapes, no other way to put it. There are a lot of people doing hour long sessions and one is a young lady who has hour long spots on both training days. The last training event I worked on with her she was kinda a flake, didn't do her part of what she said she would and so I stepped in. It was a small thing but crucial. She is also on my list of people who did not complete the summer reading program I ran, or at least get the information back to me. That is going to supervisors this week to take care of. So I am just frustrated, I have been working on my career goals but every year they change who does certain things, hire new people, etc. and I have to start over trying to make the progress in the areas I try to focus on, Meanwhile I don't think I am as good as a trainer as I was a few years ago. I am not as confident or energetic as I was before.

    I am sure this is normal career stuff, but it also has an element of seeing how younger people are being supported and encouraged where I feel my age (50) is already seen as I had my time already. And I spent all those younger years being told the boomers would retire so wait my turn. Oh I am just whiny frustrated.

  2. #2
    Moderator Float On's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Zoe Girl View Post
    Meanwhile I don't think I am as good as a trainer as I was a few years ago. I am not as confident or energetic as I was before.
    When you see that nothing ever changes, there are always new hires and the HR dept has a revolving door, they rehash the same things every year....yeah, it's hard to be as energetic.
    Float On: My "Happy Place" is on my little kayak in the coves of Table Rock Lake.

  3. #3
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    Thanks Float, I realize part of this is not getting the fellowship as well. It is lurking in the back.

    So this young lady will likely move on in awhile, I can't go down in income so I may be a lifer. I like my job a lot I just really wanted to grow in the area of staff training. After 4 years of asking it is hard to get energized.

  4. #4
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    Zoe, Maybe staff training isn't where you "truly" need to be? Is it more money to get the training slot or is it more that you are being ignored? Is your goal to be solely a staff trainer? I'm sorry about your fellowship, that affects a lot of your thinking I would expect. It's hard to stay enthusiastic and energetic when you feel disrespected. I'm thinking about you and sending healing and clarifying thoughts to you.

  5. #5
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    Aw that is too bad, Zoe . That kind of thing was ALWAYS happening at my old job--I felt like Little Red Hen. And yes, disresprect--that was the coin of the realm.
    Oh well. I would not be surprised if ageism were a part of it. They fired all my old bosses who were my age and older, then made them sign a paper saying they were not firing them because they were old!
    I stepped down because the job was making me physically ill. Wish I still had the money, but I was afraid it was going to kill me, but then I am ten years older than you are.

  6. #6
    Senior Member Ultralight's Avatar
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    I think emotional divestment is a great skill in today's work environment.

    I just go to work and do the tasks. When I have to interact with colleagues or bosses I just pretend -- I literally act (like an actor) and tell them whatever they want to hear.

    Then when I clock out at the end of the day I become my real self.

    If you are going to be emotionally invested in your work, then you'll feel like a beat up old pinball in a pinball machine.
    I came from a real tough neighborhood. I put my hand in some cement and felt another hand." -- Rodney Dangerfield

  7. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ultralight View Post
    I think emotional divestment is a great skill in today's work environment.

    I just go to work and do the tasks. When I have to interact with colleagues or bosses I just pretend -- I literally act (like an actor) and tell them whatever they want to hear.

    Then when I clock out at the end of the day I become my real self.

    If you are going to be emotionally invested in your work, then you'll feel like a beat up old pinball in a pinball machine.
    So true, and very wise!

  8. #8
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    It is just a really hard time of year, watching the new teachers get hired and classrooms, and then not getting the fellowship. I think is is feeling like I don't have a voice or am not being listened to, and then not being chosen, that is the theme. I never just sat around waiting for something to happen for me. When I was student teaching and looking for a job I worked so hard, did extra volunteer work, took any job they called me for, etc. I was trusted enough to sub for school the first week of school and the last week of school. I didn't get any interviews when I applied for permanent jobs. In my current district I started in after school programming and applied for permanent jobs for the first 5 years. I didn't get even one interview, ever, even with principals I knew. I know it was a recession, that I was a middle aged career changer with a masters (costs more), it just was really hard until I let my teaching license go finally.

    I don't know how to explain myself, and I don't want to get defensive, however I am a ambitious person and I thrive with intellectually challenge. I am not someone who can just totally check out with my job which is one reason I went into this field of work. That may mean I have disappointments at times, but it is worth it. I am still going to try for a real career, I put that aside for many years to take care of everyone else. I talked to the person I will be doing training with, apparently they chose her to do training and she had never done it before and was about to say no when they told her that they were pairing her with me. I apparently have a reputation as a great trainer. We planned out the training, and I really think the department is basically asking me to train her as well but won't say that directly.

  9. #9
    Senior Member iris lilies's Avatar
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    OP, what does "not being listened to" mean to you? It sounds as though you expect your suggestions to be adopted fully.

    In an organization, when voices are heard it doesnt necessarily follow that those ideas are adopted, that the recommendations of the voices are put into place. But the voices are "heard."

    How do your handle this issue with staff who report to you? I'll bet you dont adopt every suggestion they make but do you "hear" them? I'll bet you do.

  10. #10
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    I don't expect that I will get people to do what I want, or that it will be all my way. It is more of a evaluating if I am doing it well, talking to the right person, being open to feedback, and working towards something. So if I am asking a specific thing year after year am I simply not qualified and need to learn or practice things? Do I not understand the structure of roles to ask the right person? Am I bringing this up at the wrong time, ie a week after the training schedule was created? And the first year or so I really didn't expect to necessarily have someone remember or listen well, just like I didn't expect to get a teaching interview the first time I did a great job as a substitute teacher. Mostly I think despite all the rhetoric over the years there is too much change and chaos to actually help any of us develop our skills in a coherent manner. They come up with something like peer mentors or actual mentors or some idea every year, it falls apart typically. I sign up and try it out every time, do I get an A for effort (just kidding).

    As far as my own staff, I respond to them. I don't do everything they want, in fact I know I am going to struggle with one person who is already questioning me and we have only had one back to school phone call! It is going to be my way however I will spend some time talking to her about it, It is just basic communication skills. Like answering the email or saying more than 'great' verbally. Even just saying (with a nice tone) that this year the supervisors are taking the lead on training would at least give me a response. Or when the next training date comes up and you are not using me just say something, yes difficult but that is why people are managers. I need to do that with my staff after all,

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