I just got the schedule of our training for all staff the next 2 days. I was contacted yesterday about sharing an hour long spot with another person about literacy programs since someone heard I had good literacy programming, It will be very brief of course but I appreciate being asked to share. I had told the organizer several weeks ago that I was willing to help with anything for the training days even though I would be on vacation before, he could count on using me.

So I just looked over the schedule and I am having crappy sour grapes, no other way to put it. There are a lot of people doing hour long sessions and one is a young lady who has hour long spots on both training days. The last training event I worked on with her she was kinda a flake, didn't do her part of what she said she would and so I stepped in. It was a small thing but crucial. She is also on my list of people who did not complete the summer reading program I ran, or at least get the information back to me. That is going to supervisors this week to take care of. So I am just frustrated, I have been working on my career goals but every year they change who does certain things, hire new people, etc. and I have to start over trying to make the progress in the areas I try to focus on, Meanwhile I don't think I am as good as a trainer as I was a few years ago. I am not as confident or energetic as I was before.

I am sure this is normal career stuff, but it also has an element of seeing how younger people are being supported and encouraged where I feel my age (50) is already seen as I had my time already. And I spent all those younger years being told the boomers would retire so wait my turn. Oh I am just whiny frustrated.