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Thread: How to decide where to live

  1. #141
    Senior Member catherine's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tybee View Post
    I didn't mean you should not feel for them or like them or want to help, just that I was getting unclear message about if you really really like the house and would be satisfied with it--do you love the house enough to really want to buy it--do you both love it enough? That's what I was trying the say, justfocus on the house itself and whether you will be satisfied--knowing it is REALLY hard to know that without moving there.
    Well, my thought is a good rent-to-buy thing, where a significant % of the money would go toward down payment if we decided to purchase in the spring, would be the best. But at the same time, I really do like the house a lot, and I haven't seen anything close in my price range. I think I'm cautious because honestly, it's out of the frying pan with the IRS and back into the fire with another mortgage until we sell the New Jersey house. I am getting pressure mostly from my family. DH LOVES it and is on it like a pit bull, and one of my sons in particular calls me every day citing the advantages of it.

    I do love it, I really do. It would enable a more simple life in many ways. The thing I'm most worried about is being able to live small. But it's a great opportunity.
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  2. #142
    Senior Member iris lilies's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by catherine View Post
    I know. Point well taken.

    We're speaking with the realtor today. She has told me that realtors always do whatever they can to keep buyers and sellers apart. Now I see why. We met them, and their baby, and they were so sweet, and yes, I have to admit it's hard to be dispassionate about their misfortune but I'll do the best I can.
    I know how you feel.

    I feel so badly for the youngish family who own that house we talked about buying. I want to --but I wont-- contact the real estate agent to ask her to tell them that their house is cool, it is quirky, it has charm and the only reason we didnt buy it is because we decided Hermann was just too small to live in permenantly (and two regular size houses are a strain.) I even fantasize about offering them full price since their asking price is low and a few thousand dollars makes no difference to us but probably makes a big difference to them.

    The dad in that family was offered a good job in tiny Hermann, they moved from out of state there, and then his job was eliminated.

  3. #143
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    On the flip side with the mortgage question, there are definitely risks to selling NJ if you don't have a house to go to, and this sounds really, really good.
    If you love it, and it gets you closer to a more simple life, than awesome--good luck and sending good thoughts for a good outcome for all!

  4. #144
    Senior Member iris lilies's Avatar
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    The thing about "small living" is that I always assume I could build an outbuilding to hold The Stuff and to house The Activities. I also plan very large 3 season porches on smallish houses. These additions that cost $25,000 -$60,000 are a way to ease into a property that otherwise hits all of the points.

  5. #145
    Senior Member catherine's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by iris lilies View Post
    The thing about "small living" is that I always assume I could build an outbuilding to hold The Stuff and to house The Activities. I also plan very large 3 season porches on smallish houses. These additions that cost $25,000 -$60,000 are a way to ease into a property that otherwise hits all of the points.
    The owner already built 3 outbuildings for storage! Since they bought it 4 years ago, they put in new windows, renovated the bathroom (it has a fabulous refurbished clawfoot tub), built-in shelves, added insulation, added a mudroom and expanded the kitchen, put in new appliances, added fruit trees and shrubs perennial hedges and vegetables gardens, a pergola and a fire pit.
    "Do any human beings ever realize life while they live it--every, every minute?" Emily Webb, Our Town
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  6. #146
    Senior Member catherine's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tybee View Post
    On the flip side with the mortgage question, there are definitely risks to selling NJ if you don't have a house to go to, and this sounds really, really good.
    If you love it, and it gets you closer to a more simple life, than awesome--good luck and sending good thoughts for a good outcome for all!
    Thanks! .. We'll see what happens. I tend to trust the Universe, and I do think it's weird that this comes around JUST when we've put the other house behind us.
    "Do any human beings ever realize life while they live it--every, every minute?" Emily Webb, Our Town
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  7. #147
    Senior Member iris lilies's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by catherine View Post
    Thanks! .. We'll see what happens. I tend to trust the Universe, and I do think it's weird that this comes around JUST when we've put the other house behind us.
    I think it is very smart of you to be careful about taking on snother mortgage when you already have one mortgage.

    If you can sell the NJ place quickly, it should end up ok. But as you well know the bottom can drop out of the real estate market on a dime.

    Some of the issues I see as problematic: listing your NJ house at a price to sell, your DH panicking and asking for silly high price. Your BIL sabotaging the sale as he lives there and doesnt keep the place up (in my mind, you and DH are off in Vermont.) Probably there are other issues that could interfere.

  8. #148
    Senior Member iris lilies's Avatar
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    P.s. Has the house next door actually closed?

  9. #149
    Senior Member catherine's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by iris lilies View Post
    P.s. Has the house next door actually closed?
    Well.... not quite, but we're getting there. It has been one PIA after another. BIL: looked at me like a deer in the headlights, asking "so, you mean, they'll sleep here Tuesday night?" (Two days before closing). "Yes, once we go to 'the meeting' that means we can't come back to the house." (duh.. and this was the third time he asked me about that).

    He also looked at me blankly when I I told him he had to be packed up and ready to move out in 3 days. This house has been under contract for 3 MONTHS!!!" When he AND DH said, "Well, we didn't know," I wanted to knock their skulls together. Did they think they were going to get 30 days notice???

    So, there are a few things up in the air right now. We were supposed to close tomorrow, but DH couldn't get the POD removed fast enough, and although we have made all the repairs the buyer has asked for, we still have to replace two electric receptacles, which DH says he is going to do. He CAN do it, but the question is WHEN? These two brothers, as endearing as they are, were not raised to handle stress in any way, shape or form. I was held up from being involved because it's not my house, but basically DH has told me that I better just take over. It's too much for him.
    "Do any human beings ever realize life while they live it--every, every minute?" Emily Webb, Our Town
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  10. #150
    Senior Member iris lilies's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by catherine View Post
    Well.... not quite, but we're getting there. It has been one PIA after another. BIL: looked at me like a deer in the headlights, asking "so, you mean, they'll sleep here Tuesday night?" (Two days before closing). "Yes, once we go to 'the meeting' that means we can't come back to the house." (duh.. and this was the third time he asked me about that).

    He also looked at me blankly when I I told him he had to be packed up and ready to move out in 3 days. This house has been under contract for 3 MONTHS!!!" When he AND DH said, "Well, we didn't know," I wanted to knock their skulls together. Did they think they were going to get 30 days notice???

    So, there are a few things up in the air right now. We were supposed to close tomorrow, but DH couldn't get the POD removed fast enough, and although we have made all the repairs the buyer has asked for, we still have to replace two electric receptacles, which DH says he is going to do. He CAN do it, but the question is WHEN? These two brothers, as endearing as they are, were not raised to handle stress in any way, shape or form. I was held up from being involved because it's not my house, but basically DH has told me that I better just take over. It's too much for him.
    Then, I fear for you in having responsibility for two houses/mortgages again since it is all on your shoulders.

    What in god's name will your BIL do when he has to find a place to live on his own after you remove his place to live (your house in NJ?) you will have to forcibly remove him. How else can this scenario go? I would imagine that your DH is enthusiastic enough about the Vermont lake property that he will go there easily, but will he do everything necessary to sell the NJ housw?

    I wont even ask what ya'll are doing with a POD, I i just assume it is another thing you are paying for, storing BIL's stuff.

    But it does sound as though you are almost to the finish line with the sale of this house, yay!

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