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Thread: Becoming a boring person...

  1. #21
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    You might try reading the original book by Danny Wallace, Yes Man. And yes, they took a fictionalized, stylized bit of his life to make into that movie. (the movie is not as good as the real life story)

  2. #22
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    Quote Originally Posted by ApatheticNoMore View Post
    do you define interesting as a lot of adrenalin, thrill seeking? Seems where it might be going. That's some people's definition, not everyone (oh the propensity is almost certainly genetic - but maybe everyone likes a little bit). Yea someone who reads a lot of books has a good chance of being interesting IMO, but it doesn't mean one needs to spend every spare hour staring at ink on paper or the electronic equivalent.
    I am not an adrenaline junky at all. Once in a while a big thrill is fun; I enjoyed ziplining, for instance.

  3. #23
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    Quote Originally Posted by Geila View Post
    Yes, you sound bored.

    My life is pretty boring but I'm happy with it. And I'm pretty sure I'm a very boring person. But again, I'm happy so it doesn't bother me.

    I recall reading that you lost your passion for fishing? Have you replaced that interest with anything else?

    I go through 6 month cycles of interest for most things. I get really intensely into something, pursue it wholeheartedly, and then burn out and move on to something else. A few interests have stood the test of time - DH! , my pets, gardening, and a few others. But having something new to look forward to is always nice.

    Maybe you need some new things to get you out of your rut? If so, what seems interesting?

    Hey - how about you tackle your fear of dancing by taking a dancing class?! That would get your adrenaline going pretty quick!
    I already learned to dance from Dance Floor Arsenal (and I suggest it to any straight white man who has never danced).

  4. #24
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    Quote Originally Posted by Chicken lady View Post
    It sounds less like you are concerned about being boring and more like you are bored (only boring people get bored?)
    I feel restless more than bored. I usually only get bored at work. Plenty of people who are boring don't themselves feel bored. I don't feel bored as much as I feel like I am becoming a boring person.

    There are always books to read, so I can stave off boredom that way if by no other method.

    Quote Originally Posted by Chicken lady View Post
    i think you are just searching for your next big thing - your environment and schedule are so simplified that they don't offer you enough stimulation.
    I may be searching for my next big thing. I thought it was going to be bike touring. But I simply cannot find a bike and/or saddle that does not hurt like a son-of-a-b@#%&*!

    So I will stick to just commuting, I guess.

    As for my environment being too simplified, uh... I doubt that. I actually feel like it is a bit cluttered, not terribly so, but a bit. I am up to like 225 things.

  5. #25
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    Numbers don't tell the whole story.

    you have simplified the variety and interest away and must get it elsewhere. How many of those 225 items are not utilitarian? (If you have two forks that are hand forged and carefully selected because the weight and design delight you, you may count them as not utilitarian even if you eat with them.)

    Passion. You are missing passion. Delight, fascination...

    i do not know how to help you with that. One of the JOYS of a hoarding personality is that those things are found everywhere.

  6. #26
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    Quote Originally Posted by Chicken lady View Post
    Numbers don't tell the whole story.
    In a sense this is true. But as a practicing minimalist who wants a healthy relationship with "stuff" I think the numbers matter.

    Quote Originally Posted by Chicken lady View Post
    you have simplified the variety and interest away and must get it elsewhere. How many of those 225 items are not utilitarian? (If you have two forks that are hand forged and carefully selected because the weight and design delight you, you may count them as not utilitarian even if you eat with them.)
    I have a xootr (adult kick scooter) than I have and enjoy zipping around on. I take it to work sometimes, so it has a utilitarian aspect to it. But it is hardly necessary.

    I have two small speakers for listening to music.

    I have whatever books I am actively reading at the moment.

    I still have my fishing pole, and I fish occasionally.

    I have a journal I write in and two dumb bells I exercise with.

    Quote Originally Posted by Chicken lady View Post
    Passion. You are missing passion. Delight, fascination...
    I agree this is true. You are right...

    Quote Originally Posted by Chicken lady View Post
    i do not know how to help you with that. One of the JOYS of a hoarding personality is that those things are found everywhere.
    Explain...

  7. #27
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    Okay I am not a boring person, by any means. I actually work at fitting in a bit more with normal than is natural. I realize that over the top can be irritating. I have lots of interesting stories and things I have done that people appear to want to listen to, or I notice that they don't and save it for another time. It seems a common thing is when people are talking to me they tend to laugh, sometimes kinda at me, but it is okay.

    So I have to say that when I get distressed about something your general advice is to detach a lot. I am highly engaged in people and things, which sometimes leads to distress. You are much less engaged which sometimes leads to boredom. At least that is how I see it. So we can both move towards the middle I think.

    Did I tell you about my dragon puppet project lately?

  8. #28
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    Explaination - my brain is wired such that if you give me ten minutes in the non-fiction section of any library, I will find at least three new topics I want to know everything about or projects I desperately want to start. If you give me a box of rocks, I can become deeply absorbed in the possibilities that present themselves.

    i cannot comprehend Marie kondo because everything sparks joy. Everything has limitless possibilities. I would have trouble getting enthused about the Dumbbells, because I don't enjoy exercising. but if they were the most interesting thing in my environment, I would.

    my challenge is not to "find my passion" my challenge is to channel it.

    your scooter was the first thing on the list. I have never wanted a scooter, but presented with the idea of a scooter, my brain immediately began tossing out adventures I could have with such a scooter. If dh came home and said "look, I got us scooters." I would be delighted. Not interested. Delighted. Enthusiastic. "Let's drop everything and take them somewhere!" We haven't had dinner? That's ok, I'm not hungry anymore, I have a new scooter! (Oh look, a squirrel!)

  9. #29
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    In my view, boring is the best way to be. It's solid, trustworthy and dependable, and probably healthier. What could be more annoying than listening to someone blather on about their accomplishments or travels or "passions". You know what passion gets you? Ask Romeo and Juliet. Ask Jim Morrison. Ask Hemingway. Its just another word for obsession. At base, dullness is the inner strength that comes from not particularly caring whether other people think you're interesting or not.

    https://www.lsnglobal.com/opinion/ar...boring-is-best

  10. #30
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    By the time I got to the end of this thread I realized others have said what I was going to say: Maybe you are not boring, you are bored. Big difference. And, I agree with the person, (Catherine maybe?), who said if you read then you are not boring. I love talking with people who read on a variety of subjects and find them very interesting. As far as something new in one's life, that can cover areas from major like a romantic interest, to just trying something a little new to you. Confession time here: I have a good friend that I met maybe a week after my DH's funeral just over 2 years ago. She had just come out of a divorce and both of us were alone. We bonded and have spent a lot of time together. Well, for something new that we decided spur of the moment to do? We are "crashing". How it started was we had driven to a resort/lodge place after having dinner one night a couple of months ago and thought we would go in and have dessert. But instead we noticed a big group of people milling around in another area, and realized it was a wedding reception. We looked at each other and said "let's crash!". So we did! It was mostly over, no toasts and that sort of thing, so we mingled around, ate some cake, watched some dancers, signed a large card, (a mystery for the couple to wonder who we were), and even complimented the bride on her dress. Now we look for things to crash. We have been pretty successful. All in fun, just fun, and something new to do for 2 over imaginative, somewhat creative, 60+ year old women!
    "Like a bird on the wire, like a drunk in the midnight choir, I have tried in my way to be free." Leonard Cohen

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