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Thread: Becoming a boring person...

  1. #31
    Senior Member iris lilies's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Chicken lady View Post
    Numbers don't tell the whole story.

    you have simplified the variety and interest away and must get it elsewhere. How many of those 225 items are not utilitarian? (If you have two forks that are hand forged and carefully selected because the weight and design delight you, you may count them as not utilitarian even if you eat with them.)

    Passion. You are missing passion. Delight, fascination...

    i do not know how to help you with that. One of the JOYS of a hoarding personality is that those things are found everywhere.
    That is a wonderful insight. Remarkable!

    I can understand it! I am doing this flower design hobby where every object can be incorporated in some way into a floral design if only I am creative enough. I am back to examining dumpsters to mull over objecgs inside. I have a basement full of crap, and that crap pile is growing.

    The one way I am different from a horder is that I can decide I dislike something and it has to go, or I can allot myself o ly X amount of space and the treasures have to fit in X space or they are banished. Or, I can decide to do away with this hobby all together, and it will all disappear.

    but right now I take delight, and passion is inspired, by "stuff,"

  2. #32
    Senior Member SteveinMN's Avatar
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    Someone actually gave me this book a few decades ago (mostly tongue-in-cheek):



    (sorry the image is fuzzy; the book is out of print and my copy is not handy)

    Even with the badge of "dull" or "boring", by third-party accounts I do not come across that way. As catherine wrote, we often are not perceived the way we see ourselves. I'm interested in a variety of topics because, like Chicken lady, almost anything I don't know about automatically is interesting to me (may not be for too long but by then I usually have learned enough to discuss the topic at least a little with someone else).

    Quote Originally Posted by Ultralight
    So I will see others, like at work. They mostly talk about the local sports team or some show on TV. "Did you see the guy that caught that ball?"
    "Yes!"
    "Amazing!"

    Or: "Did you already see the episode where Glenn flies the plane?"
    "Yes, it was amazing!"
    "Sure was!"

    But that stuff is not amazing to me. That stuff is amusement -- or as Orwell called it: Prolefeed.
    The term "amazing" is amazingly overused in 21st-century America.

    Here is where I take a page from a hit TV show whih I'm guessing you don't watch , "The Big Bang Theory", in which autism-spectrum Sheldon sometimes is told that others are behaving according to "accepted social convention". It took me years until I finally saw an entire episode of "Friends". I follow hockey and no other pro sport in town.

    But because it is the "accepted social convention" and I want to connect with people where they are, I will watch the sports broadcast for the highlights of the game and see the catch -- or watch the video clip on the Web (less time spent on that). Or I'll say that I didn't watch Glenn fly the plane because I was reading (or whatever) but ask them to describe the scene (and smile and nod if I need to).

    As a grandfather to two girls, I'm sure I eventually will need to figure out the taxonomy of Disney princesses even if I personally have no interest in feeding the Disney Borg. I'll even (gasp!) bone up on specific events if I know they'll be of interest to the person I want to talk with -- like find out how the local basketball team is doing when a particular cousin is in town. I look at it as an investment in people. Maybe I'm just weird that way. But it does fit in with that "it's new and I'd like to learn" mindset.

    Quote Originally Posted by Ultralight
    I have been kicking around this observation:
    Interesting people take something in their life to the extreme.
    As others in this thread have pointed out, there is "interesting" and there is "interesting to you". Plenty of us in Blandsville (a rapidly-growing community) are considered interesting to other people. I think that's because we connect with them at some level. There is no reason the conversation can't start with that catch in the game and then progress to "Did you play <that sport>?" and let the conversation wander to sports in which each of you engage in (or wish you could engage in [again]). Or to hear about Glenn and let that conversation go to ... oh, a character in a book you're reading who is much like Glenn. Or another actor in the show that was in a movie based on a book you read.

    It requires active listening. And a sufficient interest in people in the first place. And some understanding of the "accepted social convention". Perhaps that's part of the issue here. But maybe the bigger part here is figuring out if you're boring (to others) or boring (to you).
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  3. #33
    Senior Member JaneV2.0's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by catherine View Post
    A. Anyone who reads a lot of books is by definition an interesting person, at least to me. If I went to dinner with you, I'm sure I would not find you boring. There are so few of you around!

    B. Maybe doing extreme activities is one definition of interesting but not the only one. My brother drinks to an extreme. That does not make HIM interesting.

    My definition of an interesting person is an interested person. People who are curious, questioning, delightful, those are interesting people.

    ....
    I don't find one-note people particularly interesting, unless their single passion intersects with one of mine, and that's pretty limiting. I'm like Chicken Lady, with a thousand interests, from reincarnation to collage, but I'm rarely vocal about them. Mostly, I listen to other people talk. I don't care if they find me boring; I'm delightful up here in my head.

  4. #34
    Moderator Float On's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ultralight View Post
    - is that in May I took a trip to the Middle East (not something a lot of Midwestern folks do).

    UL
    By the way, did you ever tell us much about this trip? Did I miss your post about it? I was hoping you'd share about it.
    I get really bored and have to find something new to do. Wish DH was interested in moving, I'm really ready for a change. This year, believe it or not, I kind of got bored with Kayaking the same lakes all the time. I've only been out a few times down from going pretty much daily. Kind of like you giving up your fishing. Are you finding a new hobby?
    Float On: My "Happy Place" is on my little kayak in the coves of Table Rock Lake.

  5. #35
    Senior Member JaneV2.0's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Chicken lady View Post
    Numbers don't tell the whole story.

    you have simplified the variety and interest away and must get it elsewhere. How many of those 225 items are not utilitarian? (If you have two forks that are hand forged and carefully selected because the weight and design delight you, you may count them as not utilitarian even if you eat with them.)

    Passion. You are missing passion. Delight, fascination...

    i do not know how to help you with that. One of the JOYS of a hoarding personality is that those things are found everywhere.
    Well said. I don't know when being surrounded by items that bring you joy got to be pathological, but as I've said before--I'll have X number of items when I'm installed in an institution, and not before.

  6. #36
    Senior Member KayLR's Avatar
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    Ha! Sad E-L---that's awesome! I wish I had someone to do that with!

    UL, I agree with all who say you're looking for your next passion. But my take is, are you content? Contentment is what I seek. AND I agree that as long as you are reading, you are not boring to someone else...unless they're a bore.
    My therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what I start. So far today, I have finished two bags of M&Ms and a chocolate cake. I feel better already!

  7. #37
    Senior Member Teacher Terry's Avatar
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    I don't see how someone pursuing a master's degree can be boring. I couldn't go to college until I was 31 and we had the $ saved and I loved getting all 4 of my degrees. It was one of the most exciting things I have ever done. If this degree is not making you feel excited perhaps you are choosing the wrong career path. I don;t think you need to be an adrenaline junky to not be boring. Be interested in other people and what they say, do etc and I guarantee no one will think you are boring.

  8. #38
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    Well said. I don't know when being surrounded by items that bring you joy got to be pathological, but as I've said before--I'll have X number of items when I'm installed in an institution, and not before.
    it can provide some novelty to have an interesting environment and novelty is a basic human need. I recommend the book: "the joyless economy" (ha I would). People get lost when they look for more novelty than it can provide (mass produced things only provide so much compared to custom things, and then regardless we *eventually* get bored of seeing them all the time anyway - I guess this could be an argument for rotating things - bought used and donated when done with them of course!). Or when they look for more than novelty in it (it's low level novelty not meaning we're talking about here afterall).

    Anyway no one has to have nice things to have novelty as there are other sources (even interesting food to give one everyday example - with the usual caveat of moderation).
    Trees don't grow on money

  9. #39
    Senior Member Ultralight's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by LDAHL View Post
    In my view, boring is the best way to be. It's solid, trustworthy and dependable, and probably healthier. What could be more annoying than listening to someone blather on about their accomplishments or travels or "passions". You know what passion gets you? Ask Romeo and Juliet. Ask Jim Morrison. Ask Hemingway. Its just another word for obsession. At base, dullness is the inner strength that comes from not particularly caring whether other people think you're interesting or not.

    https://www.lsnglobal.com/opinion/ar...boring-is-best
    I could count the rice. In fact, I kind of want to count the rice.

  10. #40
    Senior Member Ultralight's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Float On View Post
    By the way, did you ever tell us much about this trip? Did I miss your post about it? I was hoping you'd share about it.
    I get really bored and have to find something new to do. Wish DH was interested in moving, I'm really ready for a change. This year, believe it or not, I kind of got bored with Kayaking the same lakes all the time. I've only been out a few times down from going pretty much daily. Kind of like you giving up your fishing. Are you finding a new hobby?
    My 12 days in Israel, Palestine, and Jordan were some of the best days of my life -- beaches, food, adventure. I loved Israel and would move there if I could! Tel Aviv is dreamy and blissful to me.

    I was wondering how your kayaking was going this summer...

    No new major hobby for me. I am still looking, I guess. I real First World Problem.

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