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Thread: Obituaries

  1. #21
    Senior Member SteveinMN's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by razz View Post
    Interesting reading this. When DH passed on, the funeral home had a form for me to fill in with simple questions that I and my daughters considered. The funeral director advised of the approximate cost and submitted the obit to the local paper for the day that I wanted it. It never occurred to me that I had to do the obit and submit if myself.
    razz, I think that varies. If the obit is pretty straightforward, filling out the form does the job and makes it easier on the bereaved. But some folks like to tell a story or are particular about the light in which their loved one is put (not implying that you didn't; it's just that tellling the story is really important to some folks). That's when they should write the obit themselves.

    Last month a cousin of mine (whom I did not know well) died, primarily of system shutdown caused by alcohol abuse. Her siblings chose to write an obit that carefully avoided mention of that and concentrated on the more functional parts of her life, which a funeral director would not have known. And the local paper charged by the word for it. I think the sibs viewed it as part of their healing process, so it was worth it.
    Success is to be measured not so much by the position that one has reached in life as by the obstacles which he has overcome. - Booker T. Washington

  2. #22
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    My Dad is 89 and still yells WHOO WHO I beat so and so when he read the obits. Me I try never to read them.

  3. #23
    Senior Member Teacher Terry's Avatar
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    It was important to me to write my friend's obit because I wanted it to be meaningful. She was a truly wonderful person. My Mom wrote her own because she was convinced we would somehow screw it up) My Mom asked certain people to sing certain songs at her funeral and bought everything ahead of time. There was nothing for us to do really which was great.

  4. #24
    Senior Member KayLR's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Teacher Terry View Post
    It was important to me to write my friend's obit because I wanted it to be meaningful. She was a truly wonderful person. My Mom wrote her own because she was convinced we would somehow screw it up) My Mom asked certain people to sing certain songs at her funeral and bought everything ahead of time. There was nothing for us to do really which was great.
    My mom was the same...only her pre-written obit sounded more like a police report. So I lightened and spruced it up. I mean, she even used the word "begat" in reference to me and my siblings! Good grief.
    My therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what I start. So far today, I have finished two bags of M&Ms and a chocolate cake. I feel better already!

  5. #25
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    A bit more then 20 years ago, we had a rash where people were reading the obits and breaking into the houses of the deceased or family, during the funeral. It cut way down on obits. Then one local paper, has decreased its size and increased costs, so it is used less.
    Quote Originally Posted by Lainey View Post
    My only nit is those which describe the deceased's "courageous battle against [cancer, other disease]." Does anyone ever say they fought a half-assed battle, or declined to "fight" at all?
    Yes, see Kay's which starts out with a Monty Python quote:
    http://www.aarp.org/home-family/frie...uaries-fd.html

    I would like mine to be funny as well, but with my weird sense of humor, it will probably start with, "Now is your chance to be first in line to piss on his grave!".

  6. #26
    Senior Member razz's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ToomuchStuff View Post

    I would like mine to be funny as well, but with my weird sense of humor, it will probably start with, "Now is your chance to be first in line to piss on his grave!".
    If you go into old graveyards and look at some of the words on the tombstones, they are really funny. In Fredericton, NB, I saw stones that said something like "He tried to cross a swollen river" or " Drank too much" so yours will fit right in there.
    As Cicero said, “Gratitude is not only the greatest of virtues, but the parent of all the others.”

  7. #27
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    Quote Originally Posted by ToomuchStuff View Post
    . . .

    Yes, see Kay's which starts out with a Monty Python quote:
    http://www.aarp.org/home-family/frie...uaries-fd.html
    . . ..
    "...she complained all the way." ha ha, love it

  8. #28
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    Quote Originally Posted by bae View Post
    I've had to place some obituaries recently. Some newspapers are very predatory in their pricing. (And the things I could say about funeral homes...)
    I agree about the newspaper pricing for obituaries. It's weird that it's become a money-maker but I'm sure the economics of newspapers these days is what drove them to it.
    But why in the world won't they even do simple edits on them? It appears that they run them exactly as submitted. I think the fee should include automatic corrections of typos and bad grammar.

  9. #29
    Senior Member SteveinMN's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lainey View Post
    But why in the world won't they even do simple edits on them? It appears that they run them exactly as submitted. I think the fee should include automatic corrections of typos and bad grammar.
    There are some (many?) in the news world who don't believe in altering what is essentially someone's direct quote (an obituary someone has written for the deceased). It robs the quote of its character and realism to clean up grammar and syntax. Then there's not knowing what exactly is a typo. "... survived by daughter Dembie and son Khristopher." There isn't the time/money to chase down every possible misspelling or typo to verify that it is, indeed, incorrect. At least if the obit provider leaves it alone and can show the submission form/email/paper showed the same error, they're absolved of messing that up at a time when many people themselves are messed up by the emotion of the event.
    Success is to be measured not so much by the position that one has reached in life as by the obstacles which he has overcome. - Booker T. Washington

  10. #30
    Senior Member Teacher Terry's Avatar
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    Kay, if we had changed one word of my mom's she would have haunted us forever)

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