I want to say that this was irritation level, not necessarily a big problem. I was really watching my own reaction and feelings throughout the process, even physical sensations, which is a practice I do with my Buddhist teachers a lot. Of course tone is always hard to express on-line, but it was mostly curiosity. I had a good time and felt really comfortable, just interesting in this context to have different views when you expect same-ness. I can see this when other people have discomfort with me because they expect same-ness based on how I look or my age, gender, race and yet there is difference. It is something I rather delight in, not in a way of making people terribly uncomfortable but pushing ourselves to look at a wider range of possibilities, and then come back to where we have some inherent same-ness that is not dependent on what we eat or our religion.

On the conflict of being a rebel and being accepted, well doesn't everyone want to be accepted a little? I know when I try too hard to conform it doesn't work out well, however I have been working over the last few years at realizing I need people, gasp, and I am capable of being with people, and we are all going to irritate the crap out of each other at times. And also working on how to have a voice that is clear and appropriate? In the workplace I often think I can say more than I do, but then I try and realized that it just isn't the place. I love deep conversations, not always many good places for it. I am spending more time on my talks for our local buddhist group and for the online phone call. I was actually talking about community and how we mirror each other based on some conversations we had in our group. One man was very surprised that when he visited family it was a big deal that he no longer fished (Buddhist precept reason). He didn't see it as a big deal but it became a huge issue.

As a small note, I said Catholic confessor because this man in particular was referencing his Catholic childhood a lot. It made sense in the context of talking to him.