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Thread: Alcohol and meat

  1. #1
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    Alcohol and meat

    Last night i went to a BBQ with mindfulness teachers, yes i got out of the house and had fun. What was interesting was how fast certain topics came up. I am not sureif how, i just was saying that i run into students and families all the time so I don't do too many wild things. Someone was kinda joking that i must not drink, well i actually don't. Which switched him to talking about teaching kids at a Buddhist monastery and how his social drinking works cor him. I listened, and then it morphed into eating meat. I primarily don't eat meat but i am also not strict like i was for 16 years. Another thingto that does not affect me at all, i would love to talk about tasty food however.

    I noted that although i wasn't bothered by whether he drank or not, ate meat or not, i was noting some irritation possible in me. Mostly that it is 2017, being veggie is not that weird, and in self proclaimed Buddhist circles not drinking is also not a big deal. I am getting to places where i feel an irritable reaction is brewing. I am quiet about these things, unlike the militant vegan i keep hearing about i just do my own thing. But please people, let it go. If you are conflicted about eating meat i am not your catholic confessor. I would also like to be over the long stare when people find out what is different about me. Hasn't happened in a long time but my new boss gave it when he was picking up breakfast burritos and i asked for no meat. He asked 2 more times about it.

    Ahh had a great time however, really nice people and lots to choose from to eat. I wish i would have brought a cold salad of more of my own choice but I specifically signed up for potato salad. Have a lot of potato salad now, i would have loved quinoa and black bean salad. We do this 2 times a year so i will suggest a dish to bring next time

  2. #2
    Senior Member rosarugosa's Avatar
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    That seems weird that it would be an issue in Buddhist circles, especially. My sister is a vegetarian and we are respectful of this and go out of our way to make sure we are choosing a place with decent vegetarian options when we go to a restaurant.
    I will say that at least as far as my sister is concerned, I think she has a less healthy diet than me because all the lean proteins like fish are off the table for her. She is what I would call a "Mac & Cheese" vegetarian, but to each her own.

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    Senior Member catherine's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by rosarugosa View Post
    That seems weird that it would be an issue in Buddhist circles, especially.
    That's exactly what I was thinking! Don't buddhists as a rule abstain from meat and alcohol??

    When I was more like 100% lacto-ovo vegetarian, I also never proselytized but often got that mild annoyance when I got that look, so I know how you feel. Very few people can imagine a world without meat-eating, although there are vast swaths of vegetarian populations (South India, 7th Day Adventists, etc.) who are obviously surviving. I get annoyed when I choose a big salad with a ton of non-animal proteins (eggs, legumes, nuts etc.), and people will look at me with concern and ask, "Don't you want protein on that?"

    We've battered this topic a million times over on these forums, so I'm not looking to make the case that *most* people can live fine without animal protein and that we get lots of protein from other sources yet again. But I just want to say, I hear ya. It is annoying.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Zoe Girl View Post
    But please people, let it go. If you are conflicted about eating meat i am not your catholic confessor.
    Maybe work on a different response if someone brings up the topic, and you are uncomfortable talking about it? Since you can't control what other people say or do, all that is left is to control your own reaction. That's where letting it go can come in--you let go of any ego around the interaction--who cares what they think of you, if you are not interested in what they are saying and reject what they are saying.

    I'm thinking this through from an AlAnon standpoint--two quotes come to mind--one is

    I don't have to go to every fight I am invited to
    and

    secondis JADE--you don't have to
    Justify
    Argue
    Defend
    Explain
    youractions.

    Ultimately, you choose your reaction, the hostility, the"Catholic confessor" remark. Would you have said "I am not your Muslim Imam"? Maybe you would have, who knows?

    But these may be good questions to ask yourself. You are at some level choosing the hostility.

    Maybe the Great Spirit is sending you lots of little learning experiences to learn to let go of caring what other people think of your choices?

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    There is some lack of inner confidence.

    Affirmations are good. I am good. My choices are good for me. They are not hurting anyone else. They make me more interesting. I can ignore or educate if I want to. I have my good reasons for doing what I do and being what I want to be.

    I am hearing "Others don't get me or my choices. Others look at me funny or question my choices."

    Sort of like our choice to not have kids. I have faced all kinds of responses and my standard reply is to smile and say I am happy about my choices period. There is no need to explain why or why not unless I really like the person and want more of a connection. My choice. And some can be really bothersome when you dont immediately agree with them that their choice of having kids is the right one.

    In the long run, any conversation starter can be a good thing. Gives you a chance to smile at someone and talk about whatever they bring up. It can lead to other things.

    ps: I always bring what I want to eat to a potluck because I can be somewhat picky. I bring a great green salad or a pasta salad that I love. Husband brings warm macncheese because he loves it. I would generally not allow anyone to dictate what I was bringing or sign up for something I would not be happy bringing home and eating. Did you choose potato salad and change your mind? Why not bring the black bean salad? Seems either would be fine as a side choice and healthy. Is this group somehow more dictatorial? Waht would have happened if you just brought your favorite salad because you forgot to buy potatoes?

    Forgot to add that we have experienced the same thing for over 30 years because hubby does not eat 4 legged animals. In France, we even had a card made out for the waiter. Uggg. We use the phrase 4 legged because then we don't have to explain that pork or lamb is meat which is a question we have gotten fairly often. Sometimes people are just ignorant.

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    My husband was bit by a tick and developed an allergy to all meat. It is actually called a mammalian protein allergy. That's the phrase we use, although no one has tried to feed him whale meat yet. . .

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    Senior Member herbgeek's Avatar
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    I am hearing "Others don't get me or my choices. Others look at me funny or question my choices."
    I have noticed over the years that the punk kid you say you were is often in conflict with wanting to be part of a group. You pick something that is anti-whatever culture you are currently part of, then wonder why everyone doesn't make the same choices as you, or feel somehow singled out if someone questions your choice. You want to bring different things to your teaching, then wonder why everyone isn't on board with your ideas or why your supervisor puts so much emphasis on paperwork and following the rules/dates/budget when you are focused on improving the quality of your content (I'm assuming in your mind you see content as more important as I would, but not everyone thinks that way). You choose different spirituality and eating and wonder why everyone isn't on board. I think bringing your ideas is a wonderful thing, don't get me wrong, the world needs you and what you bring, but the downside of being or saying different, is that not everyone is going to be happy with that. Just how it is. This is where your Buddhism can help in learning to be less attached to any outcomes, one outcome of which is being warmly welcomed by people who are different from you.

  8. #8
    Senior Member Sad Eyed Lady's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tybee View Post
    My husband was bit by a tick and developed an allergy to all meat. It is actually called a mammalian protein allergy. That's the phrase we use, although no one has tried to feed him whale meat yet. . .
    Me too. I haven't eaten beef or pork for probably 15 years, but since I was never much of a "meat eater" I haven't missed it. When ordering a meal or choosing something to eat I find it is easier to say "I don't eat meat" than to explain about the tick thing. Sometimes I have a person ask me if I am vegetarian, but it has always been with interest and politeness. If asked then I do just say "I have allergies to beef and pork". No problems. Fast food places don't even blink an eye when I order a cheeseburger with no meat. I had no idea that anyone was judgmental about that kind of thing anymore, and I live in rural Kentucky with not a Buddhist in sight!
    "Like a bird on the wire, like a drunk in the midnight choir, I have tried in my way to be free." Leonard Cohen

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    Senior Member razz's Avatar
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    When I come across these situations and have to wrestle my emotions, I have finally come up with a solution that works for me.

    In arithmetic, 2+2=4, that is indisputable and I know it and use it with confidence. 2+2=5 is not and I know it has no truth or value in any way.
    When I encounter a situation in which I find I am uncomfortable for whatever reason, I ask myself if what has been said or done is indisputably true, then I respond. If what has been said or done is not indisputably true, I stop myself from responding and think carefully before I do. I often simply turn the question back to the initiator. Why do you think that or what could have been done instead, Etc?
    Gandhi: Happiness is when what you think, what you say and what you do are in harmony .

  10. #10
    Senior Member SteveinMN's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by razz View Post
    When I encounter a situation in which I find I am uncomfortable for whatever reason, I ask myself if what has been said or done is indisputably true, then I respond. If what has been said or done is not indisputably true, I stop myself from responding and think carefully before I do. I often simply turn the question back to the initiator. Why do you think that or what could have been done instead, Etc?
    I love that, razz!

    I've been "different enough" my entire life that I'm used to not being part of the mainstream -- in fact, when I am I kind of re-examine lol. But you provided a great explanation of how to hold and approach it maturely. Thank you.
    If Americans expended even a fraction of the energy on civic engagement that we spend on consumer ideology, our democracy would be much healthier. Can you imagine people camping out to vote? -- Charles Roberts, Amherst, Mass., Nov. 25, 2006

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