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Thread: Alcohol and meat

  1. #11
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    I want to say that this was irritation level, not necessarily a big problem. I was really watching my own reaction and feelings throughout the process, even physical sensations, which is a practice I do with my Buddhist teachers a lot. Of course tone is always hard to express on-line, but it was mostly curiosity. I had a good time and felt really comfortable, just interesting in this context to have different views when you expect same-ness. I can see this when other people have discomfort with me because they expect same-ness based on how I look or my age, gender, race and yet there is difference. It is something I rather delight in, not in a way of making people terribly uncomfortable but pushing ourselves to look at a wider range of possibilities, and then come back to where we have some inherent same-ness that is not dependent on what we eat or our religion.

    On the conflict of being a rebel and being accepted, well doesn't everyone want to be accepted a little? I know when I try too hard to conform it doesn't work out well, however I have been working over the last few years at realizing I need people, gasp, and I am capable of being with people, and we are all going to irritate the crap out of each other at times. And also working on how to have a voice that is clear and appropriate? In the workplace I often think I can say more than I do, but then I try and realized that it just isn't the place. I love deep conversations, not always many good places for it. I am spending more time on my talks for our local buddhist group and for the online phone call. I was actually talking about community and how we mirror each other based on some conversations we had in our group. One man was very surprised that when he visited family it was a big deal that he no longer fished (Buddhist precept reason). He didn't see it as a big deal but it became a huge issue.

    As a small note, I said Catholic confessor because this man in particular was referencing his Catholic childhood a lot. It made sense in the context of talking to him.

  2. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by Zoe Girl View Post
    I want to say that this was irritation level, not necessarily a big problem. I was really watching my own reaction and feelings throughout the process, even physical sensations, which is a practice I do with my Buddhist teachers a lot. Of course tone is always hard to express on-line, but it was mostly curiosity. I had a good time and felt really comfortable, just interesting in this context to have different views when you expect same-ness. I can see this when other people have discomfort with me because they expect same-ness based on how I look or my age, gender, race and yet there is difference. It is something I rather delight in, not in a way of making people terribly uncomfortable but pushing ourselves to look at a wider range of possibilities, and then come back to where we have some inherent same-ness that is not dependent on what we eat or our religion.

    On the conflict of being a rebel and being accepted, well doesn't everyone want to be accepted a little? I know when I try too hard to conform it doesn't work out well, however I have been working over the last few years at realizing I need people, gasp, and I am capable of being with people, and we are all going to irritate the crap out of each other at times. And also working on how to have a voice that is clear and appropriate? In the workplace I often think I can say more than I do, but then I try and realized that it just isn't the place. I love deep conversations, not always many good places for it. I am spending more time on my talks for our local buddhist group and for the online phone call. I was actually talking about community and how we mirror each other based on some conversations we had in our group. One man was very surprised that when he visited family it was a big deal that he no longer fished (Buddhist precept reason). He didn't see it as a big deal but it became a huge issue.

    As a small note, I said Catholic confessor because this man in particular was referencing his Catholic childhood a lot. It made sense in the context of talking to him.
    Ah, that does make more sense!

  3. #13
    Senior Member JaneV2.0's Avatar
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    I'm either lucky in my friends and acquaintances, or intimidating as hell, because no one has batted an eye at my lack of religion, my choice not to marry or procreate, my vegetarianism (now a distant memory), or any other deviation from the norm i might pursue. Of course, If we're well-developed individuals, it is to be expected we will have our differences.

  4. #14
    Senior Member catherine's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Zoe Girl View Post
    I want to say that this was irritation level, not necessarily a big problem. I was really watching my own reaction and feelings throughout the process, even physical sensations, which is a practice I do with my Buddhist teachers a lot.
    Yes. Mindfulness in action. Good for you.
    "Do any human beings ever realize life while they live it--every, every minute?" Emily Webb, Our Town
    www.silententry.wordpress.com

  5. #15
    Senior Member iris lilies's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by JaneV2.0 View Post
    I'm either lucky in my friends and acquaintances, or intimidating as hell, because no one has batted an eye at my lack of religion, my choice not to marry or procreate, my vegetarianism (now a distant memory), or any other deviation from the norm i might pursue. Of course, If we're well-developed individuals, it is to be expected we will have our differences.
    For me it is a fortunate thing that my social armor is an ability to not notice when others have simple reactions to whatever I say or do. That probably wins me friends as well as looses me friends.

    It is "fortunate" because I maintain an eqilibrium.

  6. #16
    Senior Member JaneV2.0's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by iris lilies View Post
    For me it is a fortunate thing that my social armor is an ability to not notice when others have simple reactions to whatever I say or do. That probably wins me friends as well as looses me friends.

    It is "fortunate" because I maintain an eqilibrium.
    Maybe that's it--I'm oblivious!

  7. #17
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    I actually could care less about people's food preferences, religion, etc. If someone is coming to my house for dinner and they don't eat meat I make my homemade spaghetti and take out their sauce before I add the meat. I actually prefer to add the meat earlier so the sauce has more flavor from it but I will happily accommodate someone. It is no big deal. I have a single male friend that I have over for dinner about once/week. He has decided to not eat gluten which makes things more complicated. He is also fussy about what veggies he eats due to some previous issues with his gall bladder. Before I used to make the whole meal but now I just cook plain meat and he brings his own veggies and side. It works well. Because he does not have people over to his house occasionally he will buy an entire meal at the deli and bring to our house as his treat. Being flexible helps.

  8. #18
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    I love that Terry, I have definitely brought a lot of food over the years, and worked very hard to find or create recipes that cross the culinary divide. Something healthy and veggie that is also likely to be liked by everyone. A lot of food actually is veggie. I do have to really think when I have someone who is gluten free, and a lot of times when I cook for a retreat we need to adjust to gluten issues. I think what makes me sad sometimes is that when I am not around people who are flexible and understanding then the joy of sharing food is really impacted. I saw my sister for coffee last weekend and she was talking food, what she was buying and making. She made the comment that she is just like mom in talking about food and cooking all the time. I replied that I really am too, I just don't have as many people to talk to about it. It seems when I talk about my food it is different around them. However with my son (who is a meat and seafood assistant manager) we can flow back and forth often. We both wanted to try to make this jack fruit based 'pulled pork', and then found out how expensive a jack fruit is. Too much for an experiment. Meanwhile I will just cultivate more people who I can share the joy of food with, that just happens to not include meat.

    What I will say about noticing little things, having very high sensitivity and generally a broader range of emotional states, well that is something about me that is not in the 'get over it' category. It is not always comfortable for me, but I also think it is very important and rare in this world. No one complains when I am the supportive listener, or when I am calm and competent in a crisis, or when I give a dharma talk that hits them right in the spot.

  9. #19
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    ZG, we love to have people over and sometimes I make the whole meal and sometimes it is more of a potluck. I had a friend that and a Vegan and she loved a restaurant that was not very good but we would go because it was about the friendship. She also was open to eating at other places if there was something she thought would work. I certainly am not going to ruin any relationships over food. My oldest son ate meat until he had his first serious GF when he was 21 and she was a Vegan so he became one. They lived together for 7 years. aFter they broke up he stayed one. Then he met his wife who is from Poland and they love their meat. They will eat meat and cheese sandwiches for breakfast. She is a great cook and it was not long before he was a meat eater again. It goes long with my theory that men are very easily influenced by the woman in their lives.

  10. #20
    Senior Member razz's Avatar
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    Or....
    whoever prepares the meal calls the shots

    Quote Originally Posted by Teacher Terry View Post
    It goes long with my theory that men are very easily influenced by the woman in their lives.
    Gandhi: Happiness is when what you think, what you say and what you do are in harmony .

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