Are you normal?

[catherine]

There's no such thing as normal; only average. "Normal" appears to be a straw man people like to set up and knock down to demonstrate how unique they are.

Having come from an abnormal, dysfunctional home, I was the opposite. I craved the normalcy my friends had, and therefore have had a lifelong desire to fit in and be normal. That's why I was afraid of my DDs response. I didn't like being the "unique" kid in the neighborhood whose dad drank and whose mother divorced and who wore wrinkled uniforms to school. There's still a piece of me that wishes desperately to be that soccer mom.

[ApatheticNoMore]

yes there are plenty of ways noone really wants to be unique (really truly noone particularly wants to come from the most dysfunctional family on the block) but they just might anyway. If they take pride in that it's merely making a virtue of necessity. But I will say this: the vast majority of the time it seems I don't even understand how most people think in some way, it makes little sense to me and I'm always shocked by how different it seems. But some weird interactions (and these can probably be mapped as vastly different ways meyer-briggs types process!)

Anyway if one were to set out to be abnormal in a benign way (not in a pscyhopath next door way, but more in being a bit of a character way) then they only do the rest of us a favor by making life less boring! That's a serious social favor there, it's deadly dull sometimes.

[JaneV2.0]

No, I'm not normal. I'm not on a career ladder clawing my way to the top, I don't aspire to designer goods, I watch little TV, don't go to the movies, or listen much to popular music. I don't go shopping for fun. I don't have children. I'm not particularly spiritual. So if you tell me I'm not "normal", I would probably admire your observation abilities.

Does get a little lonely though. I have a hard time with small talk, since I can really only listen and not participate. There is so little overlap with what I like to do with how most people spend their time. So not much for me to say without their eyes glazing over. With a lot of folks, that's ok though, since they just want to talk.

This is pretty close to a description of me. My mother was a chatter, and that's the kind of people I gravitate to. Saves me a lot of work.

[HappyHiker]

I'm with Herbgeek...I always chose the "road not taken" and that has made all the difference. Plus I'm a member of a 2% of U.S. population minority, so how could I be "normal"?? Normal sounds kind of dull to me, truth told. But, like Jane, I can pass and clean up nicely. You'd never guess my different drum. I'm okay with me, and work on being non-judgemental of others...

[LDAHL]

I would suspect if you asked most people, they would claim to be somehow different from the norm. It's hardwired into the human condition that nobody likes to think of himself as a walking cliche. We're all freethinking nonconformists in that respect.

[razz]

May I suggest that you are interpreting what she said incorrectly? If her family wasn't normal your DD would have had no measurement to compare the BF's family to. She was indicating that they seemed fairly well-adjusted and going about the usual business of life in the usual way.
Am I normal? Yes, I prepare meals, enjoy people but on my terms, love doing things and and curious about just about everything which makes life fun. Am I unique and individual - absolutely which is what is normal, IMHO anyway.

I have to ask her about that, but the take-away was: his family is normal, her family is not.

[catherine]

LDAHL: Yes, there is a tension between wanting to belong and wanting to be recognized for your own gifts and talents, whatever they may be. I agree with that!

razz: Yes, I have to ask her and get clarity on what she meant, but she definitely said that BF's family is "more normal" by comparison to ours. As a mother, I'm just wondering what the heck she meant by that. How are we "less normal" than his parents?

[bae]

I'm normal, for me.

[rosarugosa]

I remember us talking in a HS psych class about different definitions of abnormal. One was to be different from the rest of the group and the other was related to pathology, like abnormal medical test results. I think that is some of what we're talking about here - the former can be rather delightful and the latter, not so much.

[Gardnr]

perfectly normal. Thanks for asking