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Thread: Bromance break-up?

  1. #1
    Senior Member Ultralight's Avatar
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    Bromance break-up?

    It seems a fairly good friend of mine who I met around this time last year in my first social work class has broken up with me! hahaha

    He is full-on SJW -- though a nice enough guy despite his dislike for free speech, due process, and white people.

    Why did we go to Splitsville?

    That racist pampered dough boy Richard Spencer. That is why!

    My SJW friend and I disagreed on OSU's handling of the issue.
    He cited "making people feel safe" and such.

    I cited the good ol' first amendment.

    Then he sent me an NPR podcast about how racists hide behind free speech. (Check it out here: http://www.npr.org/2017/09/04/548471...americans-talk

    Then I sent him a podcast about identity politics & free speech and such by Sam Harris. (Check it out here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q2-G7E5BfGQ

    (And I also said I thought Sam Harris to be one of the most important public intellectuals of our time -- so that probably sank the boat faster.)

    Then poof! Finito! No mas!
    Friendship appears dissolved.

    But isn't this odd?

    There is a rhetorical and ideological war in the house of The Left.

  2. #2
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    People don't know how to tolerate ideological differences anymore without making a total enemy.

  3. #3
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    I'm sorry you lost a friend! I noticed SO much of this during the election--people were actually breaking up with their parents over how they voted, and one of my kid's friends vowed to not let the grandmother see the grandchild anymore because she voted for Trump. I know brothers who stopped speaking, etc- reminds me of the Civil War, actually.

  4. #4
    Senior Member razz's Avatar
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    I am going to differ on this recognizing that I am not as involved with the emotion of the US political scene.
    When others feel really strongly about things, I let it go and say 'let's agree to disagree' not continuing to offer my view.
    I will also say that I know that they are smart and capable individuals as am I and we both are on the same journey. I repeat as necessary until the other party recognizes that s/he is hitting out at air. This too will pass is the end result of whatever is an issue at present unless our fundamental values are in conflict which is a whole different issue and we wouldn't be good friends then anyway.
    As Cicero said, “Gratitude is not only the greatest of virtues, but the parent of all the others.”

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    I knew someone whose good friend became a born-again Christian. After that, the born-again said they could no longer be friends unless the other guy became a Christian too. He declined, and their friendship immediately ended.
    Sad to see all this self-segregation continuing.

  6. #6
    Senior Member iris lilies's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ultralight View Post
    It seems a fairly good friend of mine who I met around this time last year in my first social work class has broken up with me! hahaha

    He is full-on SJW -- though a nice enough guy despite his dislike for free speech, due process, and white people.

    Why did we go to Splitsville?

    That racist pampered dough boy Richard Spencer. That is why!

    My SJW friend and I disagreed on OSU's handling of the issue.
    He cited "making people feel safe" and such.

    I cited the good ol' first amendment.

    Then he sent me an NPR podcast about how racists hide behind free speech. (Check it out here: http://www.npr.org/2017/09/04/548471...americans-talk

    Then I sent him a podcast about identity politics & free speech and such by Sam Harris. (Check it out here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q2-G7E5BfGQ

    (And I also said I thought Sam Harris to be one of the most important public intellectuals of our time -- so that probably sank the boat faster.)

    Then poof! Finito! No mas!
    Friendship appears dissolved.

    But isn't this odd?

    There is a rhetorical and ideological war in the house of The Left.
    welcome to our world. Things have been fractured in the house of
    Right for some time.

  7. #7
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    Yup, I can handle some differences but I also have a limit. The one conservative member of the family doesn't bring things up and neither do I. I don't think differences of opinion would break up a friendship for me, but I will tell you how it is handled definitely could. I have some standards about all this, I do not call names with political figures, their family is off limits, and tone matters. If I am treating someone with respect I expect the same. Too much of the talk has become simply rude, even just people not dropping it when it is clear you are not going to agree. I am not going out of my way to have these conversations right now,

    I also don't really have tolerance for racism or sexism. So if someone doesn't know that and makes a racist joke I will often say something then, if they continue then we are obviously not compatible as friends. Sexism, if it is clear and obvious I just walk off. Not my job to teach that. If someone is thoroughly sexist it is not like hearing something from a woman will change it.

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    It seems a dumb reason to end a friendship but maybe it is how it was handled, maybe people tire of arguing, it's not everyone's idea of fun (if I willingly argue obviously it's what I'm seeking, but really it can be wearying to people if one argues with those who weren't at all seeking that).

    of course as many here have argued it's not about making people *feel* safe, but actually concern for protecting people's real physical safety (well one person has died for that BS already afterall - make that 3 actually).
    Trees don't grow on money

  9. #9
    Senior Member Ultralight's Avatar
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    This is the closest thing to an argument we have had. We agree on the bread & butter issues.

    Though once he and I did "argue" over whether or not it is possible to criticize Islam while still protecting the rights of Muslim people.

  10. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by LDAHL View Post
    There is something pathetic in insisting on perfect agreement with one's friends. Have we raised such a pampered generation that challenges or completion of any kind is seen as a dire threat?
    I wouldn't assume that is the case, and I have no idea what generation people are in. I do know that in many ways people are suffering from a lack of compassion, both offering and receiving. I have had a friendship end because I finally decided they were just not a nice person. I could tell everyone how they are not a nice person, get a lot of sympathy, and move on. Looking back I think a moment of compassion for when a friendship ends under any circumstance is very kind.

    And so many of these conversations here are wearing me down. We have no idea what is going on but a lot of the language is very judgy. This could be an opportunity for extending some heartfelt good wishes, a brief compassion, and then moving on. It could also be a point of brief self reflection. Was there something I didn't notice then but I do notice now?

    So UA, I am simply feeling compassion that you lost a friendship.

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