What would you do? (sorry, really long)

[Chicken lady]

From the viewpoint of a teacher - i see the words "support" and "training" in your job description. If they still NEED you after ten years - it would seem you are not very good at your job. My students move on. Sometimes i cry. But i am not their mom. And even with my children, my roll changes.

[rosarugosa]

Thanks everyone, I appreciate the input. Just to clarify, there isn't really a bad supervisor in the department, at least in my opinion. I do actually have the pleasure of working with a whole bunch of great people! So I don't have to worry about them transitioning to Simon Legree or anything like that. And I would of course be a friend and mentor to them for as long as they might want me. I think I'll let my manager know that I'm OK with whatever she thinks is best, and I'll make sure these employees know I'm a friend and mentor for them regardless of any changes that may come in the reporting structure.

[rosarugosa]

From the viewpoint of a teacher - i see the words "support" and "training" in your job description. If they still NEED you after ten years - it would seem you are not very good at your job. My students move on. Sometimes i cry. But i am not their mom. And even with my children, my roll changes.

Um ouch, Chicken Lady. I've had a lot of employees move onward and upward over the years, and I would like to think I've helped them on their journey. But not everyone is cut from the same cloth, and I had different hiring criteria when I was staffing an admin support team from now when I 'm hiring the leaders of tomorrow.

[Chicken lady]

My point was, if you are good at your job, they will be fine with another supervisor. I wasn't trying to insult you, i was trying to point out that after ten years, they should be able to do their job without specifically you. Because you shoud have taught them what you can teach them by then. Or, they are particularly dense and you are investing too much time enabling them to be in a job they shouldn't have. Which, if you hired them and they are still there when they shouldnt be, also points to you needing to let that part of your job go.

Not saying this is the case! You implied that you are good at your job. I don't have any other way of knowing, but i'm willing to believe you. if you are good at your job - they don't need you, right? They might miss you, but they don't need you.

[rosarugosa]

OK, you are right CL. I'm sure they will be OK without me; it is going to be more of an emotional impact thing.

[razz]

OK, you are right CL. I'm sure they will be OK without me; it is going to be more of an emotional impact thing.

Your personal warmth on each future encounter will reinforce your support of each and every one. Never underestimate the value of positive confirmation and validation that we each need from others.

[catherine]

When I was a supervisor I think my main "fault" as a manager was thinking of my direct reports as friends, and I supported them too much, I treasured my good feelings about them, and about the relationship we had. Frankly those actions and feelings were not "good business" either for the company or for me. It was like the psychiatrist who gets too emotionally involved in a client.

My husband was the same way and I would constantly remind him "your employees are not your 'friends. Their loyalty will only extend as far is it's doing them good to be in your workplace." He always took it personally when an employee quit.

My point is, try to think strictly selfishly. Try to keep your emotions about your direct reports out of it. If you were able to do that, what would you determine is the best thing for YOU. Ask if you are using your fondness for your employees as a security blanket or excuse for not transitioning to a higher level of responsibility? Ask yourself, as bae said, what is important to you in the long term, and which path will get you there?

[Williamsmith]

I like what bae said. Not because it gives you a method for decision making but because it describes for you the innate workings of the mind. I believe the mind is already making the decision, and you likely know which way you are headed yet you ask for advice seeking some reinforcement or a validation.

Your mind has stored all this input over the years of employment and nobody but you can truly know the rightness of your direction. It's true with snap decision making as well as ones which you have a distant deadline. When you act on it you will know the rightness of it. Even though there will be elements that are uncomfortable, you will know that transition is just a different path than staying the course.

I had many supervisors over the years and only one who tried to be both administrator and my friend. He was younger than me by just a few years but we both approached the job in the same way. We were good in the field but the internal rules and regulations were just "suggestions" when they got in the way of doing what was right in a timely manner.

I took assignments without complaint. He made my schedule tolerable. We socialized freely and we grieved together. We became brothers. He was the best supervisor I ever had and he is still one of my best friends. We would each stand in harms way for each other. I do not think that is a bad thing. So I salute your mentoring and your caring.

When I retired, he asked me how I knew it was time. I gave him some of my specific reasoning which included my outside interests, my feeling of wanted to move on to a different chapter, one with less stress, more partnership and quiet and calm. In short I said, I know deep in my heart and it is well with my soul. When it is time, you will know. He thanked me.

He is still on the job. He has a few more years and it will be mandatory for him to leave. Be happy for you, it is a choice. And know..that you will know.