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Thread: Making minimalism a deal breaker?

  1. #121
    Senior Member Ultralight's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ApatheticNoMore View Post
    Hmm DRINKING alcohol and taking almost enough nsaids to kill me is how I dealt with the pain of birth control procedures. Frankly they should have prescribed opiates, it was more than warranted from the high level of pain. But then compared to childbirth probably a pinprick.
    Women are very privileged when it comes to having a smorgasbord of birth control options. I am sorry to hear yours was tough.

  2. #122
    Simpleton Alan's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Williamsmith View Post
    One of my friends had a bad experience. His testicles swelled up the size of cantaloupes. Very painful and he had to keep ice cold beer between his legs for a couple days.
    Quote Originally Posted by Ultralight View Post
    I know two men whom this happened to!
    Reminds me of my fisherman friend who always catches one thiiiiisssssss big, but somehow always gets away.

    It's a small incision, mine was closed with two stitches. The only problem I had was from stepping over a puddle of water the next day, pulled a stitch, a few minutes of discomfort and a pinprick (pun intended) of blood.

    I'll say again UL, if you don't want kids but do want to enjoy an active sex life, take responsibility, man up.
    "Things should be made as simple as possible, but not one bit simpler." ~ Albert Einstein

  3. #123
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    one can certainly read about the scary worst possible scenarios in any medical procedure ... if one likes scary stories I guess. As for people I know, I know a woman who lied about being on birth control to get pregnant with another kid, true she was at least married to the guy, but he didn't want another kid, she really wanted another kid and so he got one anyway.
    Trees don't grow on money

  4. #124
    Yppej
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    Every method of birth control for women carries some risks, and the surgery for women is more serious than the surgery for men. A man who does not want children but will not accept the risks of using birth control himself, instead wanting to impose those risks on the woman, is no egalitarian.

  5. #125
    Senior Member JaneV2.0's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Yppej View Post
    Every method of birth control for women carries some risks, and the surgery for women is more serious than the surgery for men. A man who does not want children but will not accept the risks of using birth control himself, instead wanting to impose those risks on the woman, is no egalitarian.
    I think the person who is most serious about not reproducing should get snipped. And that could be both partners. I was never willing to let someone else have that level of control over me.

  6. #126
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    I agree Jane. I had a tubal ligation at 29 because I knew if I didn't want children with my husband who was wonderful and still is, I wouldn't want them ever. If something had happened to me, he would still have the choice to have children with someone else. Now we are both 68 and glad of my choice.

  7. #127
    Williamsmith
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    Quote Originally Posted by Alan View Post
    Reminds me of my fisherman friend who always catches one thiiiiisssssss big, but somehow always gets away.

    It's a small incision, mine was closed with two stitches. The only problem I had was from stepping over a puddle of water the next day, pulled a stitch, a few minutes of discomfort and a pinprick (pun intended) of blood.

    I'll say again UL, if you don't want kids but do want to enjoy an active sex life, take responsibility, man up.
    Did I say cantaloupes? I meant watermelons!!

  8. #128
    Senior Member Ultralight's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Yppej View Post
    Every method of birth control for women carries some risks, and the surgery for women is more serious than the surgery for men. A man who does not want children but will not accept the risks of using birth control himself, instead wanting to impose those risks on the woman, is no egalitarian.
    Uh... dude.

    All two methods of birth control for men come with risks -- any surgery has risks, such as infection. And condoms are only 85% effective.

    Women have hormonal IUD, copper IUD, the depo shot, the pill, the patch, the nuva ring, tubals, etc.

    Women are very privileged in this regard. Their methods are temporary, low risk, various, and they get to control them. This is one instance where women really have the privilege.

    And couldn't you say that any woman who expects the man to handle the contraception is no egalitarian either?

  9. #129
    Yppej
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    You're the one who doesn't want kids, yet you want to shift the risks of contraception. All the methods you listed have risks. If a woman was the one who didn't want children yet she expected the man to carry the birth control risks even though he would prefer to have children your argument would be valid, but that is not the case with you.

  10. #130
    Senior Member rosarugosa's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by JaneV2.0 View Post
    I think the person who is most serious about not reproducing should get snipped. And that could be both partners. I was never willing to let someone else have that level of control over me.
    Jane, this hits the nail right on the head as far as I'm concerned. I had a tubal ligation when I was 21 because I knew I didn't want any kids and I was quite emphatic about it. DH was my boyfriend at the time. A counselor at the clinic asked what would happen if I ended up marrying someone who wanted kids, and I said I had no business marrying someone who wanted kids. I think there are some areas where partners need to be well-aligned, and reproduction is one of them.

    Quote Originally Posted by Oddball View Post

    Wanting to be with someone who's on the same page as you is a lot to ask if you ever want to learn from and grow with each other. How about just someone who's in the same book? Or on the same shelf? Or in the same library? There might be a bigger world out there.
    The above being said, I don't think a couple needs to be perfectly aligned on every single thing, and I really like this library analogy. I think for me, no kids and no religion were pretty non-negotiable, though.

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