Making minimalism a deal breaker?

[Williamsmith]

Dude. This isn't the 1970s anymore. Back then you might get the clap -- then after a week of antibiotics you were good as new.

Now we have diseases that can kill yo azz! AIDS, Heps of various letters, HPV that causes cancer, multi-resistant forms of VD, and so on.

Can't mess around like we're in Studio 54, bro!

You got me totally wrong UL......#studio54sucks. In 1977 I couldn’t be found within a mile of a disco nightclub. I would have been flying a confederate battle flag at a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert or getting buzzed on second hand smoke at a Doobie Brothers venue. Which means I was much more likely to kiss a girl that was a snuff dipper or eating Doritos until 3am than I was any of those alphabetic plagues you list.

You got my sympathies ....I wouldn’t want to tiptoe through the minefield you describe here. Nope. I don’t want to start over......not unless I can timetravel back and get my 18 year old body back.....less the stupidity.

[ApatheticNoMore]

Both women are public figures. The first is a life coach.
The second woman is a well-know minimalist. That stuff on her bed is most of what she owns, by the way.

people have their preferences, but as for bodies they are both look like fit thin women. I suppose the latter might be too thin for some people's tastes (minimalism I guess - feed her a burger) so if all the women you like intellectually are nothing but skin and bones, I guess that's an odd problem to have as that look (almost thin enough to model clothes) isn't that easily achieved at least not without certain genetics (she works out as well for sure).

[catherine]

Dude. This isn't the 1970s anymore. Back then you might get the clap -- then after a week of antibiotics you were good as new.

Now we have diseases that can kill yo azz! AIDS, Heps of various letters, HPV that causes cancer, multi-resistant forms of VD, and so on.

Can't mess around like we're in Studio 54, bro!

I agree.. my DD is always calling me and talking about this person that has HPV and that person who has something else. I think it's a very real concern.

[Ultralight]

people have their preferences, but as for bodies they are both look like fit thin women. I suppose the latter might be too thin for some people's tastes (minimalism I guess - feed her a burger) so if all the women you like intellectually are nothing but skin and bones, I guess that's an odd problem to have as that look (almost thin enough to model clothes) isn't that easily achieved at least not without certain genetics (she works out as well for sure).

I like anything from thin to thick to plus size. So long as she is healthy.

[bae]

I like anything from thin to thick to plus size. So long as she is healthy.

Lady #2 doesn't look happy, so that'd rule her out in my initial assessment. Perhaps it's simply a bad portrait.

[Ultralight]

I agree.. my DD is always calling me and talking about this person that has HPV and that person who has something else. I think it's a very real concern.

Other than catching a yeast infection from a woman (then giving it to two others who gave it back to me after treatment) I have been lucky.

Though I am sure I got at least one strain of HPV in my wilder days. I get an oral cancer screening every six months from the dentist.

[Ultralight]

Lady #2 doesn't look happy, so that'd rule her out in my initial assessment. Perhaps it's simply a bad portrait.

Yeah, just a bad pic. She has an upbeat personality.

[SteveinMN]

Turns out that her initial enthusiasm was fueled by the fact that my son "checked all the boxes" on her list. But when it came to brass tax, that wasn't enough. There was still a certain je ne sais quoi missing. So she dropped him. And she actually even told him that she's rewriting her list.

My first wife checked all the boxes. They were the wrong boxes.

Not only was there no durable je ne sais quoi; some things I had minimized on the list turned out to be critical. Sometimes you have to experience cold to know what heat is. I rewrote my list before dating seriously again.

DW checks most of the boxes but I've come to believe that no one person should be expected to check all the boxes. The only other person I know who checked most of the boxes for me certainly left a few (different!) blank boxes -- as I did for her (why we're not together; that and her on-again-off-again boyfriend).

Throw out the list. Trust the je ne sais quoi.

I suggest keeping the list. In the rush of a new relationship (especially after a monumental breakup or a long solo spell) it's easy to minimize or completely lose sight of who you are and what you want in a relationship. The list will remind you. The list cannot register that chemistry that long-term partners need to have. But there's a way to build a sustainable fire and there's just throwing logs onto the fire. Understanding/agreement on a range of issues (money, religion, kids, politics, etc.) goes a long way to giving you both the freedom to keep nourishing the fire that started.

[iris lilies]

Studio 54. I am laughing.

[Ultralight]

Studio 54. I am laughing.

Great memories?