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Thread: What is your Purpose?

  1. #41
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    My theory on the space thing is 600 sq feet per person is my ideal minimum. So if there are just two of us, we could make 1200 work. We have done 816 and 750 and it is too tight for us. But that is how we have lived the last 10 years, in too tight spaces--both work at home, so the she-cave idea is a good one for working purposes.

  2. #42
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    Terry, just downloaded the kindle sample for the book you recommended about downsizing the family home.

  3. #43
    Senior Member Williamsmith's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by catherine View Post
    I was speaking to a good friend the other day. She's definitely more of a city lover, and she's moving back to Manhattan next year. She told me that one of the reasons she moved from a 950 sq ft apartment was because it wasn't enough space for her and her SO. So I really am reconsidering how low I really want to go with this. But DH really wants waterfront lake property, and it's hard to find for a low price unless you are willing to buy small.

    Adjacent to the house we really liked there is another house for sale--a real cabin. It's very tiny, maybe that 300 sq ft I'm looking for. I've thought it would be really kind of fun to buy both--and have the little cabin as my office/"she-cave". And the two houses together would only be 3/4s what I would probably get from the sale of my house in NJ. BUT it would double up on the land we would have to maintain as well as doubling up on taxes, so it probably wouldn't be very smart.

    We'll just keep exploring our options.
    Catherine, when you speak of your quest for a home in Vermont I think of an acquaintance. I don't say friend because I don't know him well although a real friend of mine is very close to him. I know him in the way that a reader knows an author. I have read several books of his and I have met him, through my friend.

    To get to the point. He resided in a mountain home made of stone and lacking any of the modern conveniences in the 1980's and 90's. He was perfectly satisfied hunting grouse along with his English Setter , the thickets and crabapple orchards of the southern exposure of the Allegheny Mountains, but tragically his mother was murdered. The ensuing trial and grief from violent death drove him away from his mountain home. He spent some time of reflection in Iceland in a bleak ancient home and then moved to Vermont in the heart of the Green Mountians in the Mad River Valley.

    I believe he is happy there. I believe that one settles where they are happiest even if it is only in their imagination. But I truly hope you get to Vermont.

  4. #44
    Senior Member catherine's Avatar
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    Thank you, Williamsmith. So sad about the fellow who lost his mother so tragically. Mad River Valley is beautiful. We spent a month there on one of our family vacations. My DIL grew up there, and she and my son married at the Mad River Barn. And our vet skis up there every winter. Vermont is a kind of get-away-from-it-all place, for sure. I am pretty sure I'm going to make it up there sooner or later, so thanks for your well-wishes.

    BTW, the day my son/DIL were married, on October 17, 2015, it was a magical day. They had strung little globes with tea lights in the trees. The trees had just about passed peak foliage, but on that day, during the ceremony, Mad River Valley had its first snowfall of the season. Here's a picture.

    IMG_2567.jpg
    "Do any human beings ever realize life while they live it--every, every minute?" Emily Webb, Our Town
    www.silententry.wordpress.com

  5. #45
    Senior Member Williamsmith's Avatar
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    Perhaps you will visit nearby someday.....this is the link to their Victorian Bed and Breakfast and their Vermont Icelandic Horse Farm:

    http://madriverinn.com/

    http://www.icelandichorses.com/index.php

  6. #46
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    There is a couple with 3 kids on the Mr. MM forum that live in a house that is only 750 sq ft. I can't even imagine that. When there were 5 of us our house was 1800 sq ft and that was plenty big enough.

  7. #47
    Senior Member Geila's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by catherine View Post
    Catherine - this is beautiful! Thank you for sharing it.

    When our family of 11 moved into a 1400 sq ft house we thought it was huge! To this day, this is the size that I consider a generous family size. When I hear of a family of 4 having a 4-5K sq ft house, I find it incomprehensible. I just can't wrap my head around it.

    On the purpose thing, I used to think our purpose was supposed to be some BIG thing that was assigned to us by God or the universe and it was our job to figure out what it was and then fulfill it. And that not fulfilling it meant a failure on our part. Failure as a human being. What a depressing and stressful way to live!

    Now, I figure we get to choose our purpose. And yes, it can be as simple as self-amusement! And we can change it whenever we feel like it.

    Right now, providing a loving home to animals who don't have one is a purpose that brings me joy and fulfillment. As does making the most of the life that I have. And that feels like enough. I'm not going to beat myself up for not accomplishing some big purpose; though I did for a long time. Maybe that can be another purpose - shrugging off all these internalized burdens that I've been carrying around like a load of rocks.

  8. #48
    Senior Member JaneV2.0's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Geila View Post
    ...

    Right now, providing a loving home to animals who don't have one is a purpose that brings me joy and fulfillment. As does making the most of the life that I have. And that feels like enough. I'm not going to beat myself up for not accomplishing some big purpose; though I did for a long time. Maybe that can be another purpose - shrugging off all these internalized burdens that I've been carrying around like a load of rocks.
    That's much of what simple living means to me--letting go of societal expectations when they no longer serve us.

  9. #49
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    yea it is a social expectation, or that train of thought runs as one of the strains in the culture, and it can get lodged very deep in the psyche.
    If you want something to get done, ask a busy person. If you want them to have a nervous breakdown that is.

  10. #50
    Senior Member KayLR's Avatar
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    It's an interesting notion of whether it is a social expectation or a personal one, to have a purpose. But, for me, I am feeling like I just do not want to live the rest of my life with any more regret than I already have. I don't want to waste time, what ever that means. That's what I'm trying to figure out.
    My therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what I start. So far today, I have finished two bags of M&Ms and a chocolate cake. I feel better already!

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