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Thread: friendship thing, feeling left out

  1. #11
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2013
    Quote Originally Posted by Zoe Girl View Post
    Thank you all, I am feeling a little bit silly about it now. It seems like not a big deal anymore, but it felt emotional last night. Overall I am emotional around the shootings, I don't talk about it much since I truly can't manage where the conversations end up going. However a few days to a week after a shooting I find that I have been numb and just starting to feel again. I will worry when I feel nothing,
    You're not silly at all. And you're right. It's better to feel something, than feel nothing. You're doing great!

  2. #12
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2010
    Price County, WI
    Currently I am reading Susan and John McFadden's book, Aging Together, which is about "dementia, friendship and flourishing communities". It so happens I am on the chapter Abiding Friendships.

    I marvel that some friendships endure through time, some even become deeper and more important over time. "One way of thinking about this is to say that we do not choose such friendships so much as we receive them as a gift. ...Through these abiding friendships, we are granted good and faithful companions for life's journey, including the journey of aging."

    "For many people, aging becomes a lonely journey as friendships based solely on utility or pleasure fade away." (And illness and death bring inevitable losses.) Based on the thought of Aristotle, the McFaddens assert hope that a friendship based upon virtue can endure, while friendships based on pleasure or utility alone will not withstand trouble and loss so well.

    "A friend can support us in a way that no one else can."

    Which brings to mind a Scottish toast: May the hinges of friendship never rust, nor the wings of love lose a feather.

  3. #13
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2011
    My kids who came by maker faire (she is 27) were commenting on how hard it is already to make friends. Mostly you meet people at work, but it is hard. And they have friends having kids so that takes up all your time for a few years! So my son-in-like is very interested in joining the maker space about 40 minutes away to use tools and hang out and do projects. The maker movement is starting to fill one of the gaps I hope.

    Meanwhile my friend invited me to a daylong retreat, and I actually have things already planned. I think I have a bit of a social life.

  4. #14
    Senior Member catherine's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2011
    When you are visiting for a short period of time (like a weekend), you typically pick and choose your strategy. I have family in CT and when I get a day, I try to drive up there to see SOMEBODY. And I always tell people, "If you take any pictures, DON'T post them on Facebook because I don't want [XXX] to know I was here!" Sometimes you can't do all the things you want to do so you do the best you can, wishing you could see everyone. Just yesterday, my cousin called me and said "Next time you're in CT call me!" And I felt so guilty because I was just there last month and chose a different relative to visit.

    So maybe next time around your friend will reach out to you. I wouldn't take it personally.
    "Do any human beings ever realize life while they live it--every, every minute?" Emily Webb, Our Town

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