I have downsized so everything has its place.

I have other guests over and am glad of their help - some do taste-eating, some move dishes to the table, some simply sit and chat or entertain the other guests or greet them when they arrive. They wait to be included after offering assistance. None keep asking what job they can do. This is my first encounter with this behaviour. I think that she wanted to have the sense of 'family familiarity' so free to do whatever she would do at her home but as her husband said to her, her house is very different in so many ways.

We will work it out somehow but I wondered what I could do to divert this need for a 'job' to do.