how many want to quit?

[Zoe Girl]

So 2 colleagues who love their programs and their schools have told me they are looking for other jobs. I will admit to looking, there is nothing close to what I make in my field right now. I am needing to stay put but the situation is getting more toxic quickly. We were having some improvement, that went backwards.

I am going to read my book about managing up and the non-violent communication book, however I am dealing with people who are running the show but not my direct supervisor. So unless I can send something through him to convince them on some issues I have no clue what to do. I interviewed a great candidate, I was supposed to share her as a floater however based on transportation she is not able to get to other sites than mine. My sup asked for me to write up a document showing why I needed her so he could try and get her for my site. I talked it through with him, wrote up and sent the document in under 2 hours, and then today he came to my site and kept talking to me about it as I was literally walking out the door for my evening class. We also already agreed to work towards coaching out my one struggling staff person, how the heck can I do that when I don't have enough staff? And I can't talk about it on site, it is a very private conversation. They have also slashed our staffing limits for days that we run full day camps, yet there is no written policy at this point. I was starting to calm down and then a colleague I am supposed to be working with told me her staff is not allowed to work for me, at all, for these camps. WTF! I need that in writing.

My next step is to just follow up every conversation with an email to document, then if I have requested something more than once I will copy in his supervisor. Not sure that is going to help at all, but at least I have a trail. I am significantly worried about my exit plan and maintaining my basic salary at this point.

[goldensmom]

I wanted to quit my job many, many, many times. One time on my way home from work I went over in my head how much money I had in savings, how long I could live on that money. I lived in an apartment so no mortgage to worry about, I was single so just me to take care of, I had two cars, one paid for, etc. etc.. I had no plans to go to work the next day. End of story, I did go to work the next day. Stuck it out, retired early with full pension and benefits. I’ve been retired 16 years and now feel that all the problems and consternation was worth it for the peaceful and the blessedness of the last 16 years of my life and hope I for many more. Yes, I wanted to quit but in retrospect am glad I did not but of course that future perspective is hard if not impossible to imagine in the midst of the angst.

[lmerullo]

I worked for one employer for thirty years. There were times of frustration and serious thought of quitting, but I never followed through...I did not earn a pension at this job either, so no real stake in sticking it out. Just over two years ago he folded the business I worked for and although he offered to transfer me to another business I opted to be laid off. I took unemployment, a small severance and continuing consulting work that's very part time. He pays well, no benefits and the work I do is specific and confidential. He could not easily replace me, and I feel committed to him.

However, just a month ago I accepted a job that is currently part time. This new employee is shockingly different in business style and processes. I am learning a lot! They love me and my way of getting things done, learning independently outside of their trainjng, initiative, organization and customer forward / make money on every transaction focus. I think we can both benefit from my background.

All that to say - it took me a long time to find this job. Probably six months. The market doesn't pay for my skills and I didn't need or want entry level. Sounds like you might face a similar situation. BUT - now that I've ventured out I see things differently. A job is truly an exchange of your time and skills for money. Nothing more. It's not my identity as a person, it's not my "me". In hindsight, I should have explored other employment at any point earlier, but my past makes me who I am today and I don't like to live with "what ifs".

[Zoe Girl]

I have been low income, broke, and struggling. It is not fun. I have fairly low expenses other than student loans. No car payment or credit card debt. So I think I need a mantra or a inspirational quote for this. I do think that as far as relationships with my parents at my school I am quite close to them and that makes it hard to be just a job.

Also time to reach out to job coach and financial planner. I have been talking to a friend about when my lease is up and the possibility of relocating. Since I know her already in Salt Lake area that is one place to think about. A lot of Buddhist centers I am interested in are in a couple areas of California. However with grandbaby here I am reluctant to move.

I know I talk about this often, need to let go of the urge to make a difference at the larger level.

[ApatheticNoMore]

A job is truly an exchange of your time and skills for money. Nothing more. It's not my identity as a person, it's not my "me".

+1 loyalty to any particular job just makes no sense, they aren't going to be that loyal to you, it's always good to see if there are better out there (of course if one is actually pretty happy with their job - at least to the extent one can be happy with any J.O.B. - decent boss, sane coworkers, not too long commute, reasonable hours, pay enough to live off of, skills well used, maybe even an occasional raise - then that's a reason to stay, as there is a LOT of bad out there, but otherwise no makes no sense to stay).

[Teacher Terry]

I loved my job with the state but I was able to do exactly what I trained to do in grad school. However, when management would change things would go in a circle from good-bad and keep turning. In the bad cycles I would fantasize about leaving but I wanted my pension. I stayed 15 years and left at 58. The job I have now I love teaching at the university with zero micromanagement at all which is a beautiful thing. I feel very lucky. I have also had horrible jobs where I could not wait to leave. ZG, remember that management will come and go.

[pinkytoe]

I was extremely fortunate in that I worked at a university for an innovative research center and always felt very valued as part of their endeavors. I had some trying days but kept my eyes on the prize of a retirement pension and healthcare. I enjoyed all of my co-workers; it was a congenial atmosphere from day one until the end except for one or two stinkers who moved on. I had complete autonomy to do my role there other than following some bureaucratic rules. From many of the things you have expressed, it does sound like you need to strongly consider other possibilities. I don't understand workplace staff not getting along because I never really had that experience nor do I see any reason to put up with being unhappy for an indefinite period.

[dado potato]

Rosenberg's Non-Violent Communication has interested me for years. I can't tell from your post, Zoe, if you are the only one with the book, or if there have been trainings in NVC involving several of your coworkers.

I am wondering if some of the toxic aspects of your job may be attributable to communication problems. I have been out of the paid workforce for more than 15 years (so I am not claiming to be a great expert), but I would be hopeful of improvement, if the coworkers have embraced NVC techniques. I would be inclined to give the organization lots of second chances, rather than go looking for another job. It may be easier said than done, but I would "say", get into the habits of NVC for all they are worth.

[Yppej]

ZG are there jobs you could get that would pay off your student loans for you? Even if the pay is lower they might be worth it.

[catherine]

I feel lucky in a way that I don't have to "quit." For me to quit I'd simply just stop taking projects. Thanks to my rough couple of weeks with more to come the thought of taking down my shingle becomes tempting. I really love market research. If I could do it in a vacuum and not have to dance to the beat of demanding clients, it would be just fine. I was just spinning over in my head the idea of doing secondary research instead of primary research, where I would do my own study and then write the results and sell it.

But then I think, I'm just kind of tired right now. After next week I should probably be in a better spot in terms of workload. Now that BIL's house will be sold and I'll be just about debt free, maybe I can think about trying to stick to one project a month on average. Right now I'm doing double that.