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Thread: Thinking I might retire on 12/1!

  1. #51
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    Quote Originally Posted by ApatheticNoMore View Post
    I do find a purely self-centered existence without any real appeal, seems rather empty to me,
    This phrase sounds like a negative egotistical description. Self-care is a good thing and not at all empty.

  2. #52
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    My current particular helping profession pays me better than anything else I could find. It puts me 6 figures for income. Now my pastor's wife helping profession was the church getting two people for the price of one and that was ridiculous I agree.

  3. #53
    Senior Member Williamsmith's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SteveinMN View Post

    I'm all for doing what one wants in retirement. Volunteer or not. Recharge your batteries for a year or two or dive right in. Whatever. I'm just against guilting people into performing critical work for nothing. Doesn't matter to me whether that takes place during one's career or afterward.
    This is a very insightful observation of human exploitation. I used to think differently until I emptied myself to the point of exhaustion and compromised my odds of living a full life. Nobody stepped in and told me to slow down...especially not the ones benefitting from my sacrifices. They will ride you as far as you will carry them and then they’ll leave you at the side of the road. That’s the way it is. A volunteer often evolves into a martyr. Self admiration is a poor substitute for authenticity.

  4. #54
    Senior Member flowerseverywhere's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Williamsmith View Post
    This is a very insightful observation of human exploitation. I used to think differently until I emptied myself to the point of exhaustion and compromised my odds of living a full life. Nobody stepped in and told me to slow down...especially not the ones benefitting from my sacrifices. They will ride you as far as you will carry them and then they’ll leave you at the side of the road. That’s the way it is. A volunteer often evolves into a martyr. Self admiration is a poor substitute for authenticity.
    it’s like being on an airplane and the steward instructs you to put on your own oxygen mask before you help someone else.

    Sometimes the best you can do for those you love is put on your own oxygen mask. Otherwise your own life is at risk.

    And by by the way I hate that term “give back” Working your whole life, paying taxes, raising a family and so on gives a lot to society. A well lived Useful life.

  5. #55
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    One day after church when my three kids were very little a friend came over and introduced a new member to my family. She glowingly listed all my husbands many virtuous activities (including directing the choir and playing for services - both for free) and the new member turned to me and asked “and what do you do?” I was not in a virtuous mood. I had gotten three kids under the age of 6 ready for church and brought them by myself because he left early for choir practice and then sat alone while he sat on the piano bench, and was holding the baby while trying to watch the two ambulatory children in a room full of hot coffee and pastries. My sarcasm came out and I said “I wash superman’s cape.”

    my friend embroidered it on it on a fancy sampler and gave it to me for Christmas. It is still hanging by my bed.

  6. #56
    Senior Member catherine's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Chicken lady View Post
    One day after church when my three kids were very little a friend came over and introduced a new member to my family. She glowingly listed all my husbands many virtuous activities (including directing the choir and playing for services - both for free) and the new member turned to me and asked “and what do you do?” I was not in a virtuous mood. I had gotten three kids under the age of 6 ready for church and brought them by myself because he left early for choir practice and then sat alone while he sat on the piano bench, and was holding the baby while trying to watch the two ambulatory children in a room full of hot coffee and pastries. My sarcasm came out and I said “I wash superman’s cape.”

    my friend embroidered it on it on a fancy sampler and gave it to me for Christmas. It is still hanging by my bed.
    haha!! That's great, Chicken lady! Thanks for my morning laugh.
    "Do any human beings ever realize life while they live it--every, every minute?" Emily Webb, Our Town
    www.silententry.wordpress.com

  7. #57
    Senior Member Tradd's Avatar
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    I am nowhere near retirement (late 40s), but I got burned out on volunteering. Did church related stuff for about 10 years before work demands (and a year of customs broker exam study) pretty much forced me to stop doing a lot of what I had been doing. The only thing I have still been doing is choir. One practice a month, and perhaps an extra one or two before Easter, aside from services.

    I love having time to just veg. Or to chat with friends over coffee after a service instead of running around doing something.

    But since I got certified to dive last fall, I've been at church little this summer. It's felt fabulous to do something just for me. I can't explain just why I was so driven to dive every weekend (and sometimes both weekend days), but I struggled with some things and I was determined not to suck! LOL. The quarry closes Sunday and so I'll be back at church the first Sunday in November.

  8. #58
    Senior Member razz's Avatar
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    CL, you are amazing at hitting the nail right on the head in your observations. I have often been peeved to see the accolades given to one partner while the other partner who is the quiet anchor stabilizing the relationship and efforts is unrecognized.

    I did the same to myself actually. One day, I was commiserating with my DH about the load that he was carrying working fully-time and coming home to work the fields. i felt that I should be out working to earn income to reduce his load. He started listing all the contributions (budgeting, meal planning, childcare, garden including winter storage, etc) that I made including my volunteer efforts. He truly saw my contribution as more than equal to his. He felt that my volunteering was the family's contribution to the community. I needed to both hear and understand that. I have passed along that precious gift of his wisdom to many over the years.
    Gandhi: Happiness is when what you think, what you say and what you do are in harmony .

  9. #59
    Senior Member iris lilies's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tradd View Post
    I am nowhere near retirement (late 40s), but I got burned out on volunteering. Did church related stuff for about 10 years before work demands (and a year of customs broker exam study) pretty much forced me to stop doing a lot of what I had been doing. The only thing I have still been doing is choir. One practice a month, and perhaps an extra one or two before Easter, aside from services.

    I love having time to just veg. Or to chat with friends over coffee after a service instead of running around doing something.

    But since I got certified to dive last fall, I've been at church little this summer. It's felt fabulous to do something just for me. I can't explain just why I was so driven to dive every weekend (and sometimes both weekend days), but I struggled with some things and I was determined not to suck! LOL. The quarry closes Sunday and so I'll be back at church the first Sunday in November.
    In my plant socieites and neighborhood work we see people,cycle in and out, and I think thatbis very healthy for individuals and for the organization.

    The founder of our lily society seemed to take it personally when people dropped out of our group. I can think of several women who worked in our plant society in a few responsible positions over the years and then dropped out. I thought it was great that they had thoroughly immersed themselves into the org and became experts and then moved on to something else in their lives, probably to become experts in that.

    This makes for a rich life, IMHO.

    I move in and out of plant/neighborhood work, every few years taking up a new aspect of it.

    There are those people who are stalwarts of the organizations. Our iris society is lead by Mr. And Mrs. Iris, and that is almost all they do, iris. They are very involved in the Daffodil society as well, but that is a shorter committment theough the year. To truly participate in iris, it 6 months of work between early bloom in March and Final activites of plant sales and planting in September.

  10. #60
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    rosarugosa,

    I see that you have made a decision about the most realistic target date for your retirement... and it is a few years into the future.

    In your original post you expressed your liking for co-workers, but emails and meetings have become stressful.

    Some successful people nearing retirement adopt an implicit attitude towards elective work activities: I will do more of what I enjoy, and less of what I do not enjoy. This would constitute a "boundary" that requires some planning and maintenance, and occasionally selling/explaining to co-workers.

    As to the problem of e-mails... there may be solutions. What is the problem? How can you influence the flow of emails that are your problem? I do not know your situation, but often a discipline can be imposed on the number of times in a day an individual employee checks their inbox... and when.

    If there is a problem of receiving emails that waste your time, it is probably common to many employees. Perhaps a "process improvement" could be learned by the originator of these emails!

    Welcome to the "Sick of Meetings Club"! If you find much of the time in meetings is unproductive, then maybe you could offer constructive suggestions to those who think the meetings are necessary. Perhaps there could be improvements by changing the complement of people who are attending a meeting for a particular purpose. (And if it is decided that fewer people need to actually attend, then you might not be one of them... which would mean their meetings is not your problem any more.)

    And invariably there can be improvements in agendas and procedures at meetings. A simple expedient, such as doing away with the seating, can result in the business being conducted with greater dispatch.

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