Originally Posted by
catherine
Wow. This will take at least the weekend to digest. I think there are many different approaches to this:
The Natural: Earth is in a constant state of growth, and by being born we are just doing what every other species on the planet does. Why should we be be any different?
The Metaphysical: We are all particles of the same energy bestowed on us by Divine Intelligence, and there's no way to opt out. The best we can do is to bring our awareness to that fact
The Pragmatic: As M. Scott Peck said in the first line of The Road Less Traveled, "Life is difficult." So what?
The Religious: We are all God's creatures, and denying God's gifts is a symptom of separation from God.
The Mystical: How could one deny just the joy of being alive?
The Existential: What difference does it make? It is what it is
The Fatalistic: We're all f--d.
I think his thesis is shocking, frankly, because it flies in the face of all those approaches, except for the last.
He clearly is looking through a prism I simply can't relate to. I may be biased by the fact that I have never been tortured or bullied or abused by my parents. I may also be biased by what I believe to be a genetic disposition to being happy. I do think we have brain chemistry that makes us more likely to thrive and adapt than others. But I would never make a blanket statement that no one should have children because we are inevitably forcing a terrible experience on them. I just don't think that's true. In fact, I know (in the effable and ineffable way of knowing) that's not true.
I've related my experience of finding out that I was pregnant with my 4th child when I was least prepared. I was overtaxed and emotionally spent with work and home life, we were constantly "in the crapper" financially, my husband was an active cocaine addict, and life just wasn't pretty. Even my mother told me to get an abortion. Any "reasonable" person would have. I had my pregnancy test in an abortion clinic, so my mind was acting "reasonably" at that moment. But something changed in my heart, and I chose to give birth.
I did the "selfish" act of having my daughter. From Day One she has ennobled my life and has provided joy to those around her. Her 4th grade teacher told me she was a "magical child." She has worked for hunger organizations, missions, and animal rights organizations. She has a wonderful sense of humor, she's bright, independent, and loving. I feel I would have been selfish if I had kept her from the world.
Life is difficult, no doubt, but as the Buddhists say, no mud, no lotus. If by chance we wind up in WWIII and my family and I are tortured, killed, maimed, and separated, I'll carry with me all the memories of my life that have carved joy into my being, and which nothing on this earth can take away.