Letting go of stuff

[redfox]

DH & I recently committed to shedding serious stuff, and today I handed over the keys to my darling Honda Insight to my sis. I work from home, her job takes her all over the county. Her '93 Nissan is about dead, we have a paid for Toyota. She has the $$ in savings for a used vehicle, I have a car loan. Still, I let go of it with sadness. She's test driving it for several days, then we'll talk price.

Next up: some of my vintage dishes, my espresso machine, my floor loom, & a fab mid-century table I got at GW for $15, and they sell for 1-1.5k.

OMG...

[BayouGirl]

I admit that my simple life philosophy and my sentimentality clash sometimes. The sentimental value of something just speaks to me. I admit to becoming "emotionally involved" with some of my possessions or vehicles. I have my late uncle's Toyota truck that I love. It is about 30 years old but I love it dearly because it was his. He got it when I was about 16 years old. I remember wishing that I would have love a cute little black truck like that for a sweet 16 gift. So I got my sweet 16 gift about 30 years late and I love it. I also got his 2 feral cats that he cared for.

We live in a small house so our possessions usually have to justify the space that they occupy in our home. But when it comes to sentimental things, sometimes it is hard to let go.

[Blackdog Lin]

Good job redfox. Hopefully you can get to where you enjoy the feeling of "lightness", and think less on the feeling of sadness, when letting your things go.....

[oldhat]

Indeed, sentimental value can be a challenge as you move down the SL path. I encounter it more often as I get rid of more stuff.

In some instances--particularly with books--I solace myself with the idea that I'm sending a book that I've enjoyed out into the world to be enjoyed by someone else, someone who might not have been exposed to it otherwise.

Since I donate pretty much everything, I try to think about someone finding a real bargain at Goodwill or the Salvation Army, something they can really use.

In the case of things you really can't bear to part with, I'd say, don't. After all, the point of simple living is to improve your life, not measure up to some abstract standard of simplicity.

[redfox]

Sooo, driving our paid for, scrupulously cared for 2000 ECHO, with only 110K miles on it, I got T-boned yesterday, in a low speed parking lot accident, by a Jeep 4x4. She backed into me as I was driving behind her. Big ol crunch, and now we wait to see if her insurance totals our gem of a car. Dammit all! Crunched the fender over the passenger tire, the door, and the part below the hood & next to the fender.

I'm heading to my chiropractor & massage therapist for some neck soreness, and we... wait. I am dreading the word that the body damage is beyond PEMCO's value of our car. They don't know, or care, that we change the oil religiously, rotate the tires, check up on every possible problem & practice keep-it-running-for-300K+ miles preventative maintainence.

If it's totaled, I guess we get bought out at their value? This is new to me. Can we claim the car & the check & get it fixed ourselves? I know I am awfulizing & trying to predict the future... It's just so sad! We are so careful with our vehicles, as their value is far beyond their body parts, and how can any estimate factor in the superb condition of her innards & the fact that she's been paid for some time ago?

Well, if we do get totaled out, between that & the sale of my car to my sis, we'll have a moment to assess being carless; not a great option for DH getting to work, or decide to get someone else's used car. Please help me reframe this as an opportunity!

[ApatheticNoMore]

If it's totaled, I guess we get bought out at their value? This is new to me. Can we claim the car & the check & get it fixed ourselves?

Yes. But personally I'd use that money as a downpayment on a new to me car (though I admit it wouldn't break me financially). And this is based on having a car declared totaled. I was rear-ended real hard on the city streets at a red light, declared totalled. I took the money and got it fixed. The car was NEVER the same, nothing but problems from then on out (although the car was maybe never that great to begin with quite frankly! It had way too many major repairs before! But the problems escalated greatly after the totalling, it was just one thing after another after that totalling). Too much money dumped into it, whereas that total payment was several thousand, well on the way to a new used car! I was a fool. I imagine there's a lot of variance but being in a serious body accident can do it's share of damage to a car it seems to me. It may never be the same.

Then to add to this there were the problems with the DMV. Since the car was totalled I had to go and get a whole bunch of inspections on the car done by the DMV. Get a headlights inspection, get a breaks inspection, some of this from private parties, some from the DMV, at a cost each time etc.. Vast amount of hassle. Then from then out out the DMV kind of lost my car records in their computer system. Also totalled status seemed to make it so I had to pay all my bills in person from then on out. So I would get yearly car registration bills and pay them, but all payment would get lost in the DMVs system, I swear there were bills I paid at least 3 times because ALL record would be lost, plus going down to the DMV SEVERAL TIMES and waiting hours to pay these things each time. Yea, you probably won't encounter this, but never again would I fix a totalled car, that is offically totaled in the DMV system in California (maybe in another state, but never would I take my chances with that computer "system" here). I'd take the money and run .... as fast as I could .... to a dealership and buy a new to me car

[katieb12]

In the case of things you really can't bear to part with, I'd say, don't. After all, the point of simple living is to improve your life, not measure up to some abstract standard of simplicity.

That's what I was thinking, oldhat.

And this is a timely post for me. As I'm soon moving in with my SO, I am shedding lots of possessions (or trying to) and finding it pretty overwhelming. I have 30 years of accumulated stuff and I'm trying not to just pack it and move it without making sure I actually want it. Especially since there is very little space where I'm going. Since I don't have to hurry, I'm giving myself permission to take my time. But still, such a big job. I have two areas that I can't seem to get control over - paper and clothes. And I'm determined to conquer them.

[SteveinMN]

If it's totaled, I guess we get bought out at their value? This is new to me. Can we claim the car & the check & get it fixed ourselves? I know I am awfulizing & trying to predict the future... It's just so sad! We are so careful with our vehicles, as their value is far beyond their body parts, and how can any estimate factor in the superb condition of her innards & the fact that she's been paid for some time ago?

Oh, redfox!! I'm so sorry....

I must say, though I wish circumstances hadn't taken you there, I do like the word "awfulizing". I know some people who do it a lot.

Not to feed a negative vibe, but it's going to be hard not to total out a 13-year-old economy car if the damage got anywhere beyond the door skins and fenders. Labor is the same rate for 2000 Echos and 2013 Corvettes. Be aware, though, that if they total the car, the insurance company will try to lowball you with their first offer. That offer will be based on the typical 2000 Echo. If yours either had more options on it or was in particularly good (documentable) condition, you can challenge their offer and push them to come back with more money. Use your service records to establish the mileage on the car, check used-car Web sites like kbb.com or edmunds.com or look at the Kelley Blue Book in the library to start zeroing in on a value, and be as polite but persistent as you can. If you can, it might help to get a second or even third estimate on the damage from a body shop of your choosing, not theirs. It also helps if you're not desperate for the use of a car; waiting typically pays almost-literal dividends because insurance companies know most people are kind of panicked after a serious accident.

I know state laws differ, but here in Minnesota, I've always seen the checks for repairs made out to both the body shop and the owner. I've heard of lots of people elsewhere who took the check and either fixed the car elsewhere or fixed it themselves or didn't bother fixing it at all (if the car indeed was driveable). I don't know if your car will have to pass an inspection in Washington, that may have a bearing on what you have to fix or even if it's worth bothering.

If the car is totaled, you will get a check but they will keep the car for parts/scrap value. You can negotiate to get the car back along with the "totaled" check so that you can either fix it (if possible) or part it out/scrap it. (Of course, that depends on having the skill and the place to work on the car.) The car's title also will be marked, but you probably are not considering resale at this point.

Good luck with this, redfox. And remember that you're not at fault in accidents like this. Stand up to the other driver's insurance company!

[redfox]

I was right; our car is totaled. I am pretty upset about it right now... DH has a much better attitude. We'll see what we get for it. I'll be surprised if it's much over 2K. Dammit all... this is one of those times when it seems that just as we're getting a bit ahead, we get jumped.

[Blackdog Lin]

I'm so sorry redfox. Sending good vibes your way for a resolution that is happy for you.....