difficult feedback to boss?

[Zoe Girl]

So on the passive voice, I think it is part of me trying not to cause more conflict or appear assertive/aggressive. There is one colleague who is very direct and appears to never get in trouble, she follows up every conversation with her supervisor with an email and says it is for documentation. I do follow up the important things, and when it relates to the expertise of his supervisor include her, but am also aware of how the tone is. I also wonder about saying things as 'I put the donations in the trash per our conversation (on X date or by email)'. It feels defensive or blaming? I would most likely at work simply say I did something, rather than I was told to. If I was questioned on it then I would bring up how or by who I was told to do it.

The smart thing, honestly I just notice when people seem to be put off by me. It isn't something I try to do, in fact I try to be aware of when I put people off, but I also just talk the way I talk. We have all kinds of smart, sports smart, memorizing things smart (I am terrible at that), artistic smart. I do not consider myself better than other people, just really tired and lonely at times. The conversations I feel are important to getting my job done (looking over the details of camp budget, asking for staffing hours allotted instead of number of staff, sounding out new ideas) are at odds with the simply following what they want me to do all the time. I am guessing the new administration will start to reach out to our level of employees about mid-year or end of year and ask us what has been done before or what is successful. It takes 1-2 years to get our voices back with new administration.

In any case thank you all for having this conversation with me, now off to clean the desk and make the lists!

[JaneV2.0]

Wouldn't it be nice if you had a job where you could just be who you are, and didn't have to tie yourself in knots to please a succession of bosses? It must be exhausting.

Frankly, your job sounds like a lower circle of hell, with long hours, ever greater responsibility, constant job insecurity, and mediocre pay.

In my opinion, pink collar jobs are often like this; maybe the field isn't for you. I know it wouldn't be for me.

ETA: My father, who had editorial experience and wrote beautifully, used to say "Tell them what you're going to tell them; tell them; tell them what you told them." That sums it up nicely.

[ApatheticNoMore]

Wouldn't it be nice if you had a job where you could just be who you are, and didn't have to tie yourself in knots to please a succession of bosses? It must be exhausting.

Frankly, your job sounds like a lower circle of hell, with long hours, ever greater responsibility, constant job insecurity, and mediocre pay.

In my opinion, pink collar jobs are often like this; maybe the field isn't for you. I know it wouldn't be for me.

I think pink collar jobs might sometimes have better work life balance though, though Zoe's job isn't one of those as her hours are grueling. But sure do a man's job, but be expected then to do a man's job which means they assume you have NO OTHER responsibilities in life but to be a breadwinner ((the stereotypical man's role afterall - wife supposed to do everything else). For me that means that I'm always on call, I check my phone on weekends for work responsibilities and take my laptop with me if I leave home for any distance for any period of time, and that's male dominated but still soft white collar work and so fairly coddled comparatively. I'm not insane enough to get into the madness that seems to be some blue collar work which is real male dominance in a way no office work is - though not always of legal citizens (the kind of crazy in my bf's previous blue collar workplace was beyond all measure - and the hours sometimes 12 a day and always Saturdays as well - even I thought he should move to something more in a white collar direction, because even I knew it didn't have to be *that* bad, and he got such a job and is happier).

[Chicken lady]

Zoe, “I put the donations in the trash per our conversation (on x date or by e-mail)” is exactly right. And sufficient.

i recently had a conversation with the educational services specialist about some parts of my teaching style. (One thing I love about my job is that she is a genuine resource, not an opportunity to go hang yourself. - I have REQUESTED observation on two occasions) I told her that I understood the suggestions she was making about how I communicated with a particular student, but that it was difficult for me to speak to older students in the way she suggested because it felt condescending to me. She assured me that it was an effective and positive tool with anyone, and I should try it. (and even though my brain said “not with me lady, my gut reaction is spare me the b*llsh*t) I did. And it was extremely effective in that situation. So even though I still feel like I am treating my student disrespectfully, he apparently does not, and my change is allowing him to get what he needs from the class - which is the important thing.

[Reyes]

Zoe, if I recall correctly you've had difficulties with several supervisors and administrators over the year. This may be something you want to work on with your career coach. You can't change other people and there might be something in what you are doing that would be beneficial to you to change.

On another note, I'm wondering where you got the idea that you are smarter than others to such an extent that it makes others uncomfortable to communicate with you. You mention that you use big words and such that can be off-putting to others but that has not been my experience in reading your posts.

[Yppej]

I hope the other opportunity comes through for. Assuming you aren't your best self as others have suggested, it can be hard to be your best in a demoralizing environment. You describe high turnover and at least one person that you know lookimg elsewhere, so probably others as well you are not aware of. I worked for too long for a company that burned through a ton of good people, and am so happy to not be there anymore. It's easy to blame the employee for a flawed organization's culture. Only if you run into the same issues at another job would I question your abilities, and even then I would ask first is this line of work the right fit for you, or are you like a good woman who keeps falling for the same type of wrong man.