my day just got significantly worse

[frugalone]

That was my goal, originally. Until I found out that library work is not about "loving to read" or "loving books." At least not anymore. It would cost me $20K+ and it's very very difficult to find a job around here (depressed area).

I also was enrolled in a master's program here and dropped on 2x. My anxiety issues make school very difficult for me, even though I was a good student.

And thank you for hitting the nail on the head: I don't have the energy to endlessly reinvent myself. This is my third career; I've been working since I was 18. Fourth career if you don't merge journalism and PR (both involved writing). This is why I feel so lost.

I keep thinking of the line, "I'm empty and I'm aching and I don't know why" from Simon & Garfunkel's "America."

Masters in library science might be the degree if you want to continue in libraries (you work in a library if I recall). Just throwing that out there, perfectly ok if you don't want to (and yes any 18 unit path would be quicker), as I don't think we all have the energy to endlessly reinvent ourselves our whole lives while keeping up all other demands in life. So merely an idea.

[Teacher Terry]

Do you l have a lot of years left to work or are you near the end? There are some low dose meds that work great for anxiety. Many people develop anxiety as they hit menopause age due to all the changes in our bodies. Yes I understand reinventing yourself later in life. I had a MSW but after one of my co-worker's was killed by one of our clients I went back to grad school at 40 and changed careers yet again. I had 3 kids at home and wanted to be there for them. I have had 4 different careers. I did not even start my BA until I was 31.

[San Onofre Guy]

I think that I will exit in May 2018 after 25 years at age 55 1/2

[frugalone]

Still feeling crappy about my friend leaving our workplace. I know I should be happy for her and the opportunity she has, but I just feel miserable and am finding it hard to even talk to her or meet her eyes when we speak.

She seems to be bubbling over with joy. Not that she was a crabby sort, ordinarily. Maybe it's my imagination.

[ApatheticNoMore]

You don't know, I mean honestly unless you for whatever reason have a great knowledge of whatever position you are getting in before hand (say just switching departments maybe, if you know everyone in the new dept already) then what a job will actually be like is unknowable. I left my prior job for a "better" more ambitious position. I told my old coworkers it was awesome, it was at first. Now I'm looking for work. I'm not saying never take (well thought out strategic) risks and go for what you want or anything, just we don't always know who really has it better in the end. Of course if she has up and moved to Cleveland there may be better opportunities going forward regardless (but maybe higher cost of living). Of course it is natural to miss someone you like who leaves.

Sure it is probably overly competitive to feel jealous of her (and for all that it's not like she won a few million in the lottery or something, she merely got another job and jobs are seldom perfect no matter), but we feel what we feel, and it is a competitive world.

[frugalone]

That's true; I don't know. It's like social media: you only know what you see.

I guess I'm a little miffed, too, because she just had a meeting with my boss about using some sort of calendar software. It's something I'm perfectly capable of doing/learning, but the only kind of work I get to do around here is grunt work. Like putting the little plastic letters on the signboard outside the library when the hours change. Instead of updating them on the web site. Everyone knows I can do this type of work. I'm vastly underemployed. I really need to boost my confidence to the point where I can find something that better meets my skills.