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Thread: Hard to Get

  1. #1
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    Hard to Get

    What is the longest someone has pursued you before you agreed to go out with them?

    In my case it was 2 years.

  2. #2
    Senior Member Ultralight's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Yppej View Post
    ...2 years.
    What? There must be a story.
    I came from a real tough neighborhood. I put my hand in some cement and felt another hand." -- Rodney Dangerfield

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    My aunt held out for 3 years with one of her car pool mates. Sometimes a person gets jaded about relationships and has to be won over.

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    Senior Member Ultralight's Avatar
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    Truthfully, I don't really get pursued I don't think.
    I came from a real tough neighborhood. I put my hand in some cement and felt another hand." -- Rodney Dangerfield

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    Senior Member catherine's Avatar
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    I spent two years in high school madly in love with one particular guy, unrequited. The second two years I switched gears and aggressively pursued another guy, who was also a best friend and confidante. Unrequited. Years later learned that they were both gay. Back then, no one came out--especially in high school. Sure wish they had been able to--would have saved me a whole of teen angst.
    "Do any human beings ever realize life while they live it--every, every minute?" Emily Webb, Our Town
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    Senior Member Ultralight's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by catherine View Post
    I spent two years in high school madly in love with one particular guy, unrequited. The second two years I switched gears and aggressively pursued another guy, who was also a best friend and confident. Unrequited. Years later learned that they were both gay. Back then, no one came out--especially in high school. Sure with they had been able to--would have saved me a whole of teen angst.
    You're a natural gabe!
    I came from a real tough neighborhood. I put my hand in some cement and felt another hand." -- Rodney Dangerfield

  7. #7
    Senior Member iris lilies's Avatar
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    Ok, I will respond to UL’s other post in the context of yppej’s new thread.

    I agree that continuing to “pursue” cool aethiest woman may be a good strategy. Back in the day, I liked to see calm confidnce in men. That comment about “alpha male”made me cringe. OTOH I do observe this in dogs, but more about Alpha Bitch and jockeying for that position. The boy dogs are pretty chill together in our household.

    So, to “pursue” would mean seeing her at events and making an effort to talk with her to show her you enjoy her company. Be steady about it. Do NOT let “alpha men” push you away.

    I havent been “pursued”for a long time, maybe it was three months before
    i warmed ip to the idea. An important old boyfriend asked me out in front of others for the first tiime so I sort of felt had to say yes. Then he would come to my workplace, public library, and kind of hang out a bit without being creepy but still. He made me uncomfortable but that was, looking back, an interesting sort of, ummm, tension. Then I told him I didnt date married men (he was separated) but that was just an excuse.
    But still he persisted. Then we did go out for a while, but I limited it to twice a week, that is all I could take of that kind of intense thing. But then it got warmer, and from then it was a very good relationship.
    Last edited by iris lilies; 11-7-17 at 11:31pm.

  8. #8
    Senior Member SteveinMN's Avatar
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    About a week for me, I think.

    I don't play hard to get. I don't like that behavior in others, either ("The Rules"). I can understand the person I'm "pursuing" being in another relationship at the time (or recovering from the end of one). But I never waited around for them. If I found out they were available at a time I was; great. If not, oh, well.
    If Americans expended even a fraction of the energy on civic engagement that we spend on consumer ideology, our democracy would be much healthier. Can you imagine people camping out to vote? -- Charles Roberts, Amherst, Mass., Nov. 25, 2006

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    seems it could quickly turn into creepy stalker behavior too. If someone keeps persuing etc. after enough no's the thoughts turn not to love but to restraining orders.
    If you want something to get done, ask a busy person. If you want them to have a nervous breakdown that is.

  10. #10
    Senior Member iris lilies's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ApatheticNoMore View Post
    seems it could quickly turn into creepy stalker behavior too. If someone keeps persuing etc. after enough no's the thoughts turn not to love but to restraining orders.
    Well, that is true. I guess I was just thinking that right now, UL needs to be friendly as friends would be. Dont give her a reason to say no. That is, if she comes back to an atheist event.

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