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Thread: What's with all these sexual allegations coming to light?

  1. #1
    Senior Member CathyA's Avatar
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    What's with all these sexual allegations coming to light?

    Seems like so many people have come forward about so many celebrities, etc. Seems weird. Some of this stuff happened 30-40 years ago. What's going on?
    It bothers me that so many women who were supposedly sexually assaulted many years ago, didn't say anything sooner. They were probably afraid they would ruin their careers. But that's not an excuse, is it?

    And it seems like all the women are totally believed, without checking things out......and the accusers are immediately believed to be deviants.

    I'm not saying it's right to do any of the things these people have been alleged to have done........but it does seem weird to me that so many people are now coming forward.

    And I've noticed that some stories don't make sense....like the one about the mother who's son was so excited to meet Kevin Spacey in a bar. He told Spacey he was 21 and not 18 and Spacey bought him a bunch of drinks and then put his hand down the boy's pants and asked him to come up to his room. The mother said the boy said Spacey tried to rape him (at the bar). He got out of there and didn't even go up to Spacey's room.
    I bring this up because some of the stories out there just don't make a lot of sense.

    What's going on with all of this happening all at once?
    These stories are awful and I just can't believe that so many would stay quiet for so long.....and these men could get away with such disgusting behavior for so long.

    The world is just going crazy.

  2. #2
    Yppej
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    It reminds me of the pedophile priest scandal which had a cascading effect.

    If you look at statistics you will see that sexual assault, including of children, is much greater than many people realize. I'm surprised there haven"t been more people coming forward. Maybe they don"t because people like you doubt them.

  3. #3
    Senior Member Teacher Terry's Avatar
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    Some of the stories are true and some are not. I read that the guy that used to lead the special crimes unit in NYC said at any one time they would find out after investigating that anywhere from 10-40% of the accusations would be proven to be false. I am interested in seeing what WS thinks.

  4. #4
    Senior Member CathyA's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Yppej View Post
    It reminds me of the pedophile priest scandal which had a cascading effect.

    If you look at statistics you will see that sexual assault, including of children, is much greater than many people realize. I'm surprised there haven"t been more people coming forward. Maybe they don"t because people like you doubt them.
    People like me doubt them? I wouldn't say I doubted them I'm just questioning why so many are coming forward and how some of their stories don't make sense.

  5. #5
    Yppej
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    Sure you are doubting them.

    It is much more common for a victim to be silent due to stigma and shame than for someone to make a false allegation. One estimate is there are 39 million victims of childhood sexual abuse in the U.S., never mind the adult victims. But there are not 39 million plus false allegations out there.

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    The first person stands alone. The 2nd person starts the movement. It is safe to tell the truth when many come forward. The victims have each other now for support and encouragement and the more that come forward the less stigmata for the victims.

    The (mostly) white powerful men must be stopped! If the sentence hurts bad enough the crimes may slow way down. I for one am proud of my fellow women for coming forward and I admire their strength to do so. I can't even imagine how difficult it is to come forward let alone live with the pain for years and years......

    I loved Ashley Judd's story about Weinstein...."yeah, when I win an Oscar in one of your movies" made him stop moving on her. How bold was she!!!! and so young when she did that.

    I'll stop because crimes against women and children are a soapbox for me. You can't imagine what I've seen on the OR table in the past.

  7. #7
    Williamsmith
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    I’m not going to claim I am THE expert on sexual assault, although I have qualified and testified as an expert in Commonwealth Court. There is a certain amount of political correctness that affixes to these crimes. An investigator who suggests that an allegation is false better have his/her ducks in a row. There are reasons for false accusations. People sometimes use them to cover for being caught committing sexual indiscretions. Young women who live in religious environments with strict parents can decide its easier to make the allegation than to admit “weakness.” Some can use it as a tool to manipulate separation/ divorce or child custody issues.

    But stats are incomplete simply because most investigators realize making the charge- don’t charge decision does not require challenging the veracity of the accuser. It just requires saying we don’t have a viable case. Saves face for all involved.

    That said, I’d put my experience at about fifty fifty. I’ve convicted people who have been sentenced to life in prison for horrible sexual crimes.....and convicted for some for false accusations. The statute of limitations has been expanded as we have learned about the depth to which the harm represses memory and the courage to report. To trouble is, physical evidence is ephemeral. 30-40 years is a long time.

    The polygraph exam is probably used more often on sex crimes than any other. But that’s another can of worms.

  8. #8
    Senior Member CathyA's Avatar
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    Yppej, You've misinterpreted my post. I always really try to analyze things correctly. I understand completely what Gardnr said........but what's wrong with making sure statements are correct?

    And Williamsmith brought up issues I think about, concerning motive. Not everyone who is accused is guilty and not everyone is innocent.

    I wish there were a better way to determine the truth.

    I brought up the example about the 18 year old and Spacey because what the mother said didn't make sense.......that she was accusing Spacey of rape, which technically didn't happen. Yes, "fondling" can be traumatic too, but lets stick to facts.

    And if I say, "Why did the boy say he was 21 when he was 18, then accept lots of alcoholic drinks from Spacey at the bar".........then you would probably say I was being unfair and biased. I'm not in any way condoning or excusing what Spacey did........I just look for the truth.

  9. #9
    Senior Member razz's Avatar
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    As someone who was sexually abused, family members would not believe it when I sought help. It violated their beliefs about the perpetrator and they simply couldn't handle that. Denial is the enemy as happened with any other crimes that comes to mind. The perpetrator then believes that one is immune and the story continues. For years afterwards, sometimes one's whole lifetime, one sees her or himself as a sexual object first and foremost; an intelligent capable valuable being is way, way, way down the line somewhere. Sexual abuse makes humans into personal toys and objects, not functioning human beings, for the powerful. It is a horrible crime. Yes, there may be some claims that are false but so many don't get reported because the first seeking of aid was denied or disregarded.

    The best defence, IMHO, is for each child to know that her or his body is sovereign and NO ONE has any rights to it or access to it without informed consent. Children should be taught that from birth.

    Cathy, I am with the others who strongly disagree with you about your views. Your post is important as a trigger for discussion.

    If you ain't experienced it, you have absolutely no understanding. Do you understand what it is like to be a low-caste member in India, a black child in ghettos, a Puerto Rican without water or electricity, some one who has undergone the shooting in Las Vegas? Don't deny the terror and the harm of feeling helpless, unheard and afraid.

    I believe that 50% of females are abused from an early age onwards. Males may be similar. My dear DH was so distressed to hear me say that as it was totally outside his comprehension. As facts of the pedophilia of the priests came to light, he started to feel truly pained as do so many of those who have no comprehension of doing such things. He felt helpless not knowing what to do about it. Many choose to deny the problem to relieve their pain.

    Imagine, a judge last year told a young complainant in a case of rape that she should simply have kept her knees together to prevent the rape. It was her fault. He was subsequently removed from office with the public outcry. There is legislation about mandatory sensitivity training for the judiciary that passed the first stage in Parliament but is being held up in the Senate because some senators feel it is not such an evil that it needs further training. Talk about denial!
    That said, my life changed with the challenges that I have faced. I am a different person with greater empathy and compassion fighting for changes where I see the need and opportunity. I became and am a warrior for good and that is my life's goal and purpose.
    As Cicero said, “Gratitude is not only the greatest of virtues, but the parent of all the others.”

  10. #10
    Senior Member CathyA's Avatar
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    razz....I understand what you're saying. (And by the way, you have no clue what I have or haven't experienced). This issue is so complex. Maybe I'll start another post about instinct and how we try so hard to suppress it. (And how we teach little girls to be coy and dress in a provocative manner). I'm in no way saying that probably most of the women coming forward haven't been molested. But I also like to think about what brings us to this place in "civilization".
    I fear my trying to understand so many issues that come up in a "civilized" society comes across as my agreeing or disagreeing with something.
    I think some have over-reacted or misunderstood what I am trying to say.

    I'm so very sorry what you experienced, razz. Please believe me that I'm trying to sort through lots of issues that are happening without being incorrect or unfair to anyone involved.

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