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Thread: Question - how many close friends of colour do you have? OR How to be a friend

  1. #21
    Senior Member JaneV2.0's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by iris lilies View Post
    I dont see how Jews count as being “of colour” but whatever. If we get to count Jews, can we count gay people? Then, I can rack up quite a few virtue points.

    Before they moved we had as friends/frenemies a gay couple, both black men. That should count for double points.

    They were friends because they were super gardeners and we socialized in many plots, traded plants, attended the same parties. They were enemies because they always backed The Garden Diva who really seems to lead gay men around by the nose. Sometimes one is closer to one’s frenemies than friends. The frenemies occupy time and resources, space in your head.
    It strikes me it's a diversity thing. I grew up in a neighborhood with lots of Catholics and Jews. At school, we took turns saying a prayer before lunch (what a throwback!) and we were quite ecumenical. I also think it's interesting that my SO has Jewish forebears, when I expected to and don't. The spice of life.

  2. #22
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    I also do not have a lot of close friends outside of family, just no time for much socializing with my long commute and the early bedtime routine I have.
    +1 yea commuting 2 hours a day, intend to be more social don't always have the energy but probably will try again, and my boyfriend is just a white guy (sorry about that - he's technically half Hispanic due to South American ancestry, but you have to know Latin America has a lot of white guys without a drop of non-European blood, blue eyed south Americans pretty much)

    When I started my current job 7 months ago I came in determined to be friendly with everyone, but have connected most with a woman from Egypt who is of the same generation and interested in ideas and global issues. A lot of the white local yokels are cliquish and IMO superficial.
    Yes I was determined to be friendly but it's as cliquish as junior high, junior high all over again, are you "in with the in-crowd?" But it's not about race or anything, it's equal opportunity. Truthfully I think on some level I don't like nor trust WHITE collar people. How about that for color discrimination? But not everyone, not even all the white collar sorts are bad or anything it's just everything that really matters there depends on fitting in with an in-crowd, junior high all over.

    Many of my ancestors are Jewish.
    If you want something to get done, ask a busy person. If you want them to have a nervous breakdown that is.

  3. #23
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    When I lived in the MIdwest I had many friends of color. Then I moved here and the first thing I said are: "Where are all the black people?" Here the minority is HIspanic and they are among my friends. Also when I went to college many of the students are Asian and that was my first experience being friends with people from that group. When I lived in upstate NY there were no other races besides white. So I think it really depends on where you live if you have the opportunity to be friends with people from other races.

  4. #24
    Senior Member The Storyteller's Avatar
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    I have a number of friends, some of whom are people of color and a few from various countries, but only 3 I would consider "close" friends. Meaning I would pretty much tell them anything. One I've known for 50 years, the other two for 35 or so. All three of them are white, so I have zero advice for you.

    In my predominantly white Texas high school, though, all of my good friends that I hung out and did pretty much everything with were Hispanic or black except two.
    "There are too many books in the world to read in a single lifetime; you have to draw the line somewhere." --Diane Setterfield, The Thirteenth Tale

  5. #25
    Senior Member JaneV2.0's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Teacher Terry View Post
    When I lived in the MIdwest I had many friends of color. Then I moved here and the first thing I said are: "Where are all the black people?" Here the minority is HIspanic and they are among my friends. Also when I went to college many of the students are Asian and that was my first experience being friends with people from that group. When I lived in upstate NY there were no other races besides white. So I think it really depends on where you live if you have the opportunity to be friends with people from other races.
    True. The PNW has long been a white-dominated culture. I used to love going to San Francisco, getting on a cross-town bus, and hearing all the different languages spoken (once a language major...) Now, with IT and all, we're coming around.

  6. #26
    Senior Member bae's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by iris lilies View Post
    I dont see how Jews count as being “of colour” but whatever.
    In relatively recent historical times, Jews were viewed as "different" than "Caucasians". And suffered terribly because of it.

  7. #27
    Senior Member JaneV2.0's Avatar
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    I used to argue that Jewishness was a religion and not a separate ethnic group, but according to books I've read lately, because they were a relatively isolated group, they can easily be traced genetically. Ashkenazi separate from Sephardic, even.

  8. #28
    Senior Member iris lilies's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by bae View Post
    In relatively recent historical times, Jews were viewed as "different" than "Caucasians". And suffered terribly because of it.
    Sure, but the thread title specifically asks for "friends of colour." I am a tiny bit "on the spectrum" so I take things literally. Being on the spectrum might give me some cred in victimology, so I will play that up and maybe earn some points in being my own friend if we really are not interpreting this as color thing but more as a diversity thing.

  9. #29
    Senior Member bae's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by iris lilies View Post
    Sure, but the thread title specifically asks for "friends of colour."
    Well, the whole definition of "of colour" and "white" needs a bit of thinking...

  10. #30
    Senior Member bae's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by JaneV2.0 View Post
    I used to argue that Jewishness was a religion and not a separate ethnic group, but according to books I've read lately, because they were a relatively isolated group, they can easily be traced genetically. Ashkenazi separate from Sephardic, even.
    Then there's the interesting case of the Lemba people of Zimbabwe/South Africa...

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