Originally Posted by
SteveinMN
As I read these posts, I kept thinking that I've learned "pain is not a stopping point".
At this point I see nothing to lose with sitting down with DH and, as Float On said, putting things in "I" terms. Perhaps you'll find the combination of words that either clarifies the situation in your mind -- or in DH's. If it accomplishes nothing, you've spent a little time but are you any worse off?
Ditto with the free counselor. While the first meeting may not have inspired, perhaps talking with her will identify common threads or insights which now are hidden behind layers. In the end, it's free except for your time. Until you can find another counseling resource, I don't think getting what you can out of this one really hurts.
I agree with the others that at least applying for disability income is worthwhile given the length of time it takes. Is it possible DH was ever covered under a private disability policy with one of his construction employers? Do either of you belong to any affinity groups ("American Construction and Home Engineers Society") from which you could get benefits even as simple as a discount for counseling or a free hour with a lawyer/paralegal? Does Your County offer anything like that? Is that kind of research something DH could do at home while you work?
I feel for you, frugalone. You and DH have been pummeled with double- and triple-whammies. I get that, after a while, it seems impossible to get up again. But it does not sound like you can continue for long on the current path. Time to make at least the progress that you can.