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Thread: 2018: Thinking ahead?

  1. #21
    Senior Member SteveinMN's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Teacher Terry View Post
    If your DH is anything like mine he will probably be the biggest obstacle. When I lived alone my place was immaculate. Enter my DH who can take things out but not put them away.
    +1 on this.

    Though she will deny it vehemently, DW is a bit of a tornado in the house. Utensils left out after use, drawers opened but not closed fully (who does that??), coat/shoes/phone/her mail left wherever they came off,... Without agreement on the goal of no clutter as well as where things will go to prevent the clutter, I foresee a long skirmish.
    If Americans expended even a fraction of the energy on civic engagement that we spend on consumer ideology, our democracy would be much healthier. Can you imagine people camping out to vote? -- Charles Roberts, Amherst, Mass., Nov. 25, 2006

  2. #22
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    Steve, your DW sounds very much like my DH. I never had crumbs in the silverware drawer until I married him.

  3. #23
    Senior Member SteveinMN's Avatar
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    Over the last week or so I, like many others, have been exposed to the idea of New Year's resolutions. Years ago I used to make the usual poorly-defined unmeasurable resolutions everyone makes: lose weight, exercise more, spend less money, get rid of clutter,... Now I make fewer but more definable resolutions; really more like goals. The measurement (success) is defined at year end by whether or not I made progress.

    But it occurred to me after this long year that the typical approach to resolutions (including my goals) comes from a position of deficiency. That is, it almost completely ignores progress made toward similar goals in the past year (or longer):

    - Sure, I want to lose weight. But I should not ignore the fact that over the last year I lost around 40 pounds.
    - I want to exercise more, but I already am more active on a daily basis than I have been for years.
    - Spend less money? Don't we all wish! But real life sometimes is not that way. We had significant medical expenses this year. All turned out okay but that was several thousand dollars that was not in the budget that we managed without going into debt (though it did dent the rainy-day fund noticeably). Undoubtedly, next year will bring other expenses we don't expect (or expect as high as they are). We track what we spend and correct it when we don't think we're getting our money's worth.
    - Get rid of clutter? This year I seemed to cross a bridge about trying to reuse/recycle everything I no longer could use, realizing that the effort to find a non-landfill home for everything came at its own cost in energy (and sometimes money, which is not limitless). Further, the energy expended in "home-finding" could have offered a better return had it been spent in other areas of my life. I still don't like tossing stuff in the trash and I still am careful about what comes into my life because I know that, at some point, it has to leave my life. But I no longer allow it to be clutter for any significant length of time.

    So...progress. Rather than feel like I'm starting from Square 1 on New Year's Day, I'm building on what I achieved the previous year. It feels much easier to succeed.
    If Americans expended even a fraction of the energy on civic engagement that we spend on consumer ideology, our democracy would be much healthier. Can you imagine people camping out to vote? -- Charles Roberts, Amherst, Mass., Nov. 25, 2006

  4. #24
    Senior Member rosarugosa's Avatar
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    I like the way you are framing that, Steve. I think the traditional resolution setting often sets us up for failure and self disappointment. Let's face it, we will always be works in progress (at least until we die), so progress is definitely to be celebrated.

  5. #25
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    last year I think my resolution was starting a new job and I did and gladly (finally some less dead-end work). Well that job lasted like 11 months through ever increasing hostility (which I experienced as abuse) whose reasons I would guess at, but could never really figure out (not a lot of communication going on - more often just on the receiving end of rage outbursts).

    So it's hard to make any resolutions but looking for work. Maybe I will meditate and journal as well. Can I do that when I'm working, not meditating no, I was too tired AFTER working 8 hours and commuting another 2 and if I try to do it before work I consistently find myself choosing sleep. But I will gladly give it up when I have a job, but for now. I lost like 10 pounds last year (but maybe gained a couple back over the holidays - I won't lie ) and lifted weights 2 days a week at the gym which seemed to be the only reason I lost weight really, I still am trying to go to the gym twice a week.
    If you want something to get done, ask a busy person. If you want them to have a nervous breakdown that is.

  6. #26
    Senior Member iris lilies's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ApatheticNoMore View Post
    last year I think my resolution was starting a new job and I did and gladly (finally some less dead-end work). Well that job lasted like 11 months through ever increasing hostility (which I experienced as abuse) whose reasons I would guess at, but could never really figure out (not a lot of communication going on - more often just on the receiving end of rage outbursts).

    So it's hard to make any resolutions but looking for work. Maybe I will meditate and journal as well. Can I do that when I'm working, not meditating no, I was too tired AFTER working 8 hours and commuting another 2 and if I try to do it before work I consistently find myself choosing sleep. But I will gladly give it up when I have a job, but for now. I lost like 10 pounds last year (but maybe gained a couple back over the holidays - I won't lie ) and lifted weights 2 days a week at the gym which seemed to be the only reason I lost weight really, I still am trying to go to the gym twice a week.
    Egad, ANM, I had to read this twice to see that you are now out of a job after nearly a year of having a new Job.

    Is the boyfriend still in the picture?

    well, here’s hoping 2018 brings you a job that isnt entirely dead end work.

  7. #27
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    I was at a dead-end job for several years, but because while it might have been relatively stable, it wasn't going to get me anywhere, while I working that job I did job searching on and off. And I finally found what seemed like a more promising job, which I started at the very beginning of the new year of 2017, but that only lasted 11 months of putting up with ever increasing angry and erratic behavior until well ... I don't have to anymore. So I'm now I'm unemployed and looking for work again. I am still with my boyfriend.
    If you want something to get done, ask a busy person. If you want them to have a nervous breakdown that is.

  8. #28
    Senior Member catherine's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ApatheticNoMore View Post
    I was at a dead-end job for several years, but because while it might have been relatively stable, it wasn't going to get me anywhere, while I working that job I did job searching on and off. And I finally found what seemed like a more promising job, which I started at the very beginning of the new year of 2017, but that only lasted 11 months of putting up with ever increasing angry and erratic behavior until let's just say I don't have to anymore . So I'm now I'm unemployed and looking for work again. I am still with my boyfriend.
    Wishing you well in finding a job in 2018 that's more satisfying for you, ANM!
    "Do any human beings ever realize life while they live it--every, every minute?" Emily Webb, Our Town
    www.silententry.wordpress.com

  9. #29
    Senior Member rosarugosa's Avatar
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    ANM: I hope you find a job that you absolutely love in 2018. That would be amazing, and I think it is long overdue.
    I feel like I've got a new opportunity to figure out what I want to be when I grow up, and some of my other goals will flow from there. I wanted to and am already spending more time with my mother and sister. I want to get more walking time in, but I've been wimping out due to the frigid weather. I think I'll do OK with that one when the weather improves a bit, since I really like to walk.
    I'll have quite a bit of home improvement work to do once the weather gets better.
    Decluttering is a good winter project in the meantime.

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