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Thread: Being fat = being a failure as a person?

  1. #21
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    I can't stand to watch shows such as Intervention, my 600 lb life or hoarders either. I used to like Clean House but that show usually the homes were not disgusting but just tons of clutter everywhere. Hoarders I find disgusting because everything is so dirty and unhealthy.

  2. #22
    Senior Member SteveinMN's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by pinkytoe View Post
    At staff meetings and events, the food offerings were always "healthy"
    I'm trying to take the next step and bring "healthy" treats to potlucks and the like. The bonus is that I know there will be something there that meets my low-carb/high-fat way of eating (besides the ubiquitous wooden "baby" carrots and some sad-looking bell pepper slices sitting next to a tub of dill dip). I don't fuss much with vegan/gluten-free/dairy-free etc. because there already are restrictions on the temperature I can maintain for the food, eatability (many places we go are now specifying "finger food"), expense, etc. It would be much easier to buy a bag of pretzels or bake some brownies. But I have to think I'm not the only person who sees a sea of carbs at these get-togethers and wishes there was something there that was tasty and accommodating.
    If Americans expended even a fraction of the energy on civic engagement that we spend on consumer ideology, our democracy would be much healthier. Can you imagine people camping out to vote? -- Charles Roberts, Amherst, Mass., Nov. 25, 2006

  3. #23
    Senior Member iris lilies's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SteveinMN View Post
    I'm trying to take the next step and bring "healthy" treats to potlucks and the like. The bonus is that I know there will be something there that meets my low-carb/high-fat way of eating (besides the ubiquitous wooden "baby" carrots and some sad-looking bell pepper slices sitting next to a tub of dill dip). I don't fuss much with vegan/gluten-free/dairy-free etc. because there already are restrictions on the temperature I can maintain for the food, eatability (many places we go are now specifying "finger food"), expense, etc. It would be much easier to buy a bag of pretzels or bake some brownies. But I have to think I'm not the only person who sees a sea of carbs at these get-togethers and wishes there was something there that was tasty and accommodating.
    re: healthy treats to potlucks
    Yesterday was our iris society’s Christmas party. We had the usual overblown food event, to which I took a large green salad. It was totally consumed. And, many of the greens came from our garden, as did the radishes and red onions.

    But even better: we always play bingo at these events and people bring “small” gifts to use as prizes. I brought a bag of greens from our garden, washed and ready to eat. I marked them “picked this morning.” They sat on the prize table along with all of the cheap crap from China and a few nice things. Someone chose our bag of greens early in the game. Yay!

    i was extremely lucky with my bingo cards and got to pull 4 items early in the game. I took home two poinsettias, a book, grabbed a book for a friend, and DH got a great tube of hand lotion. I avoided the gift bags full of plastic junk and chocolate.

  4. #24
    Senior Member Geila's Avatar
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    Okay, Iris lilies, you said go ahead and speak my mind and annoy you guys. Here goes.

    Guys, please don't turn this thread into a thread about "eating healthy." We all know what "eating healthy" means even if we each have our own version of it low-carb/vegan/veggie, etc... This thread was created specifically to discuss a very complex and disturbing issue in our culture. I appreciate the many responses that spoke to that and the discussion that followed of us trying to gain new understanding of it. I am deeply disappointed that not one single person has commented on the link that I posted about an actual person's experience of this issue. Did no one read it? Did no one care? It's hard for me to imagine reading that post and not having a reaction to it. Having people read it and have no reaction to it speaks to a lack of compassion and empathy that is difficult for me to fathom.

    If you guys don't want to go deeper into this issue by trying to understand someone who lives it, that's fine. Disappointing, but fine. Let the thread die. But please don't turn it into a pointless discussion about "eating healthy." That will piss me off. In fact, it has clearly already pissed me off. Don't piss me off anymore.

  5. #25
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    Geila, did not see any link in your initial post, but rather discussion of a tv show I have never seen as we don;tget cable.
    Our culture idolizes thinness and punishes anyone who is not thin. It is very difficult to maintain any positive self esteem if you have a BMI over 25.
    I agree with you that our culture is completely biased towards the thin, but I don't like words like "fat" and so was disturbed by your thread title, and I agree, this is not a thread about healthy eating.
    Some of us who agree with what you are saying probably would prefer not to spend a whole lot of time down the rathole that is our culture's pleasure in body shaming.
    So you may not be getting a lot of responses because people would prefer not to go there, since we live it all the time.

  6. #26
    Senior Member rosarugosa's Avatar
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    Geila: I admit that I had not read the linked blog post, but I've gone back and read it now, so please don't be pissed at me anymore!
    As a thin women, I sometimes struggle to know if I even have a place in this type of conversation. Insulting other people for being fat is awful behavior on a par with making fun of someone for being too thin, old, ugly, etc. I used to get the too thin stuff when I was younger, mostly for the lack of a bust. That doesn't really happen anymore though (and I still don't have much of a bust), and it definitely seems like heavier women are more likely targets for insults/ridicule.
    I will admit to sometimes wondering about fashion choices, such as the current leggings trend, when not paired with a longer tunic top. This is a look that flatters almost nobody, certainly not anything I would wear, and when I see a really obese women dressed like this, I wonder about her fashion judgement, and then I feel bad and think I should perhaps be applauding her body acceptance instead. I would never say anything demeaning to another person about his or her appearance though. I like to think of myself as at least a somewhat civilized grownup.

  7. #27
    Senior Member iris lilies's Avatar
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    I read the blog post on the link, and followed it up with her story of engagement, selling both houses, buying a house with her fiance. Happily Ever After, but I am sure she suffers from being fat.

    If I dont provide the reaction that you, OP, expect, that is not my problem.

    sometime in the past couple of years we talked sbout this issue here, and I remember an episode of Louis C.K.’s tv show being discussed.

    He is now disgraced, of course, but back then we could talk about him. Anyway, he had a fat girl on his sit com show talk about what it was like dating. She had some interesting points. For one, she said that she could often flirt with and count on positive reaction from the best looking man in tne room because he, and everyone else in the room, knew it was all in good fun, he would never take her seriously. But in the Louis CK show she also berated Louis as an out of shape balding guy who refused to hold her hand in public, his own view of his status in relation to her was warped.

    You can find this segment on Youtube.



    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KFdWcNJ17YY



    Edited to add correct link.

  8. #28
    Senior Member iris lilies's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tybee View Post
    Geila, did not see any link in your initial post, but rather discussion of a tv show I have never seen as we don;tget cable.
    Our culture idolizes thinness and punishes anyone who is not thin. It is very difficult to maintain any positive self esteem if you have a BMI over 25.
    I agree with you that our culture is completely biased towards the thin, but I don't like words like "fat" and so was disturbed by your thread title, and I agree, this is not a thread about healthy eating.
    Some of us who agree with what you are saying probably would prefer not to spend a whole lot of time down the rathole that is our culture's pleasure in body shaming.
    So you may not be getting a lot of responses because people would prefer not to go there, since we live it all the time.
    That show is on network tv, NBC to be exact. Just sayin.

    edited to add

    I know, it is strange to have an interesting, well reviewed tv drama that appears on network. That hasnt happened on years.

    I havent watched it, am waiting for a dvd compilatiOn from the library.

  9. #29
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    I read it, I'm pretty normal weight but somewhat irrational on the subject and I know it (thought I was overweight even when I got down to a super low 98 pounds so .... never gonna be entirely objective on body image I think). That's all by route of saying why I don't have much to add.

    Life is hard for those who don't meet societies ideals in various ways, I guess we can just hope we check off enough boxes of what the world wants to still have a decent life ...

    He is now disgraced, of course, but back then we could talk about him. Anyway, he had a fat girl on his sit com show talk about what it was like dating. She had some interesting points. For one, she said that she could often flirt with and count on positive reaction from the best looking man in tne room because he, and everyone else in the room, knew it was all in good fun, he would never take her seriously.
    this is silly, unless you are simply a head-turning *stunner* look wise and thus fine can date a young Brad Pitt or whatever your thing is, people tend to pair up with those who are fairly equal to them look wise.
    If you want something to get done, ask a busy person. If you want them to have a nervous breakdown that is.

  10. #30
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    Quote Originally Posted by iris lilies View Post
    That show is on network tv, NBC to be exact. Just sayin.

    edited to add

    I know, it is strange to have an interesting, well reviewed tv drama that appears on network. That hasnt happened on years.

    I havent watched it, am waiting for a dvd compilatiOn from the library.
    Sorry, misunderstood where the show was located. We watch almost no tv anymore so yes, I am surprised I can actually get this show.
    We never made the switch from analogue, and only have one tv that will get network now, and we rarely turn it on.

    I should watch it!

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