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Thread: and now he is cancelling my plans,...

  1. #11
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    What are there consequences of NOT spending the grant money? I mean, besides losing it. Will it affect getting grants in the future?

  2. #12
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    Zoe Girl, if English is his second language - what is his cultural background?

    dh has worked with people from a lot of cultures. In some of them “yes” means “I heard you talking” just like a lot of Americans will start with “ok” which doesn’t mean what you said is okay. (“I can do this.” “Ok, send me a proposal.”) Another commonly used word is “so” maybe you should treat “yes” as “so.” “So, send me a proposal.” Especially if he is saying “yes and” because that was one that drove dh nuts. He would have conversations that went like: dh “We’re ready to have you paint this blue.” Respondant “Yes, and we can shop for paint.” Which meant “I am not going to start painting or even buy any paint because I don’t agree with blue.”

  3. #13
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    He is from Hondurus and Mexico, we do a lot of cultural work in our department which doesn't solve everything but i thought should help. I have worked hard to be direct and clear, and i have also had my buttons pushed so much by him. I think there is an underlying lack of confidence and an issue with supervising people who don't need as much supervision. I dont think he has ever led a training or a large scale meeting, so he probably doesn't know how many tasks i have done in the last couple weeks to prepare for this, I didn't check in every detail (and yes i did send him information, it is his job to know the grant) with him, there is no time for that. He just cancelled our meeting that was for today and forgot i was arranging to borrow space, so i need to call the place and tell them we are not coming. I dont want us to look flakey and just no show. And that is a big reason to keep the training, could this be a cultural issue?

    I just know i am spending time on backtracking the emails and waiting on him to call me rather than putting the final touches on the training to make it great, and encouraging attendance. I am actually pretty nervous and could have used some support, like reading all the information i sent about my plans.

  4. #14
    Senior Member iris lilies's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Zoe Girl View Post
    He is from Hondurus and Mexico, we do a lot of cultural work in our department which doesn't solve everything but i thought should help. I have worked hard to be direct and clear, and i have also had my buttons pushed so much by him. I think there is an underlying lack of confidence and an issue with supervising people who don't need as much supervision. I dont think he has ever led a training or a large scale meeting, so he probably doesn't know how many tasks i have done in the last couple weeks to prepare for this, I didn't check in every detail (and yes i did send him information, it is his job to know the grant) with him, there is no time for that. He just cancelled our meeting that was for today and forgot i was arranging to borrow space, so i need to call the place and tell them we are not coming. I dont want us to look flakey and just no show. And that is a big reason to keep the training, could this be a cultural issue?

    I just know i am spending time on backtracking the emails and waiting on him to call me rather than putting the final touches on the training to make it great, and encouraging attendance. I am actually pretty nervous and could have used some support, like reading all the information i sent about my plans.
    I am confused. From your last paragraph it sounds as though you think this training is going to happen. Is that right?

  5. #15
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    Quote Originally Posted by iris lilies View Post
    I am confused. From your last paragraph it sounds as though you think this training is going to happen. Is that right?
    I still want it to, I heard from the grants accountant yesterday that they would be reaching out to me. I waited all day. I just left a message for my supervisor asking to talk and find a way to work this out. I haven't contacted all the providers to cancel yet, I have a clear yes in an email and evidence that I have been sending him information. The reasons for the cancellation is that he does not think he received the proposal and he is not familiar with the grant. It seems a lot to cancel on providers based on a brief email from him and no follow up conversation, of course this could be me making a mistake. No stranger to that!

  6. #16
    Senior Member Teacher Terry's Avatar
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    That guy is a lousy manager.

  7. #17
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    Just heard from a colleague that he lied directly to his boss. She was in a meeting with both of them and overheard when his manager asked directly if he had followed up with everything I needed. He said he had talked to me and we had a check-in planned for later today. Oh no! I have not heard from him since yesterday about 9:30 am. I waited all day and then left him a message this morning. So I had actually been ready to contact her because I had not heard from him, I was emailing her to do a brief check-in and see if he was going to contact me when I got a text from him saying he would talk to me later. I told him that it had to be before 3 based on my schedule for the rest of the day and evening.

    There is no guarantee that this will not come back on me, stranger things have happened. But I was very brief and professional and non-emotional.

    Edited to add! Thank you so much for letting me keep posting as the situation progresses. It is really helping me stay calm and professional and out of talking more than necessary to others at work.

  8. #18
    Moderator Float On's Avatar
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    Better to rant at us than to anyone involved! The things that go on...I just shake my head. And I just lit a candle for you at gratefulness.org it named JAM0706 if you want to meditate while looking at it!
    Float On: My "Happy Place" is on my little kayak in the coves of Table Rock Lake.

  9. #19
    Senior Member iris lilies's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Teacher Terry View Post
    That guy is a lousy manager.
    Agreed. He isnt long for this job if he is directly lying.

  10. #20
    Senior Member razz's Avatar
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    Sorry, ZG, but if the money is available and must be spent, how can anyone cancel it if the grant monitor approves. It makes no sense. I think that you need to cc someone with the history info today but don't know who unless it is the grant monitor who is independent of your supervisor but perhaps someone higher up. You will take the hit if money allocated is not spent in my view. Stop being the nice guy.
    As Cicero said, “Gratitude is not only the greatest of virtues, but the parent of all the others.”

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