Page 2 of 2 FirstFirst 12
Results 11 to 14 of 14

Thread: Entering An Interesting Phase of A Relationship-Dealing With Impending Job Loss

  1. #11
    Senior Member SiouzQ.'s Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2010
    Location
    Central-ish New Mexico
    Posts
    1,534
    He spent the day on his own, licking his wounds, as I had to work. I think he'll be okay; he needs to redevelop a thick skin in his quest for a new job. I'm sure it won't be the only rejection he gets; I think he is just out of practice. This last stint was about three years of making pretty decent money up here in the mountains at a tiny software company.

    It is so interesting how people have different concepts of money. I was brought up in a middle to upper-middle-ish class with parents who were very cautious about everything. He was raised in an abusive poverty-stricken home, his parents were prescription drug addicts. His father used to beat him with a belt. He was then basically tossed out and thrown away as a teenager by the father and sent off to juvenile hall in the 1970's because his dad just didn't want to deal with him. So at a very young age he had to learn how to parent himself and figure out how to negotiate the world - he was lucky in that back then the juvenile system actually worked and helped him make better choices than turning to a life of crime, which was were he was headed. At some point as a young adult he went to Control Data Institute and learned computer programming and IT stuff and has been working in that field since the 80's.

    Anyway, he actually does listen to me sometimes about how to be frugal. My job is to let him figure it out WHILE being supportive but not to be too judgmental. We keep most things quite separate though have talked a little about moving in together. He wants to buy a house here when he gets out from under the foreclosure, but obviously he needs a job first. The idea would be that I would pay him rent for my share but not be involved in any of the financial stuff of going into a purchase together. It took me so long to build up my nest egg and emergency fund that I will NOT put it in jeopardy, even for love.

  2. #12
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2011
    Posts
    5,478
    I will NOT put it in jeopardy, even for love.
    Very smart of you!

  3. #13
    Senior Member JaneV2.0's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2011
    Posts
    15,489
    Quote Originally Posted by Yppej View Post
    Ebay wouldn't have health insurance.
    Doesn't the ACA still apply?
    It's criminal that health insurance is still tied to employment--or that it even exists, IMO.

  4. #14
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2010
    Location
    SoCal
    Posts
    9,656
    There is the ACA. While never great it is being made worse by Trump though, California had to apply surcharges to the silver plans and they now cost an arm and a leg without subsidy (the thing about being unemployed is there is no way to predict if you would qualify for a subsidy or not depending on when you find work - earn too much because you work much of the year and no subsidy - earn nothing and no subsidy either I think as they want you on Medicaid). I'm unemployed and was looking at plans, really expensive. But then I saw OFF-EXCHANGE plans are somewhat cheaper so I feel a bit better (they still aren't cheap). Then you are of course foregoing any subsidy at all. It may not be the first thing an unemployed person thinks of is that they are going to be hit hard with healthcare but they are. Luckily I'm healthy so out of pocket expenses should be nothing much and having a deductible of a few thousand except on basics is likely to work out ok, with health problems though it could add up.

    He spent the day on his own, licking his wounds, as I had to work. I think he'll be okay; he needs to redevelop a thick skin in his quest for a new job. I'm sure it won't be the only rejection he gets; I think he is just out of practice. This last stint was about three years of making pretty decent money up here in the mountains at a tiny software company.
    yea, it's hard. Every last latent social phobic tendency gets activated for me (luckily if he doesn't have any of that stuff to deal with but there is still the non-social anxieties of not having an income). And actually I was interviewing as recently as last year, it's like we have to be constantly doing it almost. 1000 times over I wish I had some kind of career with a little job security, well maybe that is what I will work toward long term, although it's hard to say what it would even be but there are careers you can find work fast in I think.

    Anyway, he actually does listen to me sometimes about how to be frugal. My job is to let him figure it out WHILE being supportive but not to be too judgmental. We keep most things quite separate though have talked a little about moving in together. He wants to buy a house here when he gets out from under the foreclosure, but obviously he needs a job first. The idea would be that I would pay him rent for my share but not be involved in any of the financial stuff of going into a purchase together. It took me so long to build up my nest egg and emergency fund that I will NOT put it in jeopardy, even for love.
    I hear you, personally I way overdo the financial security for psychological reasons and because I'm been unemployed time and again and don't tend to get work instantly, of course that's partly because it's often in recessions (I have been at jobs long term too, it's not always chaos), so I'm in a better financial position than my bf but it's my bf who talks more about buying a house than me, I'm always keeping money in cash for the next bout of unemployment and if not in cash at least in something liquid, only exception is the 401k can't liquid that till 59 or so ). So yes it's true with housing only going up it can make sense to buy, but day to day survival no matter what happens is always of more urgent priority in my thinking. But it allows me to have a cool head when unemployed even though I definitely don't prefer it, and deal with the social anxiety as the anxiety of whether next months rent gets paid isn't immediate.
    Trees don't grow on money

Thread Information

Users Browsing this Thread

There are currently 1 users browsing this thread. (0 members and 1 guests)

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •