Practical strategies to cope with being alone?

[Ultralight]

She is doing those kids no favors.

I agree with you, big time.

[iris lilies]

I think it’s possible to be simultaneously against procreating but to be accepting and loving toward an already existing child.

Exactly.

Kids age 10 and upcan be pretty independant, yet are open for family fun.

It is those 25 year old part time grocery store workers who live with their moms that are the problems. You can see the 10 year old now, today, but cannot project where he will be at 25.

I also know a few moms who had serious committed relationships but didnt live together until their children launched, age 18 or 21. Then they married the long term boyfriend. I think that can be a very workable path, too.

[Ultralight]

I also know a few moms who had serious committed relationships but didnt live together until their children
launched, age 18. Then they married the lojg term boufriend. think that can be a very responsible path, too.

Exactamundo.

[Ultralight]

On another note: My ex-wife is remarrying today, probably now.

[iris lilies]

On another note: My ex-wife is remarrying today, probably now.

Oh. Well. I wish you well today.

[Ultralight]

Oh. Well. I wish you well today.

Oh, I wish her well. She has the life she always wanted.

[SteveinMN]

I actually don't think you have to buy into the family 100%. I know a few single moms who keep their mom life and their romantic life totally separate. They plan to launch their kids and then invest in a relationship (move in, marriage, etc.) Every woman is different. Not all expect a boyfriend to play house.

Back when I was dating (ten years ago) the single moms kept their romantic lives separate from their kids -- until things got more serious. Then (usually around three months in if we lasted that long) I was introduced and asked to take part in family events and outings that included the kids (of course, mom and I still went out by ourselves but families do family things together). If you get to the points where the two of you are expected to appear at events together because you're "a thing" and you're staying overnight at each other's homes, that will happen on "dad's weekends" only so long.

When I became grandma's husband I was told that I did not have to feel that I needed to participate as fully in the grandkids' lives as grandma did; it was my choice. Since I was never a dad before this, it's all new to me, and sometimes it's a bit of a challenge. But I do it and, I think, do at least a passable job and am reaping the benefits of grandpa-hood. Come to find out that some of my wife's peers/friends have husbands who don't participate in the stepkids' (or grandkids') lives much at all. I think one key difference for me in this situation is that the grandpas who qualify on a biological basis are either otherwise occupied or just not reliable. I'm the grandpa that shows up, and that is noticed -- by more than the grandkids.

tl;dr You may not have to "buy into the family 100%" but if your romantic partner has kids who want to be part of her life, even as adults, you'll have to buy in at more than 0%. So you might want to consider your "rules of engagement" before you start dating many single moms.

[Ultralight]

Back when I was dating (ten years ago) the single moms kept their romantic lives separate from their kids -- until things got more serious. Then (usually around three months in if we lasted that long) I was introduced and asked to take part in family events and outings that included the kids (of course, mom and I still went out by ourselves but families do family things together). If you get to the points where the two of you are expected to appear at events together because you're "a thing" and you're staying overnight at each other's homes, that will happen on "dad's weekends" only so long.

When I became grandma's husband I was told that I did not have to feel that I needed to participate as fully in the grandkids' lives as grandma did; it was my choice. Since I was never a dad before this, it's all new to me, and sometimes it's a bit of a challenge. But I do it and, I think, do at least a passable job and am reaping the benefits of grandpa-hood. Come to find out that some of my wife's peers/friends have husbands who don't participate in the stepkids' (or grandkids') lives much at all. I think one key difference for me in this situation is that the grandpas who qualify on a biological basis are either otherwise occupied or just not reliable. I'm the grandpa that shows up, and that is noticed -- by more than the grandkids.

tl;dr You may not have to "buy into the family 100%" but if your romantic partner has kids who want to be part of her life, even as adults, you'll have to buy in at more than 0%. So you might want to consider your "rules of engagement" before you start dating many single moms.

Well, a minimalist single mom asked me to get a drink with her before the next minimalist meeting. I decided to go ahead and have the drink with her.

[SteveinMN]

Well, a minimalist single mom asked me to get a drink with her before the next minimalist meeting. I decided to go ahead and have the drink with her.

It's just a drink. It's not the rest of either one of your lives. Why not? If nothing else you two could be friends. Not every male-female interaction has to end in dating/sex/living together/marriage.

[Ultralight]

It's just a drink. It's not the rest of either one of your lives. Why not? If nothing else you two could be friends. Not every male-female interaction has to end in dating/sex/living together/marriage.

Oh, I know. I have lots of female friends. I am open to that, especially since she is a minimalist too.