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Thread: Practical strategies to cope with being alone?

  1. #91
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    hmm I thought by the world drives people to depression and anxiety it would be more the everyday stuff, the stressful jobs that take all our time, the money and job worries, the stresses of urban life, the time and other pressures that make social connections hard to maintain. Before I was let go from my last job I was reading a book called "Overwhelmed", and that is how I CONSTANTLY felt (was commuting a couple hours a day as well) - constantly feeling overwhelmed. (and yea I may well end up back to that type of crazy again - and that's the better scenario)

    I guess I think the day to day experience of life can in many cases contribute to anxiety and depression. And yes fine a political system that can't actually deal with real problems and that seems completely beyond insane does not help, and there is no other way to describe D.C. now, and people do know this. But all the problems in the world that one only reads about are probably just information overload.
    If you want something to get done, ask a busy person. If you want them to have a nervous breakdown that is.

  2. #92
    Senior Member Ultralight's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ApatheticNoMore View Post
    hmm I thought by the world drives people to depression and anxiety it would be more the everyday stuff, the stressful jobs that take all our time, the money and job worries, the stresses of urban life, the time and other pressures that make social connections hard to maintain. Before I was let go from my last job I was reading a book called "Overwhelmed", and that is how I CONSTANTLY felt (was commuting a couple hours a day as well) - constantly feeling overwhelmed.

    I guess I think the day to day experience of life can in many cases contribute to anxiety and depression. And yes fine a political system that can't actually deal with real problems and that seems completely beyond insane does not help, and there is no other way to describe D.C. now, and people do know this. But all the problems in the world that one only reads about are probably just information overload.
    My list was long and on the macro level. It would have gone really long if I went micro too. But what you said is largely true. Meaningless work with no real power or agency, bills to pay, chores, all sorts of obligations, fatigue, loneliness, physical ailments, etc.

    This stuff will depress you and give you anxiety. I certainly understand why people drink heavily or smoke herb every day or take Prozac.

    But I still have a little fight in me, not enough to fight the "system" but maybe enough fight to keep my person free of drugs.

    Who knows. This world may eventually take all the fight out of me and then I will succumb to drugs.
    I came from a real tough neighborhood. I put my hand in some cement and felt another hand." -- Rodney Dangerfield

  3. #93
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    Today I read an article in Weight Watchers magazine, "Set Yourself Free". It said, "After a point the more we talk about a problem, the more we risk cementing ourselves into it."

    UL how many posts have you had about your lonely life and nothing has changed? You say you will give up online dating and then a few weeks later post about a new woman you met online, but it never works out because of course she - like the world in general - does not measure up to your expectations.

    You can either wallow in your misery or do something different than you have been doing.

  4. #94
    Senior Member catherine's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ultralight View Post
    I disagree. Here is why:

    We live in a world where/that is:
    -Overpopulated by like 8 times
    -On the verge of an antibiotic efficacy crisis
    -Trump is President
    -Terrorism and war are rampant even in the most advanced nations
    -Cancer kills children and adults daily
    -Starvation and access to clean water a huge deadly problem for millions and millions if not billions of people
    -Reality TV
    -Global Warming
    -Murder and crime rates
    -There are gun nuts all over
    -North Korea probably has nuclear weapons
    -ISIS and other terror organizations are seeking out nuclear weapons
    -We still have to struggle to keep things like Creationism out of public schools
    -AIDS and other STDs
    -Boy Bands
    -At least a third of all dogs die without a forever home
    -Literally every body of water is polluted in the world
    -The rain forests (the lungs of the planet) get deforested more each year
    -There are huge islands of plastic waste in the oceans and they grow every year

    Should I go on? Are you seriously -- like seriously -- going to tell me that having anxiety and depression in a world like this is an inappropriate reaction and I should just take some pill whose efficacy probably is not even evidence-based?

    Wake up and smell the burnt toast! Or don't, because it will only depress you and make you anxious.
    Krishnamurti: "It is no measure of health to be well-adjusted to a profoundly sick society."

    At the same time, you just posted a beautiful thread about moments of peacefulness, and that's how we overcome our environment. As Viktor Frankl said, "“Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms—to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way."

    There are so many wonders in life, despite the yucky stuff, that we waste our time on earth by not acknowledging the wonders as well as the woes.
    "Do any human beings ever realize life while they live it--every, every minute?" Emily Webb, Our Town
    www.silententry.wordpress.com

  5. #95
    Senior Member Ultralight's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Yppej View Post
    Today I read an article in Weight Watchers magazine, "Set Yourself Free". It said, "After a point the more we talk about a problem, the more we risk cementing ourselves into it."

    UL how many posts have you had about your lonely life and nothing has changed? You say you will give up online dating and then a few weeks later post about a new woman you met online, but it never works out because of course she - like the world in general - does not measure up to your expectations.

    You can either wallow in your misery or do something different than you have been doing.
    Come at me with some bright ideas, bro. I am all ears.
    I came from a real tough neighborhood. I put my hand in some cement and felt another hand." -- Rodney Dangerfield

  6. #96
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    I love V. Frankel's writing as well as a few others from their experience in the Holocaust. I cried while reading the books but very inspiring.

  7. #97
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    You can have many good friends to talk about your problems with but most will not be able to give you the insight and guidance to find your path. Sure there are lots of crappy therapists but a good one is worth their weight in gold.

  8. #98
    Senior Member Ultralight's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Teacher Terry View Post
    You can have many good friends to talk about your problems with but most will not be able to give you the insight and guidance to find your path. Sure there are lots of crappy therapists but a good one is worth their weight in gold.
    I apparently have one of the best in the city. I know several other people (atheists here) who see her and sing her praises. She was on the Secular therapy project list of therapists here.

    Perhaps some cases of depression and anxiety cannot be cured.
    I came from a real tough neighborhood. I put my hand in some cement and felt another hand." -- Rodney Dangerfield

  9. #99
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ultralight View Post
    Come at me with some bright ideas, bro. I am all ears.
    1. Medication
    2. Picture bride from abroad
    3. Stop kvetching. Sometimes when you are too focused on something it doesn't happen. Then when you stop trying it does. That's the story of my mother's second pregnancy.
    4. Work on yourself and finding a purpose and passion in life by serving others. If your job lacks these qualities volunteer.

  10. #100
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    I am also INFJ, there is a real experience of chronic mild to moderate dissatisfaction with this world. I do a lot of reading on types, we are not really set up for the way the world is. I focus on how this is not my fault, and so some of it is the way it is. I have slowly found that talking or journaling about it often doesn't help. I find a solid sense of community and belonging are the best supports. I also have a very solid meditation practice which does not stop me from using medication. Several things happened to push me over to this many years ago and I do not regret it at all.

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