Practical strategies to cope with being alone?

[JaneV2.0]

How is life with a companion animal not a relationship? I wouldn't partner with someone who could discard a cat or dog on a whim; that would tell me all I needed to know about them. And many animal "allergies" are a more acceptable cover for dislike.

There is something to be said for marrying young, I suppose, from the standpoint of growing up together. Although you could just as easily grow apart. Marrying doesn't suit everybody, anyway.

[catherine]

How is life with a companion animal not a relationship? I wouldn't partner with someone who could discard a cat or dog on a whim; that would tell me all I needed to know about them. And many animal "allergies" are a more acceptable cover for dislike.

A companion animal is definitely a relationship, no doubt. But it's not the same as a human relationship. If I were truly interested in a person, and I was really hoping to have a long-term human partner, and they were allergic to my dog, that would be a real Sophie's choice, but I wouldn't make that choice between man or beast until I had investigated all possibilities for resolution.

[Oddball]

You are the most individualistic person I have ever known. You live your life your way . . .

A best friend from childhood told me the same thing back when we were about 30. It took me nearly 20 years to realize it was not a compliment. Rugged individualism may seem admirable, but most often it's a symptom of deeply suppressed emotional pain. Just ask Frank Sinatra and Jules Verne. Suggested reading: The Road Less Traveled and I'll Meet You There.

[Ultralight]

Dude. I think you know.

Do I...?

[Ultralight]

You value an ideology more than a potential life partner.

I relate better to ideas than people; that is true.

[Ultralight]

You go to extremes?

I'd say I am thorough.

[Ultralight]

A best friend from childhood told me the same thing back when we were about 30. It took me nearly 20 years to realize it was not a compliment. Rugged individualism may seem admirable, but most often it's a symptom of deeply suppressed emotional pain. Just ask Frank Sinatra and Jules Verne. Suggested reading: The Road Less Traveled and I'll Meet You There.

It may not have been a compliment to me either. In the political and socioeconomic realm I am certainly more collectivist (universal healthcare please!). But in my personal life I will admit to being stubbornly, vehemently, rebelliously individualistic. haha

Peer pressure had nowhere near the effect on me it had on others, so individualism came with some bonuses.

[ApatheticNoMore]

He said: "I always forget you were married. It is hard for me to believe you were ever married. You are the most individualistic person I have ever known. You live your life your way, you enjoy more solitude than anyone I know."

I thought: "Is he trying to tell me something?"

perhaps something trite and true: like relationships require give and take and perhaps some degree of compromise.

Liking solitude or not is another issue: a lot of of that probably depends on other things like degrees of introversion and extroversion. We are in deepest touch with ourselves in solitude, sometimes not the great aspects (aware of our pain etc.), but also sometimes aspects of our best selves as well are best made sense of in solitude. I really don't know that this part is a problem.

[Tammy]

Actually not all allergies can be managed. It would actually kill me to live in a house with a cat. The potential partner would have to choose between me and their cat.

[JaneV2.0]

Actually not all allergies can be managed. It would actually kill me to live in a house with a cat. The potential partner would have to choose between me and their cat.

I would think you would convey that up front, to save any misunderstanding. Just like the men I encountered who had children. Saved me getting involved.