Things I managed today

[Chicken lady]

I have been pushing pretty hard and getting most of the th8ngs on my “today” list done every day. The items on my “soon” list get moved from day to day until they either become “today”, get picked off, or are abandoned.

i think I am doing better about not over-planning. I am definitely doing better about not over-planning my classes.

i was going to make ice cream mix tonight and freeze it in the morning, but I decided that my weight is up and I need rest and relaxation more than ice cream right now. I will put catching up with the milk on my list for the weekend.

[Chicken lady]

Also, I put my list in order. I just set up the list for tomorrow. An appointment scheduled for 8:30 in the morning is literally in the center of the list.

but the afternoon things are longer, like “swim” which takes the time to drive from work to the pool, change, swim, shower, dress, and drive home. Which matches the morning “pack swim bag” which is just refilling my travel shampoo, putting my bathing suit (which is hanging to dry overnight) into the bag, and tossing it in the car. Only morning chores take more than an hour.

[Chicken lady]

Yesterday I was sad because I couldn’t find the energy to do some of the things on my list that I thought were important.

but this morning, I set boundaries!

i met with the 4h kid I am mentoring for a goat project and his mom (and his “surprise, you don’t mind do you?” Little brother - well, gee, I guess not, the kid is already here, and i’m Sure an extra child who wants to touch everything and has no experience with animals won’t be a distraction, you go ahead and ignore him....) on Thursday.

the mentoree was cool to lukewarm about the project, but he has some characteristics that I know can make new experiences more difficult. Mom said the6 would get in touch with me about when this week they wanted to start.

on my list for today was to contact her to ask if the boy had changed his mind. But when I got up this morning, I had an e-mail from the mom sent at 11pm asking if they could come tonight at 7.

i have plans. They could easily be rescheduled, and if this was going to be the only decent weather day this week, I would probably reschedule them. But today is absolutely the worst possible day in the entire ten day forecast. Plus, 14 hours notice. (So she thinks she gave me 20, still bad.)

so i e-mailed back that I was sorry, but i generally needed more notice and I have plans.

her response was, “I understand. The only problem is...” reasons why tonight is the only night that works “maybe we should skip this week.” Lady, I am not here to enable you. I am not here to make decisions about your life and your kid. I am not even going to suggest that unless you just found out at 11 at night that all the rest of this stuff was unavoidable, it would have been a good idea to contact me sooner.

i just replied back with the days I am “currently” open next week.

yay me!

[Tybee]

Yesterday I was sad because I couldn’t find the energy to do some of the things on my list that I thought were important.

but this morning, I set boundaries!

i met with the 4h kid I am mentoring for a goat project and his mom (and his “surprise, you don’t mind do you?” Little brother - well, gee, I guess not, the kid is already here, and i’m Sure an extra child who wants to touch everything and has no experience with animals won’t be a distraction, you go ahead and ignore him....) on Thursday.

the mentoree was cool to lukewarm about the project, but he has some characteristics that I know can make new experiences more difficult. Mom said the6 would get in touch with me about when this week they wanted to start.

on my list for today was to contact her to ask if the boy had changed his mind. But when I got up this morning, I had an e-mail from the mom sent at 11pm asking if they could come tonight at 7.

i have plans. They could easily be rescheduled, and if this was going to be the only decent weather day this week, I would probably reschedule them. But today is absolutely the worst possible day in the entire ten day forecast. Plus, 14 hours notice. (So she thinks she gave me 20, still bad.)

so i e-mailed back that I was sorry, but i generally needed more notice and I have plans.

her response was, “I understand. The only problem is...” reasons why tonight is the only night that works “maybe we should skip this week.” Lady, I am not here to enable you. I am not here to make decisions about your life and your kid. I am not even going to suggest that unless you just found out at 11 at night that all the rest of this stuff was unavoidable, it would have been a good idea to contact me sooner.

i just replied back with the days I am “currently” open next week.

yay me!

It sounds to me like you are getting messages from your internal warning system to not work with this family. the kid is cool to the project, the mom annoys you, the little brother annoys you--why work with them at all?

[Chicken lady]

Because I think the project will be good for the kid. There is a contract that goes with the project (which we will both sign if they ever come back) and I am putting in there that either party can end it at any time at will. So if the kid doesn’t become interested, or if I don’t feel like he’s getting anything out of it, I can just say “this isn’t working for me.” I have no stake in the kid finishing the project (actually, I think it is unlikely and will probably not be done well if he does) - but if he completes any of it, that will be an accomplishment for this kid.

[herbgeek]

Aren't there kids who are just chomping at the bit to work with goats? Why use your limited energy on a situation that even you don't think has a successful outcome?

[Chicken lady]

Because this is the one who asked.

i think there aren’t a lot of people chomping at the bit to work with him.

From what I have seen so far, “Successful” for this kid this year will be if he learns to latch the gate properly on his own and becomes confident enough and developes enough of a relationship with the goat that he can snap the leash on and lead the goat out of my barn, around the yard, and back without help. If they make it into the ring at fair that will be awesome. If his mother doesn’t fill out his project book (not my problem, not in my control) that will be even better.

i don’t care about the project. I care about the kid.

[early morning]

That's a great thing to do, Chicken Lady. 4H + animals + kids with issues often = generally good outcomes. Some of our group-home kids (that's one of our lower levels of court-involved youth) from the inner city started a 4-H club and took chickens to the fair last year. Seeing these kids hauling their chickens around and talking with confidence to the "country" kids about their projects and animals was totally awesome. They shed their street personas and became - well, kids. It was amazing.

[Summer]

I managed to cook a traditional polish dish that mom taught me a long time ago. Didn't manage to cook it (and cook it well) since she passed away...

[Chicken lady]

Summer, that is cool that you got to have your dish.

i am still “managing” my too many things.

dh made me clean all my unfinished projects out of the new room yesterday. It made me grumpy. I think I need to not treat this room as a work space, except for very limited projects. Up side - I will spend less time in it and be farther from the snacks.

in the afternoon I got out to the studio and worked on some projects for the class i’m taking. Mostly because I was annoyed with him and wanted to be alone.

i am going to skip working at the food bank this morning. I feel a little bit bad about it, but I need more time alone at home to focus on some other things. I have been thinking about my “big rocks” they are: the farm, pottery, and teaching. I should be able to fit one or two of those into every day.

”middle sized” rocks are the 4h kid, the food bank, swimming and working on the elephant. I should be able to fit one or two of those into every day for a total of two or three.

housework and laundry and cooking and dishes and errands are small rocks. I need to stop planning around them.