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Thread: Work has gotten very bad

  1. #21
    Senior Member razz's Avatar
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    Tradd, can you find someone to talk to who will understand what you are facing - beyond kind friends who will always support you but not fully understand the mental and emotional situation. When I was feeling harassed at work, the emotional stress as well as the mental stress were draining. It was so hard to step back and strategize a wise response to the situation. Is there a job coach in the mix somewhere? Your need to detach from it all and regain a sense of your worth and power. Your situation is not unusual but your approach to deal with it may be unique.

    BTW, DH tried to help but he simply had not gone through something like mine so family and friends really don't help much.

    I finally quit and heard that things changed afterwards as Steve said. There was regret all around that I had not made more strategic effort.

    Because I had no experience in dealing with such situations and believed that I could handle things as I had all my life before, I missed an opportunity to make the changes needed to properly respond.
    Gandhi: Happiness is when what you think, what you say and what you do are in harmony .

  2. #22
    Senior Member Tradd's Avatar
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    I have a friend who is going through much the same thing right now. No job coach. A friend is a counselor and I'll see what her suggestions might be. My way of dealing with the stress is to head to the pool after work and do my 2000 yards which 1.1 miles. I just sort of zone out during it and might be sort of meditation.

  3. #23
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    Um, credit card minimum payment? What kind of balance/interest are you carrying on that? How much of that $350 is interest, and is the balance going down? That seems like the most efficient place to put money to save money.

  4. #24
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    you are doing all the right stuff. Yes I would still put enough in the 401k each year for the match. I wonder if the manager just dislikes you or would treat any employee badly pretty much. The golden girl may just be on a true grace period where not much is expected of them because they are new AND THEN someday they wake up and aren't new anymore and then the boom falls!!! Welcome to the real world kiddo, playing with the big boys now! (and then she quits to have another kid ha ).

    But seriously she might be on grace period where she is being treated "soft" and that is nothing to envy if so, as it will end. But if there is another reason you can imitate that she is preferred (and it could be a completely unfair reason like she gossips or socializes with the boss more, or she kisses more ass and compliments the boss more or something, then that is something to try maybe - just for the time being until you get a better job).

    I've been combing through my budget. I have my $30 gym membership that keeps me sane with swimming, getting in good shape, and losing weight. Utilities are low, as it's only a 1 BR condo I rent. Budget plan is about $40 each for gas (heat/hot water) and electric (electric stove and clothes dryer). I can try air drying some more clothes and rein in the long, hot baths some. My rent is very reasonable for the area ($860)and I've been here 9 years. I pay $47 a month for AT&T Uverse cable. That's the lowest plan. I pay $90 a month for Verizon Wireless unlimited talk, text, data. I didn't know you could get a $5/month discount by using auto pay. I just signed up for that. I looked into switching plans, but it would only save me about $25 a month to go down to the lowest plan. Not much of a difference. I get a haircut/brow wax every 6 weeks for $50. I don't have cable TV and just have a digital antenna. My credit card minimum payment is about $350 a month. Car payment is $300 a month with 17 months left. Car insurance is about $650 every 6 months and renters is about $150 a year.
    I agree there isn't a lot to cut here. Perhaps some duplication of phones and internet. If not cable t.v. what is even on the uverse plan? Just landline and internet? Then you might not need data on the cell phone and could just use internet at home. Or alternately you could dump all landline connectivity and just have cell and use wifi etc.. You may not want to make that sacrifice now, it's just something that could happen if you absolutely need to (like when planning a budget for an emergency fund if out of work). As for verizon sometimes it's cheaper on a prepaid phone plan even with data.

    Do you pay for the digital antenna or it's just something you paid for once and doesn't cost anything? The car insurance sounds high, but I have a feeling you are insuring a nearly new car with full coverage, it's less for just liability of course, but probably not a good idea with such a new car. I'd keep the gym membership being unhealthy costs more is just how I see it (and something like managing weight if a gym membership helps then it's important to do now as people usually gain weight over time and it's hard to lose a lot of weight after the fact. Your health insurance might offer a discount for having a membership, or it might not).

    The thing about most basic life bills EXCEPT food sometimes, and sometimes we can get non-food household items cheaper also (detergent etc.), and TRUE discretionary income (actual wants) is they are KINDA FIXED EXPENSES. Worrying about a few extra pennies from the water heater and taking nice relaxing a bath really is probably too much into diminishing returns at least if you don't pay for water. So that's why I'm just pointing out what little I see. I suppose there are other possibilities like you could be over insured, on fancier medical than you need (but doesn't matter if job pays it in full) or dental when you hardly use it or vision when you almost never buy glasses etc. (but again none of this matters when the employer picks up the full tab, but they don't always).
    Last edited by ApatheticNoMore; 1-6-18 at 2:46pm.
    If you want something to get done, ask a busy person. If you want them to have a nervous breakdown that is.

  5. #25
    Senior Member Tradd's Avatar
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    The U-verse is just internet. I've not had a landline in years. I was considering going with just cell phone if needed. That unlimited plan includes 15G for mobile hotspot (aka tethering my laptop).

    Car is a 2014 Focus.

  6. #26
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    I'd dump the UVerse and add that $47 onto the credit card payment.
    Otherwise, I see nothing to cut. You live a lean life.

  7. #27
    Senior Member Tradd's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by mschrisgo2 View Post
    I'd dump the UVerse and add that $47 onto the credit card payment.
    Otherwise, I see nothing to cut. You live a lean life.
    I had been considering doing that on and off for a while anyway. I mostly surf the net on my iPhone 6. I don't stream much video, but I do enjoy listening to BBC Radio online a lot. Sometimes I forget to switch my phone to home internet when I'm home, and I can't tell the difference. In fact, I swear the Verizon 4LTE over my phone is faster than U-verse. I'm going to think about this for a few more days.

    My grocery bill is about $50 weekly. Allergy meds, toiletries, and other household items add about $40 a month.

  8. #28
    Senior Member Tradd's Avatar
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    Someone asked about the digital antenna. It's a one-time expense. It's the current equivalent of the old-time rabbit ears.

  9. #29
    Senior Member Tradd's Avatar
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    There is only one thing holding me back from cancelling the U-verse home internet. I am a heavy user of Apple iCloud for backing up photos, files, contacts, bookmarks, etc. Wifi is needed to upload photos to iCloud. I'm asking elsewhere if there is a workaround for this, aside from tethering MacBook to iPhone.

  10. #30
    Senior Member jp1's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tradd View Post
    There is only one thing holding me back from cancelling the U-verse home internet. I am a heavy user of Apple iCloud for backing up photos, files, contacts, bookmarks, etc. Wifi is needed to upload photos to iCloud. I'm asking elsewhere if there is a workaround for this, aside from tethering MacBook to iPhone.
    How frequently do you do this? What about taking it to the library every week or two and using the free internet there?

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