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Thread: Who do you call

  1. #1
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    Who do you call

    OMG, so much for coming back from break positive, Just had my phone check in with sup and lost it, The music teacher overheard some of it (just how upset I was but not details, we share a vent and hear everything from each other) and checked to see if I was okay.

    He told me that I can't have any parent paid after school clubs, I have been planning them since fall when I checked that our grant would allow for them. I have been talking about it and asking for support on the process to charge parents by debit card. I even asked about one new provider and if he wanted the parents to pay the provider directly or to be funneled through our accounts. He answered so he must have understood. So now as I am ready to put them in place for spring, starting NEXT WEEK, he says this.

    He will give me an answer by tomorrow, I am at a loss. I really want to call someone but who. I am a wreck about getting any other work done, or emailing him back, or calling employee assistance, just WTF

  2. #2
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    Quote Originally Posted by Zoe Girl View Post
    He answered so he must have understood
    Did he answer in writing?

    If not can you get permission to tape future conversations?

  3. #3
    Senior Member iris lilies's Avatar
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    Did your supervisor give a reason for denying these programs?

    you have made reference to (what I believe is ) this payment procedure prior to this. Is it the payment process that is unworkable?

  4. #4
    Senior Member razz's Avatar
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    Catch your breath and step back. This is not about you or this sup but the kids and the grant money and its purpose to benefit the kids. This is the second time that he has jerked back approval for a program at the last minute. This cannot continue to happen. This is not an emotional issue but a programming issue.

    OK, now I would document the process you have the followed to date, the consultations that you have followed to keep this sup apprised of how things were unfolding at each step and the community's response to date.

    Has something similar to this program been done in the past with the previous sup and how did that work? Explain the history and the benefits in the past. Explain that you have followed the same steps keeping this sup in the information loop all along with no reason to doubt that the steps were appropriately completed to date.
    There appears to be some step that is being missed. Ask him to define what he would like to see done in planning a similar program? Pin him down. If he has no clear answer, I would suggest to him that you both need clarification from his manager using your written sheet of the history because what has worked in the past is no longer working with no clear new direction to follow. Sometimes you just have to call him on it.
    MHO anyway.
    Gandhi: Happiness is when what you think, what you say and what you do are in harmony .

  5. #5
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    Quote Originally Posted by Yppej View Post
    Did he answer in writing?

    If not can you get permission to tape future conversations?
    Permission is not necessary to tape someone. Check it out.

  6. #6
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    Thank you all, and I am feeling pretty good about how I am handling it. I cannot keep being the freak-out person no matter how shocked I am. So I did calm down, when my assistant came in we took a walk around the block. He has spent the last week registering and emailing people for these programs, both parent and grant paid. I did use some bad words, mostly we are just in shock.

    I recalled a specific conversation that started with an email, so that I have some evidence. It is hard to have evidence when you just assume it is your job and you have been talking about it for months. In any case I had asked about a program that parents would pay for and how they should do that, and how we should write the scope of work. His first response was that I was a grant based program, same issue I have had for 5 1/2 years!! I am both grant and tuition based, I was the first site to integrate both and it has been an issue at times to get people to understand what I do. I had answered him by email but followed up with a phone call. So I forwarded him the email, wrote some extra things about conversations we have had, pointed out that since I had continually been asking for support in how to charge parents it was reasonable to think he understood that I would be adding fee based programs. Then I put in a short paragraph about the impact of this change, the numbers of students already registered, the parents who have been asking for additional programming and offered to pay, and that the programs start very soon.

    Then I ended with saying that my assistant had the program covered today and I was taking some personal time. Staff was still able to call me for any emergencies however. We should only have about 35 kids instead of 80 in 5 locations.

    I feel MUCH better by leaving (with pretty much everything done before I left, actually working from home right now). I have been able to stop the obsessive thinking and talking because I am not there, and not working 12 hours as is my normal Monday. It is hard to stay calm when tired and at work. I can remember that I have a life outside. However I do have 2 things and some more that very much need to get done today, I was just sitting down to do them at 11 when I had my check in call and I have not had the focus to finish these tasks. Overall these issues with my supervisor make it hard to do my work, I have been stalling on finishing up the scope of work for each club because there is this uncertainty underlying everything. I need to get a lot of details taken care of, rooms arranged, details for scope of work, make sure I have all the medical needs covered for any after school kids, train my new staff, contact people on the wait list who have been waiting for me to hire this staff, .... there is no time for this drama. Knowing that I would be useless at work while my mind was in the drama I think it was a good choice to leave for a time

  7. #7
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    You are correct in her state of Colorado it is not required. I was thinking of my home state, which is a two party consent state.

  8. #8
    Senior Member iris lilies's Avatar
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    Tell us, what is your supervisor’s reason for denying these programs? Is it the payment process that you have mentioned several times?

  9. #9
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    Even if you tape you have to have a good plan on what you would do with such evidence that wouldn't make things even worse. I agree it seems like a really messed up situation.
    If you want something to get done, ask a busy person. If you want them to have a nervous breakdown that is.

  10. #10
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    Really, that is very important to know. I remember when I was getting divorced my lawyer gave me advice to not lose my temper no matter what my ex did. He said that they could be recording me and would likely be trying to show that I was unstable as part of the divorce and custody. I did lose my temper and yell one time, really lost it. Then I got it together. I lived basically in my bedroom for 4 months, coming out to cook and do small things and return. My ex started to come home from work at odd times so I was never sure when he would be there. My kids used to bring dinner into my bedroom and eat with me, But I did not lose it with him or with the lawyers or at court. Now personally I was a wreck and lost friends and generally considered myself crazy. He moved out after 4 months, the divorce took 1 1/2 years, and we went back for a child support issue that ended with my lawyer and the mediator concerned for my safety.

    There is something about this situation that is reminding me of old things, and reminding me that I can hold my cool and manage myself in a way that impressed high priced lawyers. I came out of many of these challenges doing very well in some ways. One mediator (a lawyer) asked where I had my legal training even! I just paid the price in personally being a wreck for a long time. Now I think that I can do this, I can handle myself, and I have a chance of coming out okay and not personally a basket case.

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