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Thread: Question about women and what they want........

  1. #11
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    I noticed some interesting comments on this topic in our local newspaper. An older woman wrote in and said she was raised in a home where their father would make them change their clothing if he thought it was too revealing or "sexy." She said that women today send mixed messages and don't act like "ladies" anymore therefore they aren't respected by men. Younger women wrote in and said that it is not their duty to dress a certain way just to curtail male impulses. I can recall as a 9 yr old finding some Playboys in the alley and being totally surprised that women would want to be that way. DH and I had a lengthy conversation about boobs and their intended purpose. Native women sat around nursing babies and men didn't get "tittilated" as they do now. Lots of societal conditioning since then I suppose. We are all a bit confused - right?

  2. #12
    Senior Member bae's Avatar
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    Slut shaming is always in style.

  3. #13
    Senior Member JaneV2.0's Avatar
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    The trick is not to be "shameable" in whatever way that works for you. Own your attitude.

  4. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by CathyA View Post
    Speaking of little girl princess parties.......I have to interject something I saw last night. I was waiting a few minutes early to watch "The Good Doctor" and preceding it was "The Bachelor". OMG.........I felt like vomiting.
    Yep, daughter and I both agree "The Bachelor" is trash TV, degrading to all who participate.

  5. #15
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    I was talking to dh about this recently because he has a beautiful young niece who is making really bad decisions that put her in dangerous situations. And he is very concerned about how to stop her behavior. While I agree that she needs to change her behavior, I also said (regarding her male “friends”) but you know, she should be able to pass out drunk naked at that party and every one of those guys should be concerned only about getting her home safely.

    he said I was an unrealistic.

    for this reality, I agree. But speaking as one woman. That’s what I want. I society in which a teenage girl can walk through town naked with a bag of cash at night and expect to safely reach her destination. And I don’t care if I can’t have it, we should be moving in that direction. (And I hold nothing against any man who wants to enjoy the view. but the view is all that is on offer until further notice.)

    my best friends in high school and college were boys and men, and everyone of them but one would have met my criteria in the first paragraph. The one spiked my drinks at a party one night. I know this, because there was a loud aguement in the kitchen and then another one of the guys came out and informed me “d is spiking your drinks.” Then there was a second loud argument in the kitchen, and the host escorted d to the door. I was later tucked in under the dining room table to sleep it off.

    later d apologized and said he didn’t mean me harm, but he had never seen me drunk before and thought I was funny and wanted the show to go on. I never trusted him again.

    i took these guys back to my room between activities and kept talking to them while I changed, they turned around without being asked. (They knew I was stopping to change and did not think it was code for “let’s fool around”). I slept on their floors and in their beds, and shared mine. And never did they make me feel uncomfortable.

    i expect my son, my husband, my brother to be those men. Just like I expect them not to rob banks, kick puppies, or pee on the floor.

  6. #16
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    Quote Originally Posted by Chicken lady View Post
    he said I was an unrealistic.

    for this reality, I agree. But speaking as one woman. That’s what I want. I society in which a teenage girl can walk through town naked with a bag of cash at night and expect to safely reach her destination. And I don’t care if I can’t have it, we should be moving in that direction.

    The wolves are all hoping more sheep move in that direction.

  7. #17
    Senior Member CathyA's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by bae View Post
    Slut shaming is always in style.
    What are you trying to say, bae?

  8. #18
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    Some people say women dress that way because it is how they have been taught to present themselves in a patriarchal society. It has *some* truth. Makeup may be required to have the proper look for one's job, women have seen nothing but idealized sexualized images of women all their lives (no not as many of men), and women live in a society where men still control most of the reigns of power and they have to take that into account, that by and large they don't run the place. Women compete with other women, but of course in any career context they also compete with men.

    Anyway women should not be harassed regardless of how they dress.

    Hollywood is it's own thing and real hard to relate to because it does also sell sex appeal, it also sells how fancy the dresses are (people, mostly women, do watch awards in part to see the dresses). So it's not that easy to relate it to struggles against sexual harassment in the office, in the blue collar or service workplace etc. since Hollywood really is off in it's own reality to some degree.
    If you want something to get done, ask a busy person. If you want them to have a nervous breakdown that is.

  9. #19
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    I was a full-throated supporter of 1970s feminism, but I find 21st century feminism increasingly annoying. I suppose it's a glass-half-empty-glass-half-full kind of thing. If you are a woman living in most modern countries, it has never, in the entire history of the planet, been a better time to be a woman in terms of rights and protections. Inequalities remain, but, given the different imperatives that drive men and women, that seems to be part of the human condition. And these days I feel like women spend an awful lot of time complaining about things that are less about sexism than the are about the inherent unfairness of life.

    IMHO, what I call "first-world feminism" too often isn't asking for equal treatment, it's asking for special treatment. An example: At my company, a woman can get up to three months maternity leave at half pay with no loss of benefits. Now, I'd like to get three months off at half pay with no loss of benefits, but that ain't happening. I could argue that in modern society having children isn't a biological necessity, it's a lifestyle choice. Why should I be denied the same treatment because I chose not to have children? Because life isn't fair.

    Be careful what you wish for. I'm reminded of a movie I saw a few years ago--don't remember the title--in which two mob guys are pulled over by a female officer. One of the mob guys pulls out a gun and shoots her dead. "What did you do?" says the other. "You just shot a broad!" His friend replies: "You're a male chauvinist! She wanted to be equal, so I made her equal!"

    Equal rights, like most things in life, is a two-edged sword.

  10. #20
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    Old hat - society needs those children. Maybe not all of them, but we can’t actually predict which ones. Society does not need you to take a vacation unless your performance of your job is actually detrimental.

    i personally think all parents should get equal time off with pay.

    and I am against shooting police officers of any gender.

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