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Thread: Help: What would you do?

  1. #41
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    Catherine, Try not to make the loss worse with guilt. You did what you needed to do.

  2. #42
    Senior Member iris lilies's Avatar
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    Agree with William, your were watching her closely and got her in as soon as you could.

    And like all of us, you learned the lesson that when they start to go down, they become miserable pretty fast. This is for dogs. I still cant read cats. With our 19 year old cat who died last year we knew she was a day from death BUT that was before she got skinnier and skinnier and kept on trucking for months.

    My most favorite bulldog died at home. But it wasnt before I had hauled her into the Emergency clinic and while we never had a firm diagnosis, it was likely brain tumor. They found lots of waste in her colon and asked if I wanted that evacuated, and I told them go ahead. I still think that was the right decision even though she died about 8 hours later after walking into and out of the clinic. I think that relieved some of her discomfort, but who knows.

  3. #43
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    One of my biggest life regrets was waiting too long with a beloved cat. I won't let it happen again. My condolences...it is so hard.

  4. #44
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    Catherine, I cried when I read your post. I have never seen a dog go downhill that fast. There is absolutely no way that you could have known that would happen. You gave her a great life and she loved you as much as you loved her. Hugs

  5. #45
    Senior Member rosarugosa's Avatar
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    I'm so sorry Catherine. Be kind to yourself. You are only human and did the best you could, and everything you did was in the spirit of love.

  6. #46
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    I know you will mourn the loss, but please don't feel guilty for waiting too long. You couldn't know when the time was.

    I am convinced my "dog of my heart" was dying in my arms / perhaps in a coma like state when I took her for that final vet visit. As you say, she had no light left and didn't move or look at me as I held and carried her. She was breathing, but other than that she was already gone.

    I'm sorry for your loss.

  7. #47
    Senior Member catherine's Avatar
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    Thanks so much, everyone. (Terry, thanks for sharing tears with me--yes, it happened so fast--January 10 was the first sign of serious sickness. 27 days.)

    We all hope for "death with dignity" but that's a human value to an event that is dignity-neutral. It's just death. There are so many billions of humans who have died under less than "dignified" conditions--warriors and those who have suffered with serious, painful illness. Williamsmith, in your line of work, I'm sure you have seen many "deserving" people die in an undeserving way. In my spiritual readings I have learned, and tried to practice, not to place a value on life events. To accept them as they are.

    Sometimes I wonder why it's so hard to lose an animal. Those of you who have never had a pet probably scratch your heads, thinking, "It's just a DOG (or cat)". But what I have come to realize after having owned several dogs and cats is that if you think of your life as a weaving on a loom.. the day is the warp and the little everyday things that fill it are the weft. The interactions with the pet--the walks, the feedings, the scratching of the belly, the occasional ball-throw, and gaze while you're trying to watch TV or work... Those are fibers that get woven directly into our days and become part of the very fabric that constitutes our lives.

    So when the end comes, it feels literally like the fibers of the weft of our daily experience are ripped out and it leaves a god-awful hole.

    Here's to all the creatures, human and non-human, who literally become a part of us. Even when their leave-taking tears us open.
    "Do any human beings ever realize life while they live it--every, every minute?" Emily Webb, Our Town
    www.silententry.wordpress.com

  8. #48
    Senior Member SteveinMN's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by rosarugosa View Post
    I'm so sorry Catherine. Be kind to yourself. You are only human and did the best you could, and everything you did was in the spirit of love.
    rosa, you described the way I reacted.

    Catherine, the choice to keep your dog one more night is perfectly understandable. Lives are haunted by regret over decisions that cannot be unmade. I suspect your dog would not want to see you preoccupied and sad over that very human decision. You did what you could to keep your dog comfortable as long as you could. My sympathies now and for the days ahead as you work through your grief.
    If Americans expended even a fraction of the energy on civic engagement that we spend on consumer ideology, our democracy would be much healthier. Can you imagine people camping out to vote? -- Charles Roberts, Amherst, Mass., Nov. 25, 2006

  9. #49
    Senior Member Williamsmith's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by catherine View Post
    Thanks so much, everyone. (Terry, thanks for sharing tears with me--yes, it happened so fast--January 10 was the first sign of serious sickness. 27 days.)

    We all hope for "death with dignity" but that's a human value to an event that is dignity-neutral. It's just death. There are so many billions of humans who have died under less than "dignified" conditions--warriors and those who have suffered with serious, painful illness. Williamsmith, in your line of work, I'm sure you have seen many "deserving" people die in an undeserving way. In my spiritual readings I have learned, and tried to practice, not to place a value on life events. To accept them as they are.

    Sometimes I wonder why it's so hard to lose an animal. Those of you who have never had a pet probably scratch your heads, thinking, "It's just a DOG (or cat)". But what I have come to realize after having owned several dogs and cats is that if you think of your life as a weaving on a loom.. the day is the warp and the little everyday things that fill it are the weft. The interactions with the pet--the walks, the feedings, the scratching of the belly, the occasional ball-throw, and gaze while you're trying to watch TV or work... Those are fibers that get woven directly into our days and become part of the very fabric that constitutes our lives.

    So when the end comes, it feels literally like the fibers of the weft of our daily experience are ripped out and it leaves a god-awful hole.

    Here's to all the creatures, human and non-human, who literally become a part of us. Even when their leave-taking tears us open.
    Your use of the word “creatures” caused me to think of the James Harriet book series which I think started with, “All Creatures Great And Small”. I was born with a soft heart for animals. Kids can be pretty cruel but in my circle of friends if somebody tried to abuse a snake that we found or stomp on a toad even.....I got pissy about it.

    I have owned a zoo of animals over my lifetime and not one of them did I rejoice about when they passed.

    I have a simplistic view of life and death. I believe in a creator. I also believe that once created, nothing vanishes when it dies. It simply ceases to be in the form that we are used to interacting with. I believe their mission to us just changed and something or someone else became more important. We don’t see the entire field of battle. We see what we can from our perspective. Faith fills in the unknown parts. That dog of yours had a mission which it fulfilled. Celebrate it.

    https://youtu.be/bjbktnTuV30

  10. #50
    Senior Member catherine's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Williamsmith View Post
    I have a simplistic view of life and death. I believe in a creator. I also believe that once created, nothing vanishes when it dies. It simply ceases to be in the form that we are used to interacting with. I believe their mission to us just changed and something or someone else became more important. We don’t see the entire field of battle. We see what we can from our perspective. Faith fills in the unknown parts. That dog of yours had a mission which it fulfilled. Celebrate it.

    https://youtu.be/bjbktnTuV30
    Your life-and-death creed mirrors mine. I'm with you on that. BTW, James Herriot was one of my favorite authors. I remember reading "All Creatures Great and Small" on the MetroNorth from NYC when I was working at NBC, and one part struck me so funny that I couldn't stop laughing out loud and all the commuters must have been ready to call the conductor and have me thrown off. I did read his other books as well.

    DH asked me about "doggie heaven" today and I told him that I see it as us just re-entering the flow of life in a different form.

    “For what is it to die but to stand naked in the wind and to melt into the sun?
    And what is it to cease breathing but to free the breath from its restless tides, that it may rise and expand and seek God unencumbered?
    Only when you drink from the river of silence shall you indeed sing.
    And when you have reached the mountaintop,then you shall begin to climb.
    And when the earth shal claim your limbs,then shall you truly dance.”
    --Kahlil Gibran, on Death


    Blackbird singing in the dead of night
    Take these sunken eyes and learn to see
    All your life
    You were only waiting for this moment to be free
    Blackbird fly, blackbird fly
    Into the light of the dark black night
    --Lennon and McCartney
    "Do any human beings ever realize life while they live it--every, every minute?" Emily Webb, Our Town
    www.silententry.wordpress.com

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