Assisted living is much nicer then a NH but you need the $ to afford it and around here they are super expensive. My DAd was lucky because my Mom cared for him at home for 14 years and I lived next door and helped her. Then when my Mom needed help through her 3 bouts of cancer us 3 kids took turns going home to stay for a few weeks until she would get better. WE all worked for government so were able to get off for a 2 week time period. By the time she was 88 and needed more help both my sibs lived close and were retired so they would move in for a few weeks to help her and then she could be alone again. She died shortly before 90 and only spent a week in a home. Both my parents were lucky and not too big of a burden. My 2 sibs never helped with my Dad but when my Mom needed it I lived far away so they stepped up to help her. If my Mom would have needed full time care she would have had to go into a home but she was determined to stay home and take care of herself. It is really tough when one kid is doing everything and I don't think a child should have to sacrifice their life to take care of a parent f.t.