Table manners - What's important

[Tammy]

It’s not that I want people to be rude when eating - it’s that there's more to life than robotically following a list of rules.

This list makes it feel so superficial. I am bored by people who focus on following the rules. I want more depth.

I don’t think I’m making my point very well ...

[goldensmom]

What about french fries? Not trying to be snarky, but I have a friend who would eat them with a fork. Just curious if you have his point of view or just didn't think of fries when posting.

Not snarky, good question and you are right, I did not think of fries when I posted. If I am in a restaurant and have a fork I will use the fork to eat French fries. If I am at a fast food restaurant, I will use my fingers rather than ask for a fork even though I prefer a fork as I don't like grease and salt on my fingers. It is also part of my upbringing where we were taught table manners, i.e. no elbows on the table, use a napkin, ask to be excused before leaving the table, proper use of eating utensils (American not European), say please and thank you, civil conversation, etc.. Childhood imprinting is powerful.

[catherine]

Not snarky, good question and you are right, I did not think of fries when I posted. If I am in a restaurant and have a fork I will use the fork to eat French fries. If I am at a fast food restaurant, I will use my fingers rather than ask for a fork even though I prefer a fork as I don't like grease and salt on my fingers.

First of all, I don't think I've ever ordered fries in a nice restaurant. But I also think the idea of cutting a fry with a knife is a little weird. I would eat small shoestring fries with a fork, but if they're too big to put in my mouth, I'd eat them with my fingers. I'm probably totally uncouth, but I can't remember ever cutting a French fry with a knife.

[CathyA]

I eat the european way, I guess..........I hold the knife in my right hand and the fork in my right. It makes more sense to me, and is more energy-efficient, than cutting things the "proper" way.....putting the knife up and down/changing hands with the fork, then constantly repeating.
Seriously......how can we call my way "not having manners"?

I have to share a memory that popped into my head while reading this thread. I was in a state mental institution when I was a teenager (Bad home life, depression). Anyhow.......one day all the girls were taken to a room in the main building to learn table manners. We sat around a big set table (there were about 12 of us....all teens) and were taught how to eat properly at a table. The image makes me laugh still........all these 'misfits' learning manners.

[dado potato]

"Never break your bread or roll in your soup." Especially the latter. <Wink.>

[iris lilies]

It’s not that I want people to be rude when eating - it’s that there's more to life than robotically following a list of rules.

This list makes it feel so superficial. I am bored by people who focus on following the rules. I want more depth.

I don’t think I’m making my point very well ...

oh sure, but this list is, I think, for people who WANT the information, and who WANT to blend in with Standard American Cultural Dining norms.

Keeping them in their ignorance would be “hoarding” social capital according to certain social justice warriors. I’m sure you dont want to be a selfish hoarder.

Would I really care about dining out with a friend who picked out mushrooms from her salad with her fingers or who put her napkin on the front of her blouse? Of course not, especially if she had some juicy gossip to impart during lunch.

[Rogar]

Interesting perspectives on fries. I routinely eat them with a fork, primarily because they are best doused with ketchup. Using a fork and possibly knife avoids getting the finger gooey with ketchup. I suppose there are fry dippers rather than dousers, but it can still be a messy finger food.

[JaneV2.0]

I try to avoid restaurants where you are expected to eat foods normally considered "finger foods" with a fork.

[iris lilies]

I try to avoid restaurants where you are expected to eat foods normally considered "finger foods" with a fork.

I go to high end restaurants but they dont serve french fries.

[JaneV2.0]

When I go out to eat, I vastly prefer family-owned ethnic restaurants where the most important thing is the quality of the food--and I eat my samosas, pakoras, tacos, and egg rolls with my fingers, happily.