For the most part, during the day, I can cope pretty well with having a miserable existence. I keep busy, work hard, try to think positive and express gratitude for having a business that is flourishing and profitable.
But, at night, when I am in bed, struggling to sleep, sadness overwhelms me. I feel so alone, so unloved and un-appreciated. I cannot remember a night in a very long time when I didn't soak my pillow with tears and wish that I would not wake up to see another day. Often I will work until complete and utter exhaustion just so that I can fall in bed and, hopefully, go to sleep quickly so I do not have to suffer yet again through another night.
I've always been a supreme cuddler, especially at night. I want to feel safe, and loved and protected and cherished, and those are the very last things I feel, and will ever feel from my husband. Like I said, during the day, it's not much problem, but the nights are hell.
Can anybody offer any coping mechanisms to help? Any tricks that work for them? I have a dog, but she is outside and can't come into the house because I have 5 cats and our house is super tiny and our dog is big. She has a wonderful heated house and a feather duvet to sleep on and is the happiest dog I know, so she is not suffering from lack of human contact. Besides, I spend a lot of time with her to make sure she knows she is loved. Besides dog love is nice, but it can't make up for people love.
Your input?????