Nothing like cleaning out a hoarder's house to motivate

[iris lilies]

Last Sunday I went back to my old neighborhood to visit some old friends and to visit my parents.

Their house... the hoarding... so, so much worse. I did not even know it could get this much worse.

I am sorry to hear this. Hoarding is a terrible terrible thing and it has such an awful impact on family members.

[Teacher Terry]

So sorry to hear this. I guess typically these type of situations just get worse.

[Chicken lady]

Ultralight, I am truly sorry.

Have you ever read Digging Out? It is intended for family members of hoarders. I am currently reading it to try to help work on communication with dh. I’m not sure how I feel about it, but it was suggested as helpful by a non-hoarding family member if a severe hoarder who involved in my support group. It addresses really severe cases.

I deleted part of my post because I was afraid it would be depressing, but you know, if you ever want to talk about it...

[Ultralight]

Ultralight, I am truly sorry.

Have you ever read Digging Out? It is intended for family members of hoarders. I am currently reading it to try to help work on communication with dh. I’m not sure how I feel about it, but it was suggested as helpful by a non-hoarding family member if a severe hoarder who involved in my support group. It addresses really severe cases.

I deleted part of my post because I was afraid it would be depressing, but you know, if you ever want to talk about it...

Post anything you want. I welcome your thoughts.

And yes, I read that book. I have read the entire canon of hoarding books. haha

My sis was surprised when I told her about the house getting worse. She has not gone in the house in 3 years -- since she was pregnant with her first kid.

[Teacher Terry]

My MIL was a wonderful person but a hoarder. When she died she left behind a 2 bedroom trailer with a small shed. She bought collectibles thinking that they would be valuable one day. Still in original boxes worth nothing. Once empty we hired someone to clean it because it was so dirty. She owned it but not the land. The park had to approve the buyer or we would have to pay to have it disposed of. We found a young mom and sold it to her by her paying us a 100/month for 5 years with no interest. The park approved her and it was a win win.

[mschrisgo2]

My mother’s house, that was on my brother’s property, and brother’s house both burned to the ground in one of the huge California wildfires last year. [the only thing I was sad about was the family pictures lost]. They immediately relocated to their beach house in Oregon, and brother has since bought and renovated a 3500 sq ft home that the 3 of them are living in. Living, and Filling!!!

My mother is attempting to replace all of her stuff (70 year accumulation of dishes, artifical Christmas trees and decorations, dolls, painted bird houses, hand painted ceramics, beer steins, turtle figurines, china cups and saucers... and the list goes on)

Brother and SIL, “we buy everything we see, in person or online.”

I am flabbergasted.

[Gardnr]

My mother’s house, that was on my brother’s property, and brother’s house both burned to the ground in one of the huge California wildfires last year. [the only thing I was sad about was the family pictures lost]. They immediately relocated to their beach house in Oregon, and brother has since bought and renovated a 3500 sq ft home that the 3 of them are living in. Living, and Filling!!!

My mother is attempting to replace all of her stuff (70 year accumulation of dishes, artifical Christmas trees and decorations, dolls, painted bird houses, hand painted ceramics, beer steins, turtle figurines, china cups and saucers... and the list goes on)

Brother and SIL, “we buy everything we see, in person or online.”

I am flabbergasted.

Wow! It's really true...we must walk a mile in another's shoes to understand.

[Chicken lady]

Hoarding is often a response to trauma.

Ultralight, you know you can expect the house to keep getting worse in the absence of intervention, right?

[Ultralight]

Yesterday I was turned down at the last minute for a job that seemed like I had a very strong chance of getting. They skipped the phone interview and went directly to a video interview. Then they flew me to NC for a campus visit with all day interviews. Then they did the background check. After that they completed the references.

Then yesterday they called to tell me I did not get it.

This was a bit of a gut punch, rather disappointing. I was down in the dumps.

As often happens when something occurs that disappoints me or brings me down, I get a little urge to minimize my stuff. Now, the urge is there, I feel it. And I think it is a comparatively good urge.

I recognized that I am at a comfortable level of minimalism and I did not need to minimize anything, so I didn't.

But I think that my mom and other hoarders, in order to deal with life's emotional problems, feel a different urge -- one to acquire more stuff, "retail therapy" or some such.

[Ultralight]

Hoarding is often a response to trauma.

Ultralight, you know you can expect the house to keep getting worse in the absence of intervention, right?

I wonder what the traumas were that caused my mom's hoarding. She grew up with an alcoholic father who cheated on her mom all the time. And her mom was also a hoarder, and maybe had some form of autism.

My grandma had some socially awkward problems for sure, and looking back, she did not read people well, like she could not see emotions in their faces. She connected much better with her cat or her dog than with seemingly any person.