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Thread: Happy ending to moving my MIL to assisted living

  1. #1
    Senior Member herbgeek's Avatar
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    Happy ending to moving my MIL to assisted living

    Today marks 3 weeks since my husband moved his mom into a local rest home.

    The first weekend was so hard. She just sat in her room watching TV, refusing to acknowledge that anyone else was around her. She complained to my husband that she was in prison.

    Yesterday he took her for a routine doctor visit. When they got back to the home, Mom is in charge. She first goes to the front desk and gives them the doctor paperwork, then she tells my husband she'll be back, she has to say hi to her friends. She went from staring at the TV in her room alone, to watching with others in the TV lounge. She's told my husband that he was right, she needed to do this. She even wants to go shopping for new clothes - this is a woman who was very reluctant to leave her house for any reason for a long time, now she wants to go out shopping.

    All in 3 weeks.

  2. #2
    Senior Member catherine's Avatar
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    Wow, that's awesome!

    This is why having faith is so important to me--I'm not so much talking about religious faith, although that can be part of it. I'm just talking about faith that things will work out, and that we are so limited in our understanding in what's best for us that we're better off just going for the ride and accepting what is. When we lost our home to foreclosure I was devastated. I thought it was the worst thing that could have ever happened--leaving with my young family what I thought was going to be our "forever home." But it took only one week in New Jersey for me to see that we had actually found ourselves in a much more suitable place. We've been here very happily for 32 years.

    I am so happy for you, your DH and especially your MIL. This is just the beginning. Next she'll be organizing sing-a-longs!
    "Do any human beings ever realize life while they live it--every, every minute?" Emily Webb, Our Town
    www.silententry.wordpress.com

  3. #3
    Senior Member iris lilies's Avatar
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    What a great thing, good!

  4. #4
    Senior Member razz's Avatar
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    This story is repeated so often that I do get annoyed when I hear of all the gloom and doom and fear expressed about assisted living for those who need it. With a good and active advocate to monitor the situation, supportive care in a proper setting can be wonderful in addressing the fears of those coming to their limits of self-sufficiency. Thanks for the update.
    Gandhi: Happiness is when what you think, what you say and what you do are in harmony .

  5. #5
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    Fantastic news! I am so glad for your mil and for your whole family. It is an incredible relief, to know our loved ones are being well cared for, and best of all, that they have made a happy adjustment.

  6. #6
    Senior Member rosarugosa's Avatar
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    That is wonderful news, Herbgeek!

  7. #7
    Senior Member SteveinMN's Avatar
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    Nice to hear that things have turned out for the better...
    If Americans expended even a fraction of the energy on civic engagement that we spend on consumer ideology, our democracy would be much healthier. Can you imagine people camping out to vote? -- Charles Roberts, Amherst, Mass., Nov. 25, 2006

  8. #8
    Senior Member JaneV2.0's Avatar
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    I'm glad this worked out so well!
    I agree with Catherine that faith is often rewarded.

  9. #9
    Senior Member flowerseverywhere's Avatar
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    Wonderful. We have a relative who will soon turn 90 and is self isolating and refusing to leave her house. Sitting around alone makes you crabbier and lonelier, driving even people who would interact with you away.

  10. #10
    Senior Member Sad Eyed Lady's Avatar
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    I ran into my niece by marriage the other day and she told me about taking her mother to look at an assisted living home. This woman will be turning 90 on her next birthday and lives alone in her house. She had 3 daughters, one is deceased already, one lives in another state about 1/2 the year, and that leaves the one I was talking with. She lives one town away from her mom but being in not so good health herself she is not able to do all the care giving that is needed. She said when she took her mom to visit the assisted living center she "threw a fit" and would not even look! It was a very nice facility with many helpful conveniences for her, but she was having none of it. And now, with the ending to Herbgeek's story, I think this might have been the way her experience would have gone if she had given it a chance. Thank you so much for sharing.
    "Like a bird on the wire, like a drunk in the midnight choir, I have tried in my way to be free." Leonard Cohen

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