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Thread: Happy ending to moving my MIL to assisted living

  1. #11
    Moderator Float On's Avatar
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    Wonderful! Sounds like they have some good staff and good residents who paid attention to her and got her engaged in living.
    Float On: My "Happy Place" is on my little kayak in the coves of Table Rock Lake.

  2. #12
    Senior Member herbgeek's Avatar
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    It was a very nice facility with many helpful conveniences for her, but she was having none of it.
    My MIL neither. She's needed this for between 5-10 years, and every time hubby would bring it up, she would change the subject. It was only after being hospitalized 3 times in 7 weeks, and needing to be on oxygen, and strong encouragement from several of his other siblings, AND having panic attacks was this even an option to her. And even when she agreed on the home, she was in denial about the whole thing. On moving day, she hadn't even packed her toothbrush. My guess is she kept hoping this wasn't happening to her, and some magic would materialize to make moving unnecessary.

  3. #13
    Moderator Float On's Avatar
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    Until we are faced with going into such a place yourself, we can't possibly understand. We all know it's a one-way ticket this thing called life. But when we know we are at the next to last rail station. Ugh!

    A former professor keeps us updated daily on the happenings of her "retirement center" nursing home in TX. Her husband was on the Alzheimer wing until he passed this last fall. She really lives her life fully and participates in everything. They have a great activities department. Her team won the most gold in their nightly olympics. She takes lots of photos and should write a book about how enjoyable these last years can be in a nursing home/assisted living/retirement center. Today she's going in the van to eat and shop. She was up late last night getting everyone's input on what she should eat at the restaurant.
    Float On: My "Happy Place" is on my little kayak in the coves of Table Rock Lake.

  4. #14
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    I am so happy to hear how this turned out. When my friend with Alzheimer's went in I thought she would enjoy the home because she was always such a happy person, outgoing, organizing stuff with people to have fun, etc. Instead she spiraled into such a deep depression that within 6 weeks she did not know anyone and could not carry on any type of conversation. The doctor said no way did the disease cause that to happen so quickly. Her DH dying and her going into the home was too much for her. Thankfully her cancer came back and took her within 1 1/2 years. She had no choice of course with no family.

  5. #15
    Senior Member Simplemind's Avatar
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    There seems to be such a fear about the loss of autonomy when in reality they gain it back. As hard as it was to move dad from the home he loved, it meant everything to us to see him perk back up in assisted living. He had been so lonely and it was good to interact with somebody other than his children. It was a nice place and we loved visiting him there. It was a golden time.

  6. #16
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    My aunt, who turned 92 yesterday, voluntarily moved to a continuing care facility last summer after living alone for many years (condo) after my uncle died. She is still independent at this point and is living in an apartment however, she chose to move there not just because of her age and possible future care needs, but also she said "I have been alone too long. Time to be around other people". She goes to the dining room some days when she doesn't feel like cooking and she has a more of a social life compared to living alone in her condo. I think she did OK for a number of years after my uncle passed, she continued to travel with groups and do things with friends, however she decided she is not up to traveling internationally anymore and she has outlived a number of friends, her daughter, her brother and two sisters in law. This way she can socialize and she's putting the infrastructure in place should she need care down the line.

  7. #17
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    Oh what wonderful news! I am so glad to hear herbgeek. This made me smile after the usual problem filled talk with my dad at 3pm each day

  8. #18
    Senior Member crunchycon's Avatar
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    This is really good to hear, as we just moved my mother to a retirement community this week. Right now, she’s really missing the house she lived in for the last thirty years.

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