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Thread: Almost at the end of my rope

  1. #1
    Senior Member Sad Eyed Lady's Avatar
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    Almost at the end of my rope

    I have two neutered male Manx cats who are now 14 years old, totally inside and been together all their lives. They are both such sweeties, and in my house there is just the three of us since my DH's unexpected passing almost 3 years ago. They sleep by me or on me, affectionate and loving. Taking care of them by myself is a big part of my day sometimes with litter boxes, food, water, grooming, cleaning up cat hair, cleaning up an occasional vomit and so on. If you have inside pets you know what I mean. They are big, healthy looking boys, around 14-16 pounds.

    About a year ago the older of the two, (older by a couple of months), peed on the bed one morning while I was in it! This was a first time event and I didn't know what to think. I got up and took everything off the bed and washed the sheets, comforter etc. immediately. This happened another time a few months later. I am chalking it up to maybe old age. To jump ahead this happened once maybe every few months, so I then took him to the vet which is a ordeal that I don't like putting either one of us through. However, he got a full workup including ultra-sound, urine drawn directly from his bladder via a needle, blood work, the whole thing. Everything came back good, for which I was thankful, but still no answer to our problem.

    Now, in the last month or so it has escalated again. The target is the back of a very puffy cloth sofa. I have used Nature's Miracle for cleaning to eliminate any odor that might remain. It did (as far as I could tell) but he still returned to the same place. I tried another cleaner which was supposed to be fantastic, Angry Orange, and again it took away any smell (to the human nose) but did nothing to keep him from coming back. I have tried special litter with litter attractant in it, I have added litter attractant to their usual litter, and everything I could think of. Feliway for stress, you name it. The thing is he does use his litter box for other things and was using it mostly for peeing too. Then it seemed like the back of the sofa was always getting hit anyway. So I bought some reusable washable "chair pads" for incontinence and put them up there so I could take them off easily and wash them. I also bought a twin size waterproof mattress pad and put that on the back of the sofa, a small blanket or something over it, then the pads. I am washing them constantly. I am about to the end of my rope with this! Yesterday morning I found a spot where he had peed on the carpet! I cleaned it up quickly of course, but I certainly don't want that to become a habit. I also have him on amoxicillin just in case there is an infection, but if anything the peeing has gotten worse.

    What went from once every few months is now a daily or multi-daily event.

    I thought the waterproof chair pads were going to be manageable and if he went on them I could wash them (I have 5 so they can be replaced when I take one off). I was willing to live with that, but now as I said it is so much and sometimes he even gets to the edge of the pad and the pee actually gets on the sofa! More deep cleaning. Sometimes he scratches like he would in a litter box and the pads are moved or fall off on the floor..... I could go on and on. But like I said, I don't know what else to do and in the back of my mind the unthinkable is coming more and more. Will I have to have him put to sleep? I don't like to think of that but I don't know how much more of this I can handle. Nothing has changed in our household for the past three years, and if that was the reason I would have thought it would have been triggered with my DH's passing. He was the one who did a lot of taking care of them. But, no changes really in our routine or anything of that nature.

    I feel like I am held hostage! I know I can't go anywhere because I wouldn't subject someone else to dealing with this in my absence. I wouldn't board them (it is like going to the vet - to get either of them in a carrier is a wrestling match!), and if the time came that I would have to make a final decision it would not be to surrender him because that would be too traumatic for him. This is the only home he has know for 14 years.

    I know you may not have any real answers for me, but just wondering if any of you have been through this too and if so, how did you handle it?

    Thanks for listening.
    "Like a bird on the wire, like a drunk in the midnight choir, I have tried in my way to be free." Leonard Cohen

  2. #2
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    Can you crate him? I know cats don’t like crates, but If he were at the vet he would be staying in a cage. Especially as he is an older cat, he may be sleeping much of the time? A large crate in a sunny location with a soft cat bed, a litter box, food and water might be a workable option. You could let him out for whatever part of the day you are able to spend time interacting with him directly. I don’t know what the life expectancy is for a Manx, but I have never had a cat live to 15 years and by their early teens life was mostly about sleep and eat, so for me, it would be worth trying it and seeing how his quality of life is to let him live out his final years.

  3. #3
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    Quote Originally Posted by Chicken lady View Post
    Can you crate him? I know cats don’t like crates, but If he were at the vet he would be staying in a cage. Especially as he is an older cat, he may be sleeping much of the time? A large crate in a sunny location with a soft cat bed, a litter box, food and water might be a workable option. You could let him out for whatever part of the day you are able to spend time interacting with him directly. I don’t know what the life expectancy is for a Manx, but I have never had a cat live to 15 years and by their early teens life was mostly about sleep and eat, so for me, it would be worth trying it and seeing how his quality of life is to let him live out his final years.
    I like that idea. We have a terrier who is up in years and is ill now, and the vet is trying to keep her going, but she is now incontinent. So we are keeping her in the kitchen (unless she is in here with me under supervision) and putting pads in her kennel then a towel then another pad, so at night she is sleeping in there, and in day, she is on a mattress that will be destroyed when she passes. The mattress has blankets that we wash daily and we use nature's miracle.
    It's not ideal, but we can deal with this while we figure out if she is going ot make it. We also carry her outside in the kennel 3-4 times a day (she can't walk well anymore) and she goes outside then--she has always been really good that way, will go the minute she hits the grass (or snow now.)

    But she has terrible blood work and vet is still trying to figure it out, so it is not behavioral.

    My son's cat was doing that and then they moved and it all got straightened out--he was too stressed out by where they were living and new baby in house. Now he is absolutely fine and adores both children, and has relaxed, but they are in a much nicer house, with 3 floors.

    Is he stressed about something, and can you change where he is allowedin the house, physically?

  4. #4
    Senior Member rosarugosa's Avatar
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    I'm so sorry you are going through this, SEL. Every time I've had a cat start to eliminate inappropriately, it was due to an underlying medical condition. The first cat we had this happen with did start by peeing in the bed while we were in it, and then pooped in a pair of my shoes. It was some type of thyroid condition and he was on daily pills. Our other 2 cats at the time were picking on him, so he ended up spending the last couple of his years living in our basement (door upstairs was open, but he just stayed downstairs and we fed and visited him down there.
    The second cat had chronic renal failure. We tried the sub-cutaneous fluid treatment, but he would not cooperate and we eventually gave up on that. We did succeed in curbing the inappropriate peeing by putting a covered litter box in the place that he had chosen, so we had another 2 - 3 good years before it was necessary to send him off to the rainbow bridge. Good luck with your boy.

  5. #5
    Senior Member Sad Eyed Lady's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by rosarugosa View Post
    I'm so sorry you are going through this, SEL. Every time I've had a cat start to eliminate inappropriately, it was due to an underlying medical condition. The first cat we had this happen with did start by peeing in the bed while we were in it, and then pooped in a pair of my shoes. It was some type of thyroid condition and he was on daily pills. Our other 2 cats at the time were picking on him, so he ended up spending the last couple of his years living in our basement (door upstairs was open, but he just stayed downstairs and we fed and visited him down there.
    The second cat had chronic renal failure. We tried the sub-cutaneous fluid treatment, but he would not cooperate and we eventually gave up on that. We did succeed in curbing the inappropriate peeing by putting a covered litter box in the place that he had chosen, so we had another 2 - 3 good years before it was necessary to send him off to the rainbow bridge. Good luck with your boy.
    Today I have put another litter box behind the sofa to see if this might entice him to go there. So far he hasn't used it, but we'll see how this goes.

    Crating him would not be an answer for him I don't think. He and the other cat are used to being together. They sleep curled up together, or when I am sitting down he sleeps next to me or across my leg. I think in a crate he would just yowl and carry on the whole time.
    "Like a bird on the wire, like a drunk in the midnight choir, I have tried in my way to be free." Leonard Cohen

  6. #6
    Yppej
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    I had a dog with age-related incontinence. He was ashamed that he could no longer hold it at night and would go to the farthest part of the house and use wooden closet doors as his tree. After he passed away I replaced the doors which were ruined.

  7. #7
    Senior Member CathyA's Avatar
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    Are there diapers for cats? I'm asking seriously.

  8. #8
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    Yes, there are actually diapers for pets.

    I don't have any good suggestions and it seems like you are taking the proper steps to identify cause and eliminate temptation, both to no avail.

    I had a dog that was not ever fully housebroken. Her mentality was: it's raining, I'm not going out; the grass is too wet or long, I'm not going out; it's windy, I'm not going out, etc...DH claimed she thought scatter rugs were potty pads. It was about once a month for sooo many years, then began to decline. In the end we had to turn lights on to walk through the house first thing in the morning. On the plus side, the rugs were washable and we have a fully tiled home, so no permanent damage. I didn't want to put her down over (extreme) incontinence and believed there was no cause other than age and she wasn't in pain. However, I was relieved when she passed and the ordeal was over.

    Warm wishes to you and your kitty, OP!

  9. #9
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    Perhaps you could contain kitty to one or two rooms?

  10. #10
    Senior Member Sad Eyed Lady's Avatar
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    Thanks to all of you who replied with suggestions. I THINK I have found a solution! Sunday afternoon I put another litter box behind the sofa where he is going (sofa sits out away from the wall) and since then, no more inappropriate peeing! He goes right to that box and pees as if that was what he was waiting for all along! I am so thankful and happy. I was running out of solutions that I thought we could live with, but so far this seems to be the answer. Sure, it might be a bit unsightly, but so are pee pads laying on the back of the sofa.

    I have two cats as mentioned before and they have been together all their lives. In the bathroom there has always been two litter boxes and they both used these. I just wonder if he wanted one all to himself? The other cat so far has shown no interest in this new box in the living room.
    "Like a bird on the wire, like a drunk in the midnight choir, I have tried in my way to be free." Leonard Cohen

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