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Thread: Two Households

  1. #51
    Senior Member JaneV2.0's Avatar
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  2. #52
    Senior Member catherine's Avatar
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    I'm facing a similar dilemma. We have two bedrooms and two closets, but neither closet would pass muster on an HGTV House Hunters show. They don't even have doors! I have to run a dowel through a curtain and use that as a door.

    We are going to buy a dresser, cheap, but to be honest, I prefer to "steal" the Eastlake dresser that came from my great-aunt's cottage which is currently in the bedroom now occupied by BIL. It only has 3 drawers, though. Thankfully I don't have that many clothes, but still....

    I was considering under-bed solutions. Eventually, like you, I think we'll build organization systems in the two closets. I laugh, though, at our expanding need for bigger closets. My MIL's house was 4 bedrooms. Each bedroom had very small closets--no bigger than the small ones in my lack house, and none of the 6 people who lived in that house seemed to require more.
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  3. #53
    Senior Member herbgeek's Avatar
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    I prefer to "steal" the Eastlake dresser that came from my great-aunt's cottage which is currently in the bedroom now occupied by BIL.
    I don't want to hijack the thread, but did BIL move in with you? Wasn't he supposed to get his own place? What are you going to do when you sell the NJ house? Will he expect to move with you to Vermont?

  4. #54
    Senior Member iris lilies's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by herbgeek View Post
    I don't want to hijack the thread, but did BIL move in with you? Wasn't he supposed to get his own place? What are you going to do when you sell the NJ house? Will he expect to move with you to Vermont?


    Answering for fantasy catherine:

    “ My BIL is getting ready to move to Florida. He has purchased a simple little mobile home in a nice mobile home park, and he has a job lined up at the nearby golf course. He has run his budget several times and he can afford this place with money to spare. Already his single lady neighbors have invited him for dinners and cards, and he made friends at his last visit there. He is hiring a moving truck and I wont have to help him load it or move. He will be gone next month.”

    This is my wish for catherine.

  5. #55
    Senior Member catherine's Avatar
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    Yes, BIL moved in with us. We don't know what his grand plan is, but even though we told him repeatedly he needs to buy a small, cheap place in cash and a decent used car (his is 15 years old and falling part) before he fritters away his cash, he seems reluctant to put his money anywhere where it might actually do him some good.

    For the time being he's staying here, and to be honest, I'm fine with that this summer. We'll be away, and we don't have to worry about leaving a vacant house. Plus we told him he has to pay us rent (he has been paying us a token amount for rent) and mow the lawn every week.

    Once we decide to get rid of the house, we'll see what he decides to do.

    Frankly, herbgeek, I worry about his outcome. Again, I have repeatedly warned him to read YMOYL and/or Dave Ramsey in order to understand exactly what his income is vs his outgo and to NOT SPEND BEYOND HIS MEANS. But that ain't happening. He goes out to a bar after work almost every night and orders appetizers and a few beers, he buys convenience store coffee in the morning, when he could get an 8 cent cup of coffee here at the house. He's looking to buy a gold chain--God only knows why. Right now he's in Las Vegas at a conference for a crazy multi-level marketing business he's joined, which he'll never earn a thing from. And I know he brings home maybe $1200 a month MAX, only 8 months of the year in a seasonal job.

    My big concern is he blows through his proceeds from the house, and with his very checkered work history, he'll probably only get minimal social security. And he has no more safety nets. Obviously no one is PLANNING on his moving to Vermont, but I was just telling DH this morning that who knows.


    ETA: Just saw iris lilies post: Great fantasy! I'll keep dreaming it and maybe it will come true!
    "Do any human beings ever realize life while they live it--every, every minute?" Emily Webb, Our Town
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  6. #56
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    Quote Originally Posted by catherine View Post
    Yes, BIL moved in with us. We don't know what his grand plan is, but even though we told him repeatedly he needs to buy a small, cheap place in cash and a decent used car (his is 15 years old and falling part) before he fritters away his cash, he seems reluctant to put his money anywhere where it might actually do him some good.
    I laughed at this line "reluctant to spend money anywhere it might actually do him some good". So a sibling is bankrupting my mom spending all her money, and yet if I urge her to spend some money on her falling apart house no "there's no money" - well yes there is and it goes for the credit card debt my sibling runs up all the time ... until it's all gone I guess and the house is still falling apart. It's like for heavens sake if you are going to spend money then SPEND MONEY but do it for something that might do some long term good.

    Oh well I know I can't save them, I can hardly save myself, and I can't find a small cheap place for cash except maybe in Florida so. But since my car is almost new now, it's one concern I don't have.
    If you want something to get done, ask a busy person. If you want them to have a nervous breakdown that is.

  7. #57
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    Here is a mobile home in Mt Dora, near Orlando, where he could caddy year round (Disneyworld, etc)

    https://orlando.craigslist.org/tro/d...538085275.html

    Here is one in Ft Myers:

    https://fortmyers.craigslist.org/lee...542398366.html

    (As you can probably tell, this is my back up plan, now that I am over sixty!)

  8. #58
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    Quote Originally Posted by catherine View Post
    Yes, BIL moved in with us. We don't know what his grand plan is, but even though we told him repeatedly he needs to buy a small, cheap place in cash and a decent used car (his is 15 years old and falling part) before he fritters away his cash, he seems reluctant to put his money anywhere where it might actually do him some good.
    I've been trying to decide if I write this and I'm going to. Catherine, he doesn't have to save himself. You do it for him. He knows he will never be homeless or starving. What could possibly motivate him to save his money instead of spending it? To me his plan is obvious. You bailed him out yet again.

    We watched my in-laws spend down their entire retirement bailing out his sister and 3 grandsons for 15 years. They had a fantastic time, with nice cars, a nice home and lots of groceries as well as travel. My in-laws are both still working at 77 and 78y old. They did it to themselves and the sister/grandsons? They've all moved away and offer NOTHING....no help..... no nothin'.

    You reap what you sow.

  9. #59
    Senior Member catherine's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gardnr View Post
    I've been trying to decide if I write this and I'm going to. Catherine, he doesn't have to save himself. You do it for him. He knows he will never be homeless or starving. What could possibly motivate him to save his money instead of spending it? To me his plan is obvious. You bailed him out yet again.

    We watched my in-laws spend down their entire retirement bailing out his sister and 3 grandsons for 15 years. They had a fantastic time, with nice cars, a nice home and lots of groceries as well as travel. My in-laws are both still working at 77 and 78y old. They did it to themselves and the sister/grandsons? They've all moved away and offer NOTHING....no help..... no nothin'.

    You reap what you sow.
    Gardr, I'll respond and then we can return the topic to the OP. I take no offense at what you said. I know that I'm very prone to enabling and have committed many sins in the past with regard to that. But in this case, since we sold the house, BIL is no longer costing me any money. In fact, he's paying us rent, and he'll be a warm body in the house this summer while we're away, which is a good thing for us. So, yeah, we bailed him out by offering him a place to stay, but it's not like he's living here scot-free.

    Yet, do I need to work on my compulsion to save people? Yes, absolutely.

    I'm very lucky, though. My family isn't like the one you described--an empty well kind of family. If I reap what I sow, I must have sown some wonderful "family" seeds, because my greatest source of fulfillment is not my bank account, but my close-knit family. I'm very blessed.
    "Do any human beings ever realize life while they live it--every, every minute?" Emily Webb, Our Town
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  10. #60
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    My fear would be that he thinks he is going to live with you guys in Vermont. What if he has spent all his $ by then? Luckily the house isn't big enough

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