I think this is relationship based, even though it is a work one. It is a pattern one as well. I realized this is the total definition of power and control. My supervisor and I talked about something the Friday before spring break, I had made a decision and he seemed fine on the phone with it. Then Saturday morning he sends an email that I get Sunday night saying I am facing disciplinary action for making the decision, and he is gone on a cruise for the week of course so I can't talk it out with him. I am a wreck, making plans to be fired, or quit immediately. I go to my DR and my counselor, basically waste part of my break on this. When I saw my counselor and described my symptoms I got a probable diagnoses of PTSD, (no wonder I am struggling to let go of stuff).
In any case yesterday we had our meeting, he brought it up and I asked what happened since we were fine on the phone. He said he had been fine, he agreed with my decision, and then he realized I had made a decision. So the simple act of a qualified subordinate (don't know if female is part of it) making a decision was all it took for him to become threatening. Like seriously WTF! But unfortunately I know this is pretty common. Back to relationships of power and control, will we ever get beyond that as humans? Who knows, I am just working very hard to move on, but we all know this will come up again because,,, well humans.