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Thread: the definition of power and control

  1. #11
    Senior Member
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    So I edited my stuff to get out of the story as much.

    Basically how do we deal with power and control, when we feel on the receiving end, when we catch ourselves needing a lot of control. Etc. I can't really prove anything about my situation, I can only talk about how it affected me. Maybe he didn't mean it that way, maybe he is totally unconscious about it? Who knows, but I was looking for a universal element I think, the combination of times when we are responsible and accountable but have no power in decisions. Sometimes we can't just leave, or get out as quickly as we want. I have learned the only way to change it is to simply leave, and I am working my rear off to do that. Meanwhile it has had an affect on me of course. It is REALLY good to name it clearly.

  2. #12
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2010
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    478
    Zoe, STOP. Stop. Breathe.

    Now, get a grip. You are always catastrophizing, always bouncing to and from your doctor, always looking for sympathy and justification, hoping for a diagnosis that lets you off the hook. Whether itís your work life, your family, your Buddhist group or your friends, thereís always this gasping out-of-breath-gripped-by-panic atmosphere. Everythingís always awful, everybody misunderstands you, nobody ever appreciates you or your work, nobody ever takes your needs into account. From outside, thereís a clear pattern and a common factor.

    IF (a very big IF) you have PTSD, youíre in for the roughest ride of your life.- if you want to be in control of your own life. DO NOT use it as a get-out of-jail-free card. Thatís cheap and nasty.

    Iíve lived with PTSD (after diagnosis) for 25 years, and it takes bloody hard, consistent, relentless work to get on top of it. It takes determination to face the incident/s that brought it on. You have to be willing to grab the demons and haul them into the light, over and over. Each time they do shrink a little and lose some of their power. It takes consistency to rewire the neural pathways.

    Iíve worked through biofeedback and autogenics training. Iíve done CBT and Burns therapy. Year after year. Iím on top of it now. I still sometimes have flashbacks and panic attacks, much rarer now, much less intense. I have my coping mechanisms ingrained. I still break out in drenching sweats and my muscles tremble, but I donít lose it.

    Stop. Breathe. Do as others have suggested - ask your supervisor for a clear written job description, directives, and standard operating procedures. Be pro-active. Donít whine or self-justify. Say that youíre concerned that you may have misunderstood what is required of you and you would like to improve your performance. Bear in mind that different supervisors have different goals and values, so a new boss may not accept what was good enough for a previous boss.

  3. #13
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2016
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    2,237
    Quote Originally Posted by Zoe Girl View Post
    So I edited my stuff to get out of the story as much.

    Basically how do we deal with power and control, when we feel on the receiving end, when we catch ourselves needing a lot of control. Etc. I can't really prove anything about my situation, I can only talk about how it affected me. Maybe he didn't mean it that way, maybe he is totally unconscious about it? Who knows, but I was looking for a universal element I think, the combination of times when we are responsible and accountable but have no power in decisions. Sometimes we can't just leave, or get out as quickly as we want. I have learned the only way to change it is to simply leave, and I am working my rear off to do that. Meanwhile it has had an affect on me of course. It is REALLY good to name it clearly.
    I think one way we deal with it is to try to reframe our consciousness and realize that we do have power, in any situation. We remember what Einstein said about not being able to solve a problem at the consciousness at which is was created. So we need to rise above that, to feel less trapped and "at the mercy of."

    That is what I try to do, anyway, with varying degrees of success!

  4. #14
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2010
    Posts
    645
    I agree with Ultralight, get out fast as you can.
    No one protects us from idiot managers in the workplace unless you are Union?

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